The Story Behind the Sign

A many few years ago there was a night spent in a drinking establishment with a handful of co-workers (the story begins).  A many few beers had gone down and we were walking back to the house of the nearest member of the intox-o-me-cated (mine).  As we were walking I noticed a sign stuck in the grass betwixt sidewalk and street.

Although I dis-recall what the sign was proclaiming (which may have more to do with beers than years) I remember it was just like a realtor's temporary signage—black metal angle iron frame jammed in the ground; top-edge about waist high.  So I said..."this sign is hil-air-i-ous.  I want it."  And I began to reach down.  My friend stopped me.  Instead of don't-steal-the-sign he said, "Let the strongest man here get that for you."  Then he bent, gripped the bottom edge of the metal sign, and lifted with his knees—not his back—in a practiced clean-and-jerk motion.

The sign didn't budge a millimeter.  Of course he sliced all eight fingers; six to the bone and the two pinkies only half-as-deep.

I only retrieved this memory from long-long term storage once I saw this (photo-shopped) picture while poaching for my last digital rendering:  sharp edges.

Epilogue:  we got him to the hospital, he got stitched and bandaged, his wife hated me from that night forward, because—obviously—it was all my fault, and...I still can't recall what the sign said.  I think it was something like:  PORN KILLS.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

veach st. glines said...

Ano..., I think they still sell them for a buck 3.80 on the other side of this sign. Tell ya what, I'll pick one up fer ya next tyme I'm sign time!

Anonymous said...

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veach st. glines said...

De Nada. I'm still lookin fer yer one horned horse. I'll get back to ya when I find one, kay?

Anonymous said...

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veach st. glines said...

Which error dost youse allude to my dearest poorly-translating ay-no? I continually commit errors all the tyme (intentionally and un). And, any old evening you'd like to discuss the multitude of wayz I (errr we) fumble that there infernal ball, I'm wide open...only you'd have'ta do two things:

1 - Translate this comment of mine (and I've not made that easy for a computer program to do).

2 - Stop hiding behind the anonymous mask.

Can ya do it? I doubt it.

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Anonymous said...

In my opinion, it is a lie.

veach st. glines said...

You unicorn hunters are definitely the loonies. And anonymous status guarantees that your opinion doesn't count.