The Next 25 Years

          As I type, my first thought is Oh what a wonderful exercise in futility.  Immediately followed by the idea that I'm more interested in my ability to refer back to this article, and see what now-me-at-53 was focused on in the autumn of 13.0.0.0.0 (which is 2012 for those not on the Myan long count calendar) than accurate or inaccurate predictions.

          I'm, currently, entering old-age.

          Everyone ages at a different rate.  For my mind and body, I was a child until I completely stood up to my parents; a young adult until I took total responsibility for myself (and got my first divorce); and I fully entered middle age when I retired from the military ten years ago.  Today, aches and pains combined with a decrease in gumption (hard to believe I'm more lazy than ever) marks the cusp of my winter years.  Only hindsight can confirm that prediction, because I might have an Indian Summer just over the horizon.

          I think the following things will happen over the next twenty five years:

• President Obama is re-elected. [✓ 6 Nov 12]
• Obamacare is re-vamped to include government single-payer option.
• Erratic weather/earthquakes around the globe intensify.  A catastrophe for some, a boon for others. 
• Droughts and fracking causes ranches/farms in the US Midwest to become uninhabitable.
• A population paradigm shift occurs in many parts of the world.
• The US elects a woman president. 
• The Internet replaces all current TV and film entertainment formats.
• Everything is streamed and downloaded instantaneously and in HD-quality.
• Paper books, magazines, and newspapers are obsolete.    
• The global recession becomes a planet-wide depression.  [ ? 2020?]
• A large-scale war erupts involving many of the "major" governments.
• Nuclear weaponry is used.
• Same-sex marriage in the US becomes federal law.
• A manned habitat is begun on Mars.
• Apophis does not crash into Earth.
• A viral pandemic kills tens of millions. [✓ 2020 - ?]
• International travel is suspended for an extensive period.
• Cannabis is legalized in the US.
• Intelligent non-human extra-terrestrial life is identified. 
• Korea is unified. 
• Cost to mail a first class letter in the US tops one dollar.
• US minimum wage reaches $20 an hour.
• Massive "employee" shift occurs (from: full-time staff members; to: self-employed contractors).
• Roads become predominantly filled with battery powered cars.
• The US gas price tops $15.00/gallon. 

          On a personal note, I don't live to see 2037 (and will be amazed if I collect one Social Security check...which is still a viable program in 12 and a half years, it's just that I'm probably not around to collect).  I hope I marry the love of my life, Pamela The Pure (she hates that moniker) [✓ 1 Nov 2014].  I will eventually drive a Smartcar [✓ June 2014]. 

POV

click and drag by xkcd

          This should have been titled click and drag until your fingers bleed.  The bottom panel is massive.  It could take over an hour to read all the blurbs.  I especially enjoy the yellow warbler floating jellyfish and the caption from the woman climbing in the schooner's rigging.  Go look for yourself.

IrReSponsible

17 April:  I mail six income tax returns (federal and state for: me, her, and our LLC).

29 June:  My refund arrives.

11 July:  Her refund arrives.

2 August:  We receive a letter from the IRS explaining that our LLC return was not mailed on time and, consequently, we owe $195.00 per person/per late month/plus interest (which, the letter alleges, equals $1,695.00).

3 August:  I surmise our LLC's tax return got delayed in the mail and try to do the math but nomatterwhat I fail to reverse-compute the numbers.  Our LLC's total income for 2011 was $3,950.00.  I can't figure out how we could owe more than half the money we made.  No...the comma isn't in the wrong place; we grossed slightly less than four thousand dollars last year.

6 August:  I learn that LLC late penalty fines are legally this exorbitant.  Because of the intrinsic workings of partnership LLC's (normally they report no income because profits are divided by the partners who report the income on their individual tax returns) the IRS can't penalize LLC's like other companies and individuals (levy late penalties based on amount owed plus interest).

7 August:  Long phone call with IRS.
          "Our documentation shows your LLC did not file its tax return on time."
          "The tax return was mailed at the same time as our personal ones, was the LLC tax return due prior to April 17th?"
          "It was due on April 15th.  Our records show it wasn't posted by that date."
          "I was given to understand by the IRS website as well as most major news outlets that the due date was actually April 17th this year, bec..."
          "All tax returns are due on April 15th.  We show yours wasn't posted on that date."
          "Because that was a Sunday.  I mailed it on April 17th.  Which I believe was the due date."
          "Our records show it wasn't posted on time."
          "OK.  Wow.  I guess I need to come at this from a different perspective.  What's the postmarked date on the envelope?"
          (pause)
          "On my LLC's tax... er... which contained my LLC's tax return?"
          (pause)
          "Hello?  Ma'am?"
          "If you desire to refute the amount you owe, late fees, and/or interest due, the IRS has sixty days to locate any and all pertinent documents.  However, interest and penalty months will continue to accrue during this period.  If you pay the amount due, by credit card, at this time, and it's later determined any or all of the amount wasn't due, it'll be refunded."
          "You don't have the envelope in front of you?"
          (pause)
          "At this time?"
          (pause)
          "the IRS has sixty days to.."
          "I feel like I'm talking to a computer.  Are you a computer?"
          "No sir.  I'm explaining how to stop the aforementioned penalties from continuing to accrue."
          "If you're a computer and I ask if you are a computer, you're legally required to say yes."
          "That's very funny, sir.  You can mail a check.  Upon receipt, the penalties would..."   
          "I don't believe I owe penalties, fines, or interest.  I mailed the tax return on time."
          "In that case, you are refuting the..."
          "Yes.  Please.  I'm refuting."
          "And you're not interested in paying the..."
          "No.  Thank you.  Not interested in that."
          "And you understand about the interest and penalties continuing during the..."
          "Yup.  Completely understand."
          "Very good.  Thank you, sir.  You will hear from the IRS by US mail no later than sixty days from today's date after a full examina..."
          "Which is what?"
          "Excuse me, sir?"
          "Today's date.  What is it?"
          (pause)
          "You said From Today's Date and I was wondering what today's date was."
          (pause)
          "So I could compute when the sixty days would be up."
          "The seventh of August is today's date."
          "Thank you."
          "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
          "Are those sixty days, calendar days or business days?"
          "Ummm.  Days.  Calendar days."
          "Thanks."

          I'm still not sure if I spoke with a person or a computer at the IRS call center.  She said ummm there at the end, which could have been programmed faux-humanity, but I think she was just a lackey reading from a script who was already mentally hanging up and forgot to hit the mute button when I asked one more parting question.

          We got a letter in the US mail today from the Internal Revenue Service.

          ...After a review of your LLC's tax documents and related paperwork it was determined your tax return was posted on time.  All previously levied fines, penalties, and interest amounts have been rescinded...

          I should feel relieved.  I don't.  I am confused...about the whole thing.  Was it a scam?  A IRS-run old-school come-along?  Hummm.

Rape Revenge

“A Spanish mother has taken revenge on the man who raped her 13-year-old daughter at knifepoint by dousing him in petrol and setting him alight.  He died of his injuries in hospital on Friday.

“…he passed his victim’s mother in the street and allegedly taunted her about the attack.  He is said to have called out 'How’s your daughter?' before heading into a crowded bar.

“Shortly after, the woman walked into the bar, poured a bottle of petrol over him and lit a match.  She watched as the flames engulfed him, before walking out.

“The woman fled to Alicante, where she was arrested the same evening.  When she appeared in court the next day in the town of Orihuela, she was cheered and clapped by a crowd who shouted 'Bravo!' and 'Well done!'”

          I dunno man, I’m not a doctor, but from what I understand if it’s a legitimate fire the body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.

          Re-blogged from too many people to backtrack (and I refuse to paste those ridiculous multiple-vertical-leftside-line-attribution things).  If you happen to be the originator of this twist on Paul Akin's quote, tell me, I'll give you credit (like that'll happen).

Among Others by Jo Walton (☆☆☆+)

          I enjoyed this book about a child of the 1970's who loves to read SF and chronicles in her diary all she does and says for about a year, which includes all the books she reads (the novel contains hundreds of book titles).  Anyone who has read any SF in the last four decades will probably agree with most of the titles which the main character author loves/dislikes, and may even expand their 'find and read' list.

          The biggest reason this book won the 2012 Nebula and Hugo awards was because it was constructed to speak directly to the judges (SF and Fantasy writers and avid fan-readers) all of whom connect with the main character because she "thinks like they did/do" when it comes to books in general and, specifically, Speculative Fiction.

          Among Others is not an epic tale; it's a nice story.  It's not amazingly-wonderfully crafted; but it has no flaws.  It does not grasp the pit of your stomach and spin it with gusto...or even without gusto; while it does encourage the reader to suspend his belief and enjoy the ride.   It—most importantly—is not a I-can't-put-it-down book.  What it has is an interesting spin on the magic-is-real plot line.

          It gets my 3-star-forgettable rating for trying so miserably hard to depict late-70's England/Wales that it loses every bit of suspense and tension when every action a character might take, or sentence a character might utter, was run through a would-that-really-happen filter before it hit the page.  I'm willing to bump it to 3-star-plus because it lists titles which I'll put on my 'to read' list.

          It didn't deserve the Nebula.  Or the Hugo.

          Patrick Rothfuss's The Wise Man's Fear deserved that honor (but wasn't nominated).  I suspect there are huge machinations going on behind the SFWA and WSFS scenes that continually prevent the best of the best from ever being nominated.  For all I know, Rothfuss didn't even want to be nominated.

          It is probably just like presidential nominations.  Was John Kerry the best Democrat of all the Democrats who could have beat G.W. Bush in 2004?   Is Mitt Romney really the best Republican of all the Republicans to challenge Obama this year?  Obviously there's more going on behind the curtain than we know about.

3+/- rating explained 
Rothfuss Review

snapshaught sphoto number 12

          Last week's (Aug 2012) Rodger Hodgson concert caused me to recall the circumstances surrounding my purchase of this rather ordinary white agate 1⅚" (48mm) sphere.

          In 1994, I read in a French magazine about an upcoming Alan Parsons Project concert in Freiburg, Germany, which was about a four hour drive from where I lived in Mons, Belgium.  I purchased tickets over the telephone from a woman who understood and spoke very little English (the European equivalent of Ticketmaster).  When they arrived in the mail the tickets were printed in German.

          On the day of the concert, I leisurely drove to the quaint city of Freiburg on the edge of the Black Forest with many hours to spare in order to be able to explore the city during daylight.  Upon arrival, it was immediately clear that there was no concert scheduled in the city's concert hall.  A local Freiburg citizen explained that although the word Freiburg was on the tickets, the rest of the information indicated the actual location of the concert was in Friedburg, Germany (oh, that pesky little missing 'd' meant I was, now, at least three hours away).

          With more than five hours before the concert was scheduled to begin, I headed north.  First it began to rain.  Then the traffic went from bad to worse.  And then it got dark.

          The next three hours and forty five minutes are blur-burned in my memory under a deeply carved label:  stupidest/most risky.  I foolishly drove beyond my brake's abilities, beyond the limits of my tires, faster than my high-beams could illuminate...and, occasionally, faster than my wipers (on their fastest setting) were able to clear the windshield.  In other words, I reached speeds in excess of 120 mph (200 kpm) and sometimes hydroplaned in the express lane of the German autobahn around Frankfurt, while high-beam flashing and passing hundreds of slower moving cars...in the dark.

          I arrived on time.  A little early even.  No problems (except for the tiring aftereffects of a huge amount of adrenaline).  Not even any close calls (which is less the result of my abilities and more because of luck—all it would have taken is a mechanical failure or one driver not using his side mirror and cutting in front of me).

          There was a very sparse crowd around the concert hall.  A Friedburg citizen said they heard the concert was cancelled but they were staying until they got an official word.

          I counted umbrellas:  less than two hundred.

          Glanced around the venue's exterior:  it would probably hold three thousand or more.  There were no buses or equipment trucks.  There were no lights on inside.

          I returned to the Friedburg citizen and asked if he could recommend a good local Gasthäus.  He did.  I got a room, a schnitzel, and many, too many, beers.

          The next day I found this sphere in a local store.

          I was unhappy with The Alan Parsons Project and avoided their concerts for several years.  Later I learned that Eric Woolfson wasn't the lead singer at any of their 1994 concerts, so I was less upset.  I saw them in Rochester, New York, as the opening act for Yes in 1998 with Eric Woolfson (which made that my lifetime-favorite concert).

Note:  The correlation between Rodger Hodgson (former lead singer of Supertramp) and The Alan Parsons Project was only made because I lump them together in time:  I consider them both progressive-rock favorites of mine from the late 1970s.

similar essays:

Sphere Series (ongoing)

Sunscreen and Insect Repellent Towelette

          Filed under:  Amazing, Highly Recommended, as well as Where has this been hiding all my life?

          I had occasion to use a SMARTSHIELD towelette yesterday.   We drove out to the forest to do some hiking, picnicking, birdwatching, and reading.

          (Why is that 'k' required when picnic is a verb?  It hurts my brain.  I'm going with picnicing from now on.)

          Since both the sun and mosquitoes were out in full force, we each used a combination sunscreen and insect repellent towelette.  I covered all my exposed skin.  Two hours of sun resulted in only a slight pink, so I would say the SPF30 worked.  Five mosquitoes successfully bit my back through my sweat-soaked shirt where I'd not wiped (and never thought to).  Not so great for my back, but it helped to prove the insect repellent was effective.

          Insect repellent:  cedarwood bark oil and lemongrass oil.  No DEET.

          Sunscreen:  2% avobenzone, 7.5% octinoxate, 5% octisalate, 1.4% octocrylene, .8% padimate (I know nothing about any of these chemicals, except that they prevented sunburn on my sun deprived derma).

          Also contains:  alcohol, aloe leaf extract, lavender oil, macadamia seed oil, wheat germ oil, linseed oil, and camphor oil.

snapshaught sphoto number 11

          How can one count the ways?

          To describe the woman whom I love, I could draw, paint, or take a photo of her...but I want more than to capture the moment.  I might abstract the artwork (as I did for myself) or even write a poem, but she connects better with the tangible and literal.

 

          I bought this 1¾ inch (47mm) multicromatic glass marble in 2003 when my relationship with Pam was in its embryonic days.

          We exchanged emails for about ten days and then phone calls and emails for another two weeks before agreeing to meet.  It was nice to get all our landmines and deal-breakers out of the way utilizing several modern marvels (today it's possible to never learn too late that you would've had a chance if you'd only known open-toed-shoes were a deal-breaker before meeting for coffee wearing Birkenstocks).

          One of the reasons our relationship is still vibrant and under full sail (I do love to mix my metaphors) is that when I bought this sphere, both of us were sufficiently aware of ourselves to not only be able to recognize our own landmines but to be truthful about them; ditto with our deal-breakers.

          Email just made it easier to write my biggest deal breaker is smoking (of any kind) and one of my big landmines:  I'm a voluntarily unemployed artist living in a mobile home on a pension.

          Maybe that was actually four (or five?) landmines in one.

          So we spent almost a month probing and divulging.

          And then we decided it was time to find out if the other kissed good enough; if we enjoyed similar levels of intimacy as well as the same type of fucking; and determine if we might-could become simpatico with things like the other's snoring, farts, and idiosyncrasies.

          ADDENDUM:  Obviously, I began with a plan to describe Pam, the person I'm in love with (and maybe include some of the why I love her) but that became derailed by the sphere itself, and the memories it holds.  Which is the whole reason I'm writing about some of my spheres.  So I left it as is.

similar essays:

Sphere Series (ongoing)

Rodger Hodgson Concert

          In my teens and twenties I was impressed by many musicians but only a small number became indelibly stamped in my brain-pan...affecting who I was, and was to become, with their artistry.  Tonight I (finally) got to see a concert by one of the last holdouts:  Rodger Hodgson.

          The three bands at the top of the heap were Yes, The Alan Parsons Project, and Supertramp.  Then there were the remainder of the top five:  Fleetwood Mac and Emerson, Lake, & Palmer.

          I've seen Yes three times (76, 98, 01) and was fortunate enough to see the band with the Anderson-Howe-Wakeman lineup (remove any one of them and it isn't my Yes).  In 98 I saw the only true The Alan Parsons Project (with Eric Woolfson).  And since Supertramp actually means the songs and voice of Rodger Hodgson...I've now seen all of my indelibly stamped top five*.

          * I saw ELP in 78 and ⅚th's of Fleetwood Mac in 94 (there should be more than ⅙th of a reduction for the loss of Stevie Nicks, there really should).