Color Comments on the British Open

I was highly entertained by Peter Alliss's comments over the last two days of golf-watching. (I know, I know; but it's guilty pleasure #38.)

Normally a BBC commentator, this past weekend he did some guest commenting, at the British Open, for TNT.

Who won or lost is unimportant (to me, at least) but these comments of Mr Alliss were golden:

(In response to another commentator's statement that Peter, 'didn't really understand the situation because he was English, not Scottish'): Hey...I could have gone the whole way, could have changed and had the operation and everything — I just chose not to.

(Abstrusely pointing out a terrible second-hole score): Four nine three four four three . . . hunh — that used to be my telephone number.

(A conversation with a US commentator who'd been referring to a player that twitters, then asked Peter, 'You were twittering earlier, too, right?'): I don't twitter — we've only recently just got gas at my house.
To which the US commenter replied, with a chortle: Natural gas?
Peter's retort was a dry: Don't be silly — lamps!

(Referencing a logo-type design on the sleeve of a young Japanese player): I wish I knew what that said, on his shoulder. David Beckham has tattoos there — but . . . apparently . . . he's satisfied with it . . . there, on the material.


Davecat said...

Reminds me of this bloke that I'd read about years ago by the name of Sid Waddell, who happens to be a commentator for darts competitions in the UK. I mean, I've watched darts competitions once, out of boredom, and the comments seemed rather non sequitur (to me, anyway, as I don't habitually follow darts), but Sid goes out of his way. His comments are so lysergic that you genuinely wonder if he's on something. Which would make sense, if you're willingly commenting on a darts competition. Some of my favourites:

That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!

That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.

He's about as predictable as a wasp on speed!

This guy's so good, he could play without arms!

He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.

and my all-time fave:

When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer... Bristow's only 27.

Wikipedia has a cluster of them here. Utterly terrifying.

Anonymous said...

It was very interesting for me to read that blog. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

veach st. glines said...

Thanks to you both for the input and that blog compliments.

Anonymous said...

Rather interesting blog you've got here. Thank you for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to them. BTW, why don't you change design :).

veach st. glines said...

Is this the only post you read Anon Nee Mouse? Because there are such themes located throughout and your last comment was in Summer of 2009, this one is January of 2010. That you are commenting on this same post is upanddownright strange.

But I like strange. It's OK.