Showing posts with label ancillary diatribe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ancillary diatribe. Show all posts

⬒ Mark Rothko ⬒

 
The magnitude—on every level of experience and meaning—of the task in which you have involved me, exceeds all my preconceptions and is teaching me to extend myself beyond what I thought was possible for me.  For this, I thank you. 
 

 
        Mark Rothko is the name of an artist whom I chose to admire after my eye discovered his frames in combinations of colors on the walls of some museums where my professors worshiped.  This was while I was attending classes (paying these professor's salaries) because everyone I'd trusted, watched, read or obeyed said, "better humans were graduates and the best graduates matriculated."  So, after college, when I chose to wring my income from the other lobe of my puzzle-solving grey matter, I succeeded in failure.  A mark I branded onto me at the behest of everyone I'd . . . except I today-now know how to no longer see things as a main quest and side quests.  I'm this currently-held collection of values.  Still, one of the artists I admire:

        Mark Rothko wrought a living creating colored panes of light while his life spanned world wars and he weighted his involvement in both American industry and the boom in commerce that it caused (and deserved) against the autumnal strife of his personal theosophical coda . . . is quite a sentence.  And, if I failed to italicize the 'Mark...coda' portion of this meta-paragraph: my apologies; but, you understand (or you shouldby now) what I'm attempting to accomplish here, don't you?
 
        Mark Rothko is the open, opening, closing or closed window between my best friend and I [she loves him] and that's an opinion people are allowed to possess, is what I re-iterate.  She sees the size of blocks of colors which inform her of the type of instrument used to impart that color onto the surface and the deliberate strokes of fluid which must have dried into a slightly lighter tone near the edge where the collection of tones is more direct but not brighter and thinks about how this type of dissociation is leaving another comfortable impression in the after-image when she blinks.  While I admire other artists who communicate with more visual complexity, which translates into requires more time (both, for me to fully appreciate the task accomplishment, and for the artist to create it) she derides me by asking, "What it-is about . . ."
 
        Mark Rothko marked his logo in your ego and labelled it the happy baby.  Remember?  When you watched the ceiling while listening to now become then and then remain now until someone said by bye or nite night and then the streetlights washed the ceiling thru the window's shadow with your contentment of what this all, really, was about.  And, was still happening with every prenatal breath?  preternatural-questioning breath?  conscious breath?  We no longer think about the times anchored by tears; those buoys are easy to locate.  There were years of happy and decades of content spent inside closed colors shadowing ideas returned to tackle the successes and delineate what exactly the satisfaction sense "felt like".  Try this.  While keeping in mind the over-arching decision to compare or equate-to cashmere:  Imagine being relegated to the chore of picking up all the spilled pumice and putting their fragments in burlap coffee-bean sacks.  Now.  Create a cashmere equivalent which holds a specific forceful feeling that stands in opposition to that of the gravel-grit abrasion. 
 
        Mark Rothko's "magnitude thank-you note" quote was him trying to relate thanks to the art patrons who afforded his ability to find the desire to become [insert word which means best version of one's self]. And he accomplished what he did not know he wanted to accomplish when he started, thru self motivation into experimentation and toward existential realization.  Because nothing else matters (a stanza from a Metallica song).
 


If I have a superpower, we'll know in the next...

 
        Thirteen years.
         
        Umm, eh, what's that?
         
        I've learned about a superpower that I might have; it takes about thirteen years for results, so I'm currently testing to determine if I can strengthen its severity and reduce its lag-time.

        Oh, wow, Ok.  Explain, please.  And. ahh, just hit the highlights.  I don't have room for tangents or deep explanations in my head anymore today.

        Twitter became the "first big thing" to reduce communication quality.  Thirteen years ago, I created this artwork, titled:  Kill Twitter, Kill It Dead  after recognizing it was harming more than just the previously addled.  Those who once possessed humor and contemplative insights were slowly (but not imperceptibly) communicating as if they were all self-lobotomized stoners.
 
        Impaired awareness had caused as well as cauterized their brain damage.  Consequently, they continued to blindly self-harm.  For hours.  Everyday.
 
        As one of only a few audience-members who recalls admiring their expertise—as skilled aerialists and trapeze artists, net-lessly soaring thru the highest circus tent peaks—I felt dismayed to recognize them intentionally stumbling around the center ring, as they cheerfully climbed into and out of tiny clown cars with a growing crowd of others.
  
        After thirteen years, Twitter was beheaded and arrow-shot thru the spine.  While it does still exist as a "formerly known as" entity, its existence possesses a musky MySpace flavor.

        Right, soo, yea, your superpower was to predict or to cause this with a cartoonish sketch?

        And now, to determine my efficacy:  

Kill the GOP, Kill it Dead


        If you are reading this after 2035, and the GOP is still a viable US political party, then my superpower failed (or did not exist).
 
 
similar:
 
 

What Difference A Year Makes

 
 
Mystery may be mysterious, but it always causes curiosity in the curious
 
Thoughts are those things inside us, which exist before we say them
 
Thoughts become cogent ideas the longer one contemplates them
 
Us our-cells and we:  Non-Essential in Forming the NonDual
 
 
 
 
 
whelmax zipless tightsoft darksilent 11Ksec drypump up-level {90∆8-1/4hhc-30+60ⓒ}

 
 
 
watershedate:
 
 

News from Vermont (history repeats, 2023 chapter)

        Hey, hey . . . national news keeps "wringing" the Vermont is Flooding bells on-the-hour.  Erm howz things?
 
        Kinda nice.  It feels like watching the walls creeping in on the crew of Jedi's after they jumped into the trash compactor . . . only the walls a closing at about four inches an hour.  Same trash compactor from 2011 and same Jedi's who are now a dozen years older but no smarter.
 
        You're not under water, tho?  Right?
 
        Our apartment didn't get water damaged after Hurricane Irene in 2011, but the basement flooded, the streets flooded, and nobody could travel for days.  Clean-up lasted months and years all around the town and state.  No way to know if tomorrow or the next week will be worse or better.

        What causes it to happen in Vermont of all places?

        Mountains.  A state of mountains is a state of valleys.  Every valley contains a river fed by the creeks and streams coming off the mountains.

        Well . . . stay dry!

        Will do.  Does it sound wrong to say I'm not worried about this in any way?  Am I supposed to be expressing alarm or concern or "well wishes" to those around me who are expressing their worry or self-concern?  I can't get that pump going in myself, not when I own a pair of boots, a raincoat, and know how to walk or wade to a higher elevation.
 
        Here's my best-opportunity to leave a composite of my own previous images, not because I don't have new images (and videos) but because . . . watching the trash compactor walls creep in at four inches an hour [listen to the downpour which hasn't stopped in days] is kinda not scary at all.  Especially not for a Jedi [artist who owns raingear and lives within the shadow of higher elevation].
 
 
they might be freaking

my perspective floats the surface calmly

from either perspective: head or snapper, it feels tame

our town high-water marker now looks like my childhood door-frame

 
        Thinking of you and yours.  We're not doing anything different than you'd be doing if the trash compactor around you was closing at 4"/hr.  - having coffee and watching it happen!

The Imaginary Court Cases

 

 

 


 

 

which play-out in your mind, originate in the I (sounds like, "in the eye")

every judgement (sounds like, "Judge meant") depends on our consensus

I disdain the half-assed results when you veto an item on our "to-do list"

you can only half-hearted-ly enjoy unvetted items never added to the list

 

mindcourt: we deliberate a boulders weight (sounds like, "bolder's wait")

we learn logical reasoning rules used to imagine a list you won't shirk-off

occasionally—we, both you and I, autopilot (sounds like, "ought to pilot")

rarely is there a need for spontaneous ice cream (sounds like, "I scream")


encouraging experimentation measures each risk before it goes on the list

barriers contain curiosity (sounds like, "move 'long, nothin' to-see-hear!")

question: if you're uncurious about embracing 'question-everything ethos'

assume (sounds like, "ass-you-me") this barrier was programmed by your


one-size-fits-all society; abusive ancestors; or your cultural indoctrination

(no-matter its origin) the barrier exists because you still re-in-force prune

to learn how to disregard a barrier, discover your programming (meditate)

hint for novices (sounds like, "no vices") you clearly labelled your trauma!


 


Well . . .

 

 

If I were to tell you only one thing about them; I would say,

    "They were born with more bones in the part of the spine that covers nether-regions—umm, more tailbones!   Yea, that's (was) their superpower, for sure.    Better when using it to communicate and for keeping cold winds away.   And don't get me started on how much more beautiful that presents when hoping to be noticed; but in that hard-to-notice-at-first kind of way.   You know?   Plants the idea from a distance, '...there's somethin' bout em...' and (only later) you'd be-thinkin:  *that curly tail! So expressive.*"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         If I were to tell you only one thing about them; I would say, "They were born with more bones in the part of the spine that covers nether-regions—umm, more tailbones!  Yea, that's (was) their superpower, for sure.  Better when using it to communicate and for keeping cold winds away.  And don't get me started on how much more beautiful that presents when hoping to be noticed; but in that hard-to-notice-at-first kind of way.  You know?  Plants the idea from a distance, '...there's somethin' bout em...' and (only later) you'd be-thinkin: *that curly tail!  So expressive.*"
  
 
      Is "picture any import?" or can you separate the text from the image and imbue your imagination with the insights planted there by words alone?  This is the challenge:  Write a paragraph which you hope 'sets the hook' in readers and then attach an image which stands in opposition to the intended ideas in your paragraph.

To 'Figure it Out for Yourself' Examine these Values:

    "I have a few questions, is that OK with you?"  Their handshake was firm, smooth, not overly energetic, and could never be considered aggressive; a soon-to-be-forgotten clasp of hands, which could be perfectly natural or could be engineered and choreographed to be indistinguishable from it.

    "Please, I'm all yours.  Fire away."  Their smile seemed genuine, even visible in the creases above their naturally thin eyebrows.  Also visible was the normal amount of teeth stain for their age, which may have been straightened decades ago, but no cosmetic whitening or apparent implants.

    "Although it's unnecessary to explain your reasons, I'd like to know your all-time favorite US president."  Eye contact moved up and around, slight nod as the question set-in, after a brief moment of consideration, they said . . .

    Artfully Trying for Ultra-Safe:  A Mount Rushmore-famous one.  [Educated conservatives; Narcissists, who refer to themselves as an Independent or as a political Libertarian; and Agnostics, who are politically apathetic or only remember a US president's name from primary school.]

    Attempting any Gain-Without-Give Ploy:  A deflection, non-answer, or request for you to "go first".  [Uneducated psychopaths; Religious fundamentalists; and those who fall into the vast category of "unethical, immoral, and untrustworthy" (e.g. organized criminals, most life-long politicians, and many authoritarians in positions of authority).]
 
    Providing Un-Asked-For Reasoning:  Even leading with it, to either appear 'being aware of flaws' justifies their position, or to explain why they aren't embarrassed by their choice's lack of remarkableness (e.g. because they were born in the same state).  [Perfectionist's; Some who are prone to 'Magical Thinking'; The occasional over-thinker with Autism or Asperger's; Children and immature adults, unpracticed at conversation; and "Floor Holders" to-whom, answering and waiting for the next question makes them feel stress, anxiety or irritation.]

    Jimmy Carter:  A one-term president most-known for his after-presidency accomplishments.  [Left of Center Democrats; "Farm-to-Table" Environmentalists; and kind-hearted Prius-drivers with white-guilt.] 
 
    Richard M. Nixon:  An "unethical, life-long authoritarian-politician" most-known for his resignation after failing to cover-up the criminal break-in(s) of the Democratic Re-Election Headquarters, which he authorized.  [Anyone who overly professes their "Pride in being who they are" (without irony); Most "Tell-it-like-it-is" or "down-to-earth" super-nationalists (who want to be honest and say: Bush Junior, or even Trump, but are just aware-enough to lie.]

    Dwight D. Eisenhower:  The last US five-star general who was "in command" at the end of WWII and began NATO.  ["Center-leaning" moderate Republicans; Hawkish supporters of US "military might"; and Conservative Democrats.]
 
    JFK:  A one-term president most-known for being assassinated.  [Conspiracy-theorists; Admirers of 'Celebrity' (to verify, ask about Princess Diana); Catholic "apologists"; and any member of the general public who has never thought about who their favorite president would be until this very moment.]
 
    FDR:  The only president elected to four terms in office, most known for the country's recovery from the Great Depression, support of WWII, enacting Social Security, the United Nations, and the Manhattan Project.  It is the only correct answer.  [Anyone with empathy (extra points if they do not name any flaws, and, when you verify by asking about Japanese Internment Camps, they acknowledge the facts, but do not attempt to justify).]

    LBJ:  A one-term president, most-known for his highly-effective use of "dirty politics" to obtain civil rights act(s), voting rights, medicare, medicaid, and immigration reform.  ["Modern Liberals" who are more comfortable with the term 'progressive' but may be slightly uncomfortable with terms like 'leftest' or 'social democrat'; Idealist's (at heart) who are less willing to turn a blind eye toward FDR's failings; and anti-corporate individualists who are critical of any hypocrisy, especially their own.]

    Ronald Regan:  The Corporate-Republican's Wet Dream, most-known for neoliberal supply-side economics, tax cuts for the wealthy, de-regulations, and trickle-down economics.  ["Modern Conservatives" who are, definitely, without any empathy; Psychopathic-sociopaths; Financially secure from birth; and the newly "Comfortably-Wealthy" (or those who aspire to become so).]

S p a c e | A n t i - M a t t e r

 
 
        •••  The near-empty parts between galaxies (commonly referred to as: space) is expanding.  There are no astrophysicists who disagree with this current consensus.  Measurements vary (slightly) but it's the dominant scientific-theory explaining why our universe is thought to have 'begun' about 14 billion years ago, even though our visible portion of the universe has an estimated diameter well over 90 billion light years.
 
        •••  Many physicist-mathematicians posit that for every particle of matter an anti-matter particle must also exist; matter and anti-matter eradicate themselves when they interact, but—because this eradication is rarely observed—anti-matter's existence is still considered unproven.

        •••  The two are one.  The matter/anti-matter eradication mostly happens between galaxies and (similar to space-scale double-slit experiments) the particles erase themselves by "going back in time" and erasing the "time in which the particles previously existed".  The only measurable evidence of the matter/anti-matter eradication is an expansion of near-empty space.

        •••  Space's expansion is what keeps galaxies together.  (Is it the elusive 'dark energy'?)

        •••  If you were an anti-matter Perfittorial, you would be thinking the same thing that you are currently thinking at this moment as a curious human internal-theorizer.  Anti-matter meet matter . . . who both think of themselves as matter and the other as anti-matter.
 
        •••  When you contemplate or ponder, and an idea/answer seems to arrive from outside of yourself, it "comes from your subconscious" (according to some); or, it's your "creative right-hemisphere" communicating with your "egoic left-hemisphere" (according to some others).  A few think it's a true "gut feeling" because they think your micro-biome (bacteria through your entire body) communicates chemically with your organs and brain.  A small number think it is the collective consciousness or non-dual (I'm) guiding all of the above; but almost everyone fails to theorize that, at times, it is you thinking to your anti-matter self.  I am not certain, but I suspect that I'm experiences consciousness and does not answer esoteric mental questions.

Family Trees


        Picture your family tree; exponentially expanding back, through the generations.  How far do you imagine it extends?
 
        Do you extend your ancestral family tree to include proto-human species, from millions of generations ago?  Since there was never a clearly demarcated "line" between proto-human and human —why not keep going back along your mammalian-portion in your family tree?
 
        But, how can you choose to stop looking back along that massive pyramid of organic life-forms at the "mammal-lizard" that must have been your ancestor a few hundreds-of-millions of generations ago?  Is it because of the warm-blooded versus cold-blooded seems too "alien" (too far away from human)?

        Keep going.  There were billions of generations of single-celled organisms, which thrived on sunlight or carbon dioxide (or some other food-source) until there was sufficient levels of their waste-products (oxygen) to allow multi-cellular life to procreate and survive.  Your family tree should include some portion of those small animals, right?  

        There is one long ancestral line of survivors who duplicated or cloned, then they spawned, later they birthed, which leads from some combination of inorganic proteins (think: RNA-virus) to you.
 
        Every one of those organic organisms should be in your imagined family tree.  And, why stop there?  I expect it's because consciousness, and the organic drive-to-survive, may not have been (and may still not be?) present in inorganic proteins.
 
        Is it probable that inorganic proteins were/are unaffected by the extreme temperatures, radiations, and vacuum-conditions of space—during the ten billion years between the universe's expansion and the point when the third planet away from the star (now called: Sol or The Sun) cooled sufficiently enough for those viruses to crash land and begin their job of Terra-forming?     
 
         

Angry Amazon Tale (but it works great)

          For those who enjoy Amazon Tales, this episode is an unusual.  One year ago, I purchased a cheap space heater and gave it this two-star review:

Impossible to assemble (but works great)

Reviewed in the United States πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ on January 26, 2022 
Verified Purchase 

Impossible to attach screw-in plastic legs because the guide-pins and hook-slots absolutely can not line-up with the metal housing (and removing the guide-pins causes the brittle plastic to shatter). The plastic handle, which requires complete disassembly of the metal housing to attach, is either designed to rattle and not fit tightly on purpose - or - these issues are systemic throughout the heater and it will soon stop working. Please note: This space heater works wonderfully without legs and without a handle (as long as you always place it on a surface that will not catch on fire because the reason for the legs is to help keep the heat from melting your carpet and don't pick it up until it has had ample time to cool down because the reason for the plastic handle is to prevent you from burning yourself).
 
          I assumed they sent me legs/handle from a different model; and decided not to go thru the hassle of returning when this $25 heater worked fine propped on a metal cookie tin.  I received the following message today:
 

           The order and review are accurate, albeit I did not follow the link because maybe this was a new way to spread a virus.
 
          Is this the absolute best way to drive an Amazon competitor out of business?  Or, maybe, this was written by a disgruntled ex-employee?  The actual company would never (or would they).

more Amazon Tales:

 
 

manbug I VOTED sticker



          The world is (depending on where you are located in the northern hemisphere this summer of 2022):  either actually on fire, literally flooded under water, almost completely without drinking water, or an amalgam of so-too-incredibly hot and humid that only a complete and utter fool would deny Climate Change is real.  Oh, and hurricane season is imminent and (of course) expected to be especially damaging.
 
          I still cringe when I hear someone cough in a phlegmy and uncovered wayno matter that I've received a second C-19 booster.  And don't dismiss Monkey Pox as only affecting a specific minority of the population; it is spreading quickly through any saliva-on-skin-contact.  Masks are back on.
 
          Abortions are no longer a federally protected freedom for about half of the US population.   It is possible that the federal protections afforded same sex marriages will, also, soon disappear. 
 
          And there is one thing EVERYONE can do about all of this:  Vote.
 
          For.  Anyone.  Who.  Is.   Not.  A.  Republican.   (It will not make much difference in your lifetime—howeverthe 115℉ (45℃) temperatures this decade are going to become 130℉ (55℃) in the 2050's, and your grand-kids are not going to like that grandpa and grandma kept voting Republican because they wanted to pay less taxes and they did not care about anybody but themselves.) 


more:

 
 
 
          

Course Curriculum (Go On, Part 1)

 
           Core coarse chores course curriculum (the first unnecessary words were left in-place because it's one of the ways to both differentiate, whileat the same timeshowing how much our minds are different).  Another way to display the (obvious to me) different control mechanisms of my (Asperger's) brain/mind and yours is to point out that I am aware the phrase which begins after the first comma contains incorrect grammar.  I should have either used two gerunds: 'of differentiating while ... showing'.  Or none: 'both differentiate and ... show'.
 
          A third way would be to share some unimportant things from the pile of shit-I-have-coached/coaxed/coerced-into-my-mind.  This could also be an answer to:  "If someone wanted to begin studying Philosophy [with no desire to afford obtain a diploma, because they felt no need to prove (to others) they spent money and time learning about knowledge} where would that someone start?" 

          Start where you want.  But.  Maybe you might want to start at a point which allows you to gradually come to understand why you want—might GO ON wanting in the near futureto keep knowing which allows you to know more.  To understand why you know what you think you already might have known. 

         




































 

          PS: When you get tangled in the flow of investigating one, or many, of these essays; pause and listen to some (or many) of the rhythms compiled in the last video.  Or just give yourself some space to locate the knots and time to grasp the rest.   It really is as simple as meditating listening without falling asleep.

Our holiday weekend (NOAA graphics)

 
           For those who find NOAA's above graphic difficult to read:  our MLK holiday weekend is expected to be cold for a few nights [-15℉ / -26℃] and then snowy for a few more inches ⛇.   I live comfortably inside "delightful" when I see these predictions, as well as when I experience myself in it.   If you or someone you know would find this "frightful" then you have something to be thankful for!  (That you don't live here.)    

Research Notes (NOV 2021)

 

  • (So-far-successful) aural learning project based on anecdotal, experimental, results:
    • Headphones (recommend open-back, wired, with an in-line amplifier).
    • YouTube subscription (to eliminate ads).
    • Firefox (or similar browser which allows simultaneous open tabs).
    • Loop a viscerally recognizable, non-lyrical, song in a YouTube Music tab (e.g. Air - La Femme d'Argent).
    • Open any want-to-implant lecture/story in a separate tab (e.g. Lao Tzu - Be Like Water).
    • Adjust volumes so vocals are recognizable but not dominant.
  • Time must forward.  Entropy is a logical reason why this is/was/will forever be (don't take the word 'information' too-literally).
  • Historically, currently, and forever-in-the future, rational thought/critical thinking skills is a rare activity in humans.  Consequently, if you are someone who insists on evidence and your "brain recognizes a functional state which you have labeled 'uncomfortable' since you began the practice of thinking in this manner" whenever you witness -- in others -- signs of irrationality and illogical thoughts, Issac Asimov explains why you are an outlier and how to understand the lack of rationality prevalent in the masses.
  • Ponder a foundational supposition:  Quantum computers (technology utilizing quantum entanglement) might make it possible to send information backwards in time, in much the same manner as posting an article or video on the internet today is the equivalent of sending information into our future's time-line.  (Publishing a hard-copy book has always been communicating with our future selves, but digitization of books make future needle-in-haystack searchs more target-successful.  The yet-to-be-discovered task is how-to verify the information sent back in time remained accurate.
  • There are recognizable-logical reasons that most mammalian bilateral symmetry (say that fast) has evolved into today's vital organs with either two co-functioning halves in one organ (penis, vagina, tongue, brain), two completely separate organs (eyes, ears, kidneys, lungs, testicles, ovaries) or the rare, single-organ exceptions (liver, heart, skin).  Does heart count with four chambers?  Is pancreas part of the liver?  And where does one's individual bacterial biome fit-fall into this system of constantly growing, partially dead and alive cells we call a body?
  • The largest single organism on present-day Earth is either a fungal system or a massive collection of trees comprised of one underground 'root system' and millions of cloned above-ground fruiting bodies (organs).   Both are allegedly in the western US and began living long before we (the conquering majority) arrived and took governmental control of the continent from the thousands of indigenous human tribes who were populating the land (albeit without a continent-wide means of communication or government).
  • If you find yourself awake after several hours of sleep.  Get up!  Find out if the right-creative side of your brain is waking you for its own "creative" reasons (you can nap or meditate later).  The left-governing side of our brain (once awake) will draw its own, separate, conclusion as to why it is now awake (bladder, cat, noise, thirst, sinus, temperature, etc) and, unless you prime-that-pump with a "pay attention to the night-shift supervisor", it may not consider the thoughts of the right-hemisphere and, instead, guide you to return to sleep.
  • The brain's association cortex is where creativity begins.  Drawing conclusions which "others are not able to make" from an otherwize unrelated series of slices of information.
 
similar:
 
 

Research Notes (OCT 2021)

  • It is possible for the human eye-brain "observe-recognize" loop to continue to function better than at what would be accomplished by guessing, in a laboratory setting, with a series of images flashing at a rate of 13 milliseconds, which is about 20 times faster than MIT scientists expected (as previously reported in earlier scientific papers).  100 milliseconds = 0.10 (1/10th) of a second; 13 milliseconds = 0.013 (13/1000). 
  • Passage of the US Farm bill of 2018 (HR5485) removed industrial hemp from inclusion in Schedule 1 of the Controlled Substances Act.  Subsequent research has identified hundreds of different cannabinoids.  Currently, the most popular derivative/distillation of CBD is Delta 8 (Delta 10, D9, CBN, and many others are also beginning to flood the market). 
  • Experiments with women during childbirth revealed that a combination of music and scientific hypnosis therapy (hypnotic analgesia) resulted in a noticeable improvement on both mother and child; reducing labor times, reducing cesareans, eliminating most pain, etc.
  • The gut-brain axis is comprised of chemicals and nerves which continually connect the two organs and permit the contents of the intestine (trillions of bacteria) to communicate with the brain using chemicals (like serotonin) to effect/affect mood, pain, etc.  To influence one's mood/health/well being a long-term adjustment can be made in the type of food one consumes (increase the consumption of fermented foods and fiber . . . FEED your 'pets' the stuff that keeps them healthy and pay attention to their signals).
  • Broca's area of the human brain is where neurons are concentrated on processing our ability to use (and comprehend) language.  This area is on the left side of our brain which means that--because of normal mammalian physiology--our right ear is better (comprehension happens quicker) at comprehending spoken (or sung) words.
  • Cyanobacteria is the oldest life form on our planet, evidence exists of this blue-green aquatic bacteria 2.1 to 3.5 billion years ago.  Our planet coalesced into a ball of lava about 4.5 billion years ago, eventually the planet cooled enough to allow liquid water to exist and an atmosphere of nitrogen formed (oxygen didn't arrive until bacteria excreted it). 


Whelmed — Memories (and why Over- and Under- are remembered)



What is the cement of memory?

Does what we remember form who we are?

Why do we forget 99% of our lives?


          As I typed this opening paragraph in 2019, my brain was switching between thoughts about choosing interesting words that would entertain itself as it compiled this sentence and—switch—scrounged thru my memory-attic for events which might fit in a bright mauve container labelled ‘overwhelming’.   My as-I-typed brain then decided that the first event to go in was

          Witnessing—for almost two full minutes—the 2017 total eclipse of the sun.  I had prepared for that event for months.  I'd bought expensive wrap-around viewing glasses and a phone-app to track where the shadow was going to be.  Weeks earlier, I'd driven a few hundred miles to reconnoiter and read articles describing what to look for when it happened.  The day of, I had woke at 4am for a 5am departure in order to set-up three hours ahead of time and as the moon began to creep across the sun, I recalled aloud (for the handful of people with me) memories of a few previous partial eclipses and I used the term underwhelming to describe those curled and faded snapshots.—switch—Those vague recollections of pinholes in paper and flimsy cardboard glasses were now attached—like a deflated balloon static-stuck to the back of a worn-out child’s sweater—to this 2017 overwhelming event.  (I typed ‘overshadowing event’ and edited it so as to not end this paragraph on a pun.)—switch

          The moment when the entire moon’s shadow—the umbra—completely covered the sun:  the blue sky turned black; the yellow corona around the sun became white; stars became visible; the air temperature dropped; the silence of no-more bird and insect noises grabbed for my attention; spots of corona-sunlight, inside of darker shadows, took-on the changing shape (circular to crescent) of the umbra; and ripples of light wavered across the ground like faint “light snakes.”   My senses were overloaded.  My brain could not catch up.   There was no time to think or focus.

          —switch—It seems that my as-I-type brain considers it to be desirable when it-itself is unable to function as it normally functions (which, it considers to be its norm; its steady-state; its comfortable, uneventful, default mode; its regular state of being, which is neither over- nor under-whelmed) and this asItype brain is not putting anything into its memory.  Short-term memory disappears unless something over- or under-whelms enough to get stored long-term.

          I know if I were not currently documenting my thoughts—an act which facilitates asItype to be able, in the future, to become asIread (which, in turn, will become the me that has re-remembered based on what that previous-me wrote)—I would, very soon, no longer be able to recall how I occupied myself this 2019 mid-November Friday morning.  If I'd instead been studying, reading, hiking, gaming, painting, listening to music, watching videos, talking with friends, playing with my cat, or performing routine chores, I would (probably) not be able to answer the question, “What did you do?”  Because of these words, these paragraphs, this essay (about normally neither being over- or under-whelmed) I can say I was writing an essay about memory.

          Now, asItype wonders why are our recollections valued?  Is being able to recall something because it was sufficiently overwhelming/underwhelming to become immediately-permanently locked in long-term memory a prerequisite to being consciously aware of what is important to who we are and who we want to be?  And—switch—let me dig for a stronger, more recent, memory to stick in the intense yellow underwhelming container (next to those partial eclipses).

          Earlier in 2019, I drove through Glacier National Park.  I would not use the word boring to describe the slow procession up and over—but I would not use the word exciting either.  Rivulets of snow melt soaked me a few times (cabriolet top was down) and some of the hairpin turns with sheer drops revealed very interesting views; but a complete lack of wildlife and over 90 minutes of traffic-jams combined to make the 50-mile drive an unsatisfactory experience.—switch

          Why?—my asItype-self asks itself.  What made this 2019 drive memorably underwhelming?

          One answer is that my preconceived expectations were unmet; during my first visit to Glacier National Park (in 2006) the Going-To-The-Sun Road was closed because of snow (which created—in that 2006-me’s brain—an unfulfilled desire).  On that trip, I felt privileged-lucky to see (and was slightly overwhelmed seeing):  bald eagle, elk, black bears and grizzly bears, and experienced no vehicle traffic or full parking lots. 
 
 
more mind & memory essays:
 
 
 

A Comparitive View on the Varied Hue of Southern vs Northern Racism


          When an average guy (someone with a Y chromosome) possessing a vanilla tapioca mayo on wonder bread lack-of-cultural-heritage, decides to open his mouth and express an opinion about something he read about, or learned from others, or maybe witnessed—but which he could never have experienced (and will never live-thru)—because he was never a woman, or obese, or transsexual, or suffered from depression, nor was he ever homeless, or Black, or Native American, or in constant fear of being a victim of state violence (etcetra) . . . I want to tell that fucker to keep his opinion to himself.  And when that fucker is me, I tend to follow my own advice.  Not always.

          Statistics about racial populations and political tendencies are (in this white guy's mind) insufficient to explain why I'd never-again live in Alabama or Georgia or Kentucky or Indiana, nor why I am (relative-to-my-own-past) content living in Vermont.
 
          In the US South, the entire society which comprises The System (controlled by white people) is waaay beyond casually racist.  If you, dear reader, happen to be Mr or Mrs Mayo Wonderbread who lives in the South and thinks ‘beyond casually racist’ is not an accurate description of you?  Re-read my statement before you take umbrage.  The system is.  Not all people are.   (You might-could-just be casually racist and not waaay beyond).
 
          Racism is so routine-normal in the South that white strangers assume everyone who looks like they do, thinks like they do, and they'll freely talk about their KKK opinions.  The reason Trump was (and still is) so popular with white conservatives (from every state) is not because he accomplished things they wanted the President to accomplish, or that he fooled them (I met some intelligent people in the six years I lived in the US South), the reason is:  he's as extremely, hatefully, intentionally racist as they are.

           Vermont is more Caucasian than Oregon, but the few racists in Vermont who I've talked to are careful in their probing conversations.  They know they're a small minority of the population here and they don't like getting scolded or ridiculed for letting an errant word slip out of their mouth. 

           The week we moved here, I met a neighbor from the next building.  He'd seen our license tags and said, “Where in Oregon are you from?”  I told him and he replied, “I heard Portland was a really liberal city, but I guess that's something that can be beat outta somebody.”  “Sounds like a threat,” I said.  He got all apologetic-giggly and denied it with, “just jokin, not my intention, sorry sorry.”

           In Georgia that guy never would have backed down.  He would have known 90 strangers out of a 100 (including most cops) would back him up in an argument, or a fight, or maybe even in a late-nite follow-up lynching.  In Georgia, that probing conversation would have quickly switched to fighting-words.  And I would have been the one backing down when he took out a weapon.

           Here in Vermont, the hate-filled Republicans might risk getting recorded on your security camera sneaking into your yard to take your Black Lives Matter sign, or your We Stand With: sign, or your rainbow pride flag but they don't call attention to themselves.  Everyone here knows that 60% of the state is progressive (Bernie lovers) and 25% are a strange type of Northern Libertarian (love their weed, hate VT's high taxes, rarely leave New England). 

           The best way to describe Vermont is to say that the entire society which comprises The System doesn't tolerate people who are unwelcoming of people with differences. 
 
 
 
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Beau of the Fifth Column

 

          There is a voice out there, coming from Florida, who talks clearly and intelligently about a wide range of things related to current events, progressive politics, survival, and common sense.  His name is Justin King.  His scripted, cogent, and rational videos are 96.5%-of-the-time exactly what I already thought or wanted-to-learn about any given issue (currently at a ratio of 38%-knew to 48.5%-learned).  His calming, food-for-thought uploads can be found on the Beau of the Fifth Column YouTube channel.  I highly recommend listening to him daily.
 
          It was suggested that I try creating videos of my written essays, by someone who dislikes reading my Dense and Difficult to Decipher Ancillary Diatribes (DaD2DAD).  Although my words might reach a larger audience, I'd need an alternative to my face because of my artists are observers adage.  So, until I get set-up, whyn't ya listen to Beau? (it's just a thought).

Redux: "I Cecil You, Too" (First Fortnight in February)



          I have never celebrated the fake holiday in mid-February.  It's a scam holiday which businesses use to sell cards, flowers, candy, and all that foolish shit.  I give gifts or messages of love whenever the time feels right, not when someone's calendar says I'm supposed to.

          Anyway—what the fuck is this thing we all have labelled with the word: LOVE?  I know what mix of emotions I feel/have felt for those I've loved and do love (not a very large list) but it's amazingly hard to explain how certain fluctuations in my brain's chemicals affect my heart/brain/gut/libido and even harder to understand/compare when others explain their "feelings of love".  We just assume everyone must be feeling the same way we feel when we use the same words they use.

          "See that color?  That is what I have labelled: Red."
          "Oh, that's red?  Ok, I'll begin to refer to everything which is colored that way: red.  Umm, what about when I feel all these crazy feelings at the same time?  I need a label, so that when I am feeling all these feelings I do not need to explain each of them every time."
          "That is labelled:  Love."
          "What about all those same feelings, except one:  I don't want to be physically intimate?"
          "Still labelled: Love.  You could add the word Platonic, but that'll require an explanation because that word has different interpretations."
          "What about when I feel all those feelings for my pet?"
          "When I say, I love my cat, Cecil, I think I must be misusing the word 'love'.  Instead, I should-maybe find a word which is a compound for the meanings of the words: pride, enjoyment, happiness and admiration."

          I'm proud of Cecil's training and I enjoy his 'loving' attention; he never makes me angry (mostly because he can't communicate with words, has no malice, and enjoys my company); and I admire him for his actions, looks, demeanor, and thoughtfulness (Is he being thoughtful? Am I just anthropomorphizing?).  Maybe I should consider his name, Cecil, to be a label for what I feel about him—so when I say: "I Cecil you," I'm currently feeling a combination of pride/enjoyment/happiness/admiration for you.

          When I receive an "I love you" I—almost never—respond with an "I love you too". 

          It's wrong to treat an I love you as if it requires a mandatory reply.  It is not supposed to be interpreted as if it were the question: Do you love me?  Also, it should not become a replacement phrase for goodbye.  When people do that, they cause their incessant I love you's to lose their value.  Eventually, it becomes a throw-away line.  If said all the time, what do they say when they really want someone to know they have caused a rush of complicated emotions which are identified (when felt all at the same time) as the feeling of love?  

Recap:  "I Love You"—all three words—are reserved for when the emotion of love is actually being felt.  I do not want my I love you to cause an immediate response of I love you too.  I prefer either no reply or a response like: "those words make me feel good," or "Thank you," or "I like it when you tell me that," or "those words make me happy," or "when you say that, I get warm inside".  It is better that the person you love smiles and says nothing, and some time in the future, if they tell me they are currently feeling the emotion they call love—for me—I know they're feeling love at that moment and I can decide to reply with my present feelings, or not to reply.  I appreciate their statement of love when they are feeling it and then I consider what I did to make them feel that way.  This is my normal.

          When she was young, I tried to encourage my daughter, Denise, to understand and to communicate her feelings of love.  It was a long and complicated issue.  I found talking about my thoughts to her and her mother, on expressing family love, difficult.  I felt there was a lack of love in our family and wanted us to tell each other that we loved each other more often (it worked occasionally).  I also wanted us to communicate our love by kissing (which never caught on).  The compromise I got from my daughter was cheek-bumps.  I failed at explaining to her that bumping cheeks was how people communicated respect to either: an old and feeble relative; someone who was contagious; or (in France and Belgium) because that was their custom.

          Denise now says I love you to each of her children many times a day.  Each of her kids reply with a I love you too.  I see and hear their devotion and their respect.  With them, it does not seem to be a "worn out phrase" or a "throw away line".  In fact, when a child is upset (and, intentionally, does not reply to their mother's I love you) they—routinely—apologize (later) and remind her that they love her.

          I am now an old distant relative with whom respectful cheek bumps may be apropos.  And, now, I am adjusting to her normal.  Now, I reply to her I love you with an I love you, too.
 
 
mor e lov e motion: