Lyrics written/performed by Pamela Flores (my wonderful wife); music written, produced, and guitars performed by Tony Guerrero. All profits from this EP to be donated to the Portland Children's Hospital.
more El Diablitos:
Showing posts with label Portland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Portland. Show all posts
Cops Against Humanity (Portland Protest Edition)
just wondering to myself:
would I be a participant if
I still lived in Portland OR
still worked enforcing laws
if CS was in the wind and I
herd the crowd in the street
yes I would hope to be part
of the ‘change from within’
vicariously wondering that
as I watch (and judge) you
do Cops Against Humanity
because of you I no longer
will say: I’m a retired cop
while sitting in the comfort
just wondering to myself:
eight image excerpts by Portland artist Austin Granger at austingranger.com
more:
FRAMING
the acrid smell of that Chuck E Cheese sign
comes rushing back when I melt vinyl Hampton Inn wallpaper
to remind my mind of lost time with her
(like granite pedestals and grey skies) however, that's not what
this empty pain forces into focus
no — it's that wobbly fan trying to run
after she finally got it balanced on the police shields
seven image excerpts by Portland artist Austin Granger at austingranger.com
more:
The Ballad of Sancho y Panza (by El Diablitos)
For several years (prior to our
Portland-to-Vermont move) my wife was both the lyricist and the lead vocalist for El Diablitos. Her stage name was Pamela Flores. I made a video of their song,
The Ballad of Sancho y Panza, from my latest artwork (HEXGRID ⦇19 × 11⦈ ÷ 2 ≈ 105). All music, guitars and engineering are by the band's lead-honcho: Tony Guerrero.
more Pam:
snapshaught sphoto number 13
When I saw this 1¾" (45mm) sphere in a Portland, Oregon, antique mall I thought it might be a vintage "feathery" or "leathery" golf ball. The tag said: Antique ball, $39. I doubted it was a golf ball because of its size (slightly too large, compared to modern ones) and its price (too small for a nearly unused stitched leather 125 year old ball); I bought it anyway.
Although commonly confused with golf balls (by the unscrupulous or ignorant) this was actually used to play Fives—a type of handball game involving hand-made soft leather balls of this size, weight, and style of stitching—between the late-1800s and early-1900s mostly in Britain.
Also, it reminds me of the Monticello Antique Mall in Portland's Montavilla neighborhood, where we would regularly eat at The Observatory, a great restaurant (lifetime best: cheese plate and charcuterie plate and fry bread as a full meal for two or three).
similar essays:
Whatz The Story Behind That? 2
This faded, chenille-stem dancer with long yellow hair, a ribbon-tamborine, and a basket of flowers—most-probably born from the hands of a craftswoman in late 1940s-occupied Japan—caught my eye in a Montpelier antique shop because someone had painted PORTLAND, Ore, on the base of the 2½ inch (65mm) tall figurine, which tickled my coincidence-button since we've both been faded by life (the pipe-cleaner statuette and I) and we both once resided in Oregon but now live in Vermont. Together.
The phrase: occupied Japan causes me to ponder an unhappily married couple. They no longer fight. She succumbed for the well-being of her children and then patiently tolerated his choices and changes, walling her own desires away with as much fortitude as it took to not forget past mistakes (made by both) all-the-while resigning herself to a hopefully better future. When people ask her why, she answers: Shikata ga nai (ไปๆนใใชใ) It can't be helped. During both the war and the occupation, he acted as he always had: intentionally blunt and indignantly non-nuanced internment camps, fire-bombs, and hydrogen bombs, followed by pretending to have no knowledge of the magnitude of his actions, the availability of better options, and the mantra: she started it. He has not changed (if anything, he is worse today) while she has changed for the better (a lack of totalitarian-fascism will do that), but it took too many decades and her self-image is still less than positive.
I am intrigued by the figurine's label because in 1963, US state abbreviations were standardized as two-letter postal codes—Ore. became OR—which means the figurine was created between 1945 and 1952 (US occupation in Japan), spent some time before 1963 in Oregon and then ended up in Vermont by 2019.
- Select an item from your environment.
- Provide a picture, sketch, or other form of visual presentation.
- Tell its backstory (explain what it is, why you selected it, etcetera).
Dealer Review - Smart Center of Portland
Avoid salesman Mark Tower—everyone else is fantastic.
The best measure of a business is how they handle mistakes and problems.
Recap: I ordered and placed a $1,000 down payment on a 2014 Smart Cabriolet on the 4th day of February 2014. My salesman, Mark Tower, told me it would be delivered between late-April and mid-May, which was fine by me...who needs a convertible in Portland until May?
New bit: In April, Mark told me "Wampy" (nickname explained here) would be arriving in the port of LA on 16 May. I thanked him for his update and explained that I did not want, during dealer prep, to have a license plate holder screwed into the front plastic of my car because I intended to install a special mounting bracket. He assured me his service department would, "never install a front plate bracket without a customer request".
Memorial day came and went. No car. I'm impatient; so I asked for an update and Mark responded with (and I should note, he—like almost everyone under the age of 50—only communicates by phone text) "it's a 2015 and they aren't releasing them yet. I'll let you know when they ship it north. If you're not satisfied you'll get a full refund".
Angry at being treated this way (and confused...how did my 2014 become a 2015?) I complained to the General Manager who immediately rectified the situation by giving me a free Smart Cabriolet loaner until my car arrived.
Please note: I used the past tense form of 'arrive' in that last sentence because I only needed to drive their free loaner for six weeks; I picked up Wampeter on 10 July. I paid dealer invoice—$20,500—not the MSRP of $21,950. And, as you have already sussed, a front plate bracket had been installed, which they are going to fix (in a week or so) by swapping the front body panel from another new car in inventory.
Mercedes Benz of Portland/Smart Center of Portland, has many professional, wonderful, fantastic people. I worked with, and recommend working with, Andrew Plummer (GM), Dale Acelar, Crystal Barber, Ben Tait, and Mylee Burns. I recommend you avoid Mark Tower.
The best measure of a business is how they handle mistakes and problems.
Recap: I ordered and placed a $1,000 down payment on a 2014 Smart Cabriolet on the 4th day of February 2014. My salesman, Mark Tower, told me it would be delivered between late-April and mid-May, which was fine by me...who needs a convertible in Portland until May?
New bit: In April, Mark told me "Wampy" (nickname explained here) would be arriving in the port of LA on 16 May. I thanked him for his update and explained that I did not want, during dealer prep, to have a license plate holder screwed into the front plastic of my car because I intended to install a special mounting bracket. He assured me his service department would, "never install a front plate bracket without a customer request".
Memorial day came and went. No car. I'm impatient; so I asked for an update and Mark responded with (and I should note, he—like almost everyone under the age of 50—only communicates by phone text) "it's a 2015 and they aren't releasing them yet. I'll let you know when they ship it north. If you're not satisfied you'll get a full refund".
Angry at being treated this way (and confused...how did my 2014 become a 2015?) I complained to the General Manager who immediately rectified the situation by giving me a free Smart Cabriolet loaner until my car arrived.
Please note: I used the past tense form of 'arrive' in that last sentence because I only needed to drive their free loaner for six weeks; I picked up Wampeter on 10 July. I paid dealer invoice—$20,500—not the MSRP of $21,950. And, as you have already sussed, a front plate bracket had been installed, which they are going to fix (in a week or so) by swapping the front body panel from another new car in inventory.
Mercedes Benz of Portland/Smart Center of Portland, has many professional, wonderful, fantastic people. I worked with, and recommend working with, Andrew Plummer (GM), Dale Acelar, Crystal Barber, Ben Tait, and Mylee Burns. I recommend you avoid Mark Tower.
A free "stand in" loaner from the dealership
I have mixed emotions. Sorry and perturbed (to have been dealt this hand); combined with a bit of consternation (at feeling forced to—once again—gripe and complain like an ornery ass-hat) and pleased as a swine wallowing in his own ordure (at my current vehicular status). I eliminated names to protect the guilty and the innocent.
Smart Center Portland General Manager,I ordered a 2014 smart cabriolet in February. At the time, I was informed it would be built in April and delivered in late May. As the months passed, I was informed of the status of my vehicle, its VIN number, when it would arrive in the port of LA, and when it was expected to get to Portland.
On 23 May I received a quick note relating that since it was a 2015 model year that it was uncertain when it would be released and that I would be kept updated.
I wrote back expressing my huge concern; I was expecting my 2014's soon arrival and was now worried it might not be the model I wanted.
This was your salesman's reply:
"The only difference between the 2014 and 2015 Smart is a digit in the VIN. If its not the car I promised then you will have your deposit refunded no questions asked. I will let you know when Smart trucks the car North to us."
No acknowledgement that I ordered the current model year—not next year's—and no explanation.
Is this how all customer's are treated? If I had ordered an expensive Mercedes and the next model year arrived instead, would I have been provided full explanations or would I also just be encouraged to request a refund?
I want to understand this mix-up. Is it only mine or an entire shipment? Does this happen routinely when new model years come out or is it the first? Was the mistake made when the order was submitted or on the factory's end? What is your best educated guess on arrival?
I don't intend to wait until September. I ordered a convertible in February so that I could enjoy the top down this summer.
I do not want to have any more dealings with that salesman; he should focus his derisive 140 character messages on young tweeters and not on people who've already bought a car or three in the past.
Respectfully,
"The only difference between the 2014 and 2015 Smart is a digit in the VIN. If its not the car I promised then you will have your deposit refunded no questions asked. I will let you know when Smart trucks the car North to us."
No acknowledgement that I ordered the current model year—not next year's—and no explanation.
Is this how all customer's are treated? If I had ordered an expensive Mercedes and the next model year arrived instead, would I have been provided full explanations or would I also just be encouraged to request a refund?
I want to understand this mix-up. Is it only mine or an entire shipment? Does this happen routinely when new model years come out or is it the first? Was the mistake made when the order was submitted or on the factory's end? What is your best educated guess on arrival?
I don't intend to wait until September. I ordered a convertible in February so that I could enjoy the top down this summer.
I do not want to have any more dealings with that salesman; he should focus his derisive 140 character messages on young tweeters and not on people who've already bought a car or three in the past.
Respectfully,
Veach Glines
Mr. Glines,
I apologize for my salesman's seemingly emotionless, flippant, curt and non-helpful email message.
I
have reviewed the order and determined that indeed your order was
originally processed as a model year 2014 but was switched by the
factory due to the changeover
from one model year to the next. I am working with the smart brand
people, now, to see when we might be able to get the vehicle from the
port. I will let you know as soon as I hear from them.
Until
I can get a definitive answer, I would like to offer you a Smart
convertible to drive. Although it will not be the car you ordered, I am
hoping that it
would be a satisfactory short term solution.
Per
your request, I removed the salesman from your file and added a new salesman. I have cc’d him on this message and will make sure he connects with you right away
to update you and make arrangements for alternate transportation.
Thank you,
General Manager
Yesterday I met with the General Manager who gave me a 2013 smart cabriolet to use until my 2014 2015 arrives or they locate one in stock somewhere. Thank you smart center of Portland.
other grumpy snapperhead letters for perusal:
to amazon about a marketplace vendor
to an internet spammer (with great comments)
to a real jewelry company (gave me a free ring)
5 reasons why you should avoid Enterprise, National, Alamo Car Rental
Are you looking for work? I advise you to seek employment elsewhere. Many of these reasons are systemic or intrinsic to EAN Holdings policy and are not limited to the PDX area.
Maybe you are considering renting a vehicle and would like to be more informed. Here are five reasons why you should never rent from Enterprise, Alamo, or National car rental agencies:
1. Safety is never first. If a vehicle has a 'low tire pressure' indicator light on the dash the policy is to fill the low tire(s) and rent. Service agents never inspect low tires for damage unless a nail is so large it's impossible to miss or a leak so fast the tire won't hold air. Service agents never refill the windshield washer fluid until the reservoir is empty and either a customer or indicator light informs someone.
Normal preventative maintenance (oil change, rotate tires, etc) is done when the manual recommends except when a large demand for vehicles occurs (every holiday, busy weekends, etc) then side-lined vehicles are rented without being maintained.
Service equipment (gas pumps, vacuums, car washes, etc) are in a constant state of disrepair. For example: the automatic shut-off valve on the gas-hose nozzles don't always function. I got my clothes soaked with gasoline once (and they don't issue sufficient uniforms nor provide laundry service). I witnessed at least one "accidental" overflow every week and learned from a co-worker that small spills (less than 10 gallons) which everyone had caused/witnessed were inconsequential compared to his largest. He claimed that once he set a gas nozzle to fill a car, went to lunch, and returned after 30 minutes to at least 100 gallons of gasoline "accidentally" spilled into the environment, storm drain, his work space. (And no, neither OSHA nor the EPA were informed as the law requires. EAN does not abide by any law that would slow work or cost them money.)
2. EAN Holdings unlawfully discriminates against employees with disabilities. Under the Americans with Disabilites Act, it is the right of every disabled employee to inform their employer of their disability and request they make reasonable accommodations; the employer is legally required to make the accommodation if it does not impose an undue hardship on them.
I'm a person with Aspergers (now called Autism Spectrum Disorder) and felt very stressed by some of EAN Holdings scheduling policies. Not only how they handled ten-minute breaks and lunches, but how I (everyone) was, at times, scheduled to work until closing (either midnight or 1 a.m.) and then scheduled a morning shift the next day. Employees rarely work the same shift. In a normal five day work-week I was scheduled to begin at four different times.
I informed the head manager as well as both supervisors of my disability and requested they make some scheduling accommodations to reduce my stress. From that day on I was scorned, put off, talked down to, and treated disdainfully by every manager and supervisor. For many weeks, whenever I would mention the unaddressed request to my chain-of-command, they told me they were "still looking in to it." This refusal to accommodate my request was—ultimately—the final straw which caused me to resign.
3. Enterprise doesn't care about their employees, only about increasing company profit. When I began working hourly for National/Alamo in January, both were union companies. I and all of my co-workers (some of whom serviced cars for their entire adult lives) were 40 hour-a-week full time employees eligible for 1.5x overtime pay, holiday pay, vacation pay, med/dental benefits, 401K, life insurance, etc.
However, Enterprise's hourly employees aren't unionized and—consequently—are all part time. They each are scheduled to work less than 32 hours a week and are eligible for no benefits except those mandated by law. All Enterprise hourly employees are youth who live at home/go to school, adults working a second job, or seniors augmenting their pensions/social security.
Although the exact same cars are driven in-to and out-of our respective service islands (every day I cleaned cars rented by Enterprise and their service agents cleaned cars rented by National and Alamo) we never worked together at the same service islands, and did not share break rooms, supplies, or equipment.
In early March, the contract between the Teamsters Union and EAN Holdings expired. National and Alamo hourly/union employees have been working without a contract since then. Negotiations are now considered "stalled." EAN Holdings wants to eliminate the union and make all National and Alamo hourly employees part-time with no benefits like their Enterprise hourly employees. Obviously, the union wants to increase the benefits for their members without going on strike. They are at an impasse. Before I resigned the shop steward informed me, "it doesn't look good for the union."
This was the penultimate reason for my resignation. I wanted to be the first rat off the sinking ship. I enjoy working outside, listening to music all day while I clean cars. I quickly got hired to do the exact same job (in the exact same union) at a competing car rental company.
4. Everyone is either a thief or is extremely ethically challenged. If you rent a vehicle from Enterprise, Alamo, or National and—in your rush to catch a plane—accidentally leave one of your cherished personal belongings in the trunk, under a seat, or in the glove box...rest assured it wasn't lost for long. An employee found it and wears/uses/sold it. There is an unenforced policy outlining how to turn-in found items. When a lost item is found, it is supposed to be turned in to a manager and the company holds it for a few months before it is donated. I turned-in items when I found them (almost every day), even after I discovered some of the items I had previously found had been thrown into the trash (maybe a manager called and the owners of those shoes or that jacket told him to discard them). I witnessed so many lost items taken home by drivers, service agents, and even managers that I could not recount them all. Some of the more noteworthy I watched people take home were: suitcases, a sleeping bag, sporting equipment, jewelry, and watches. Every day there would be more than one pair of sunglasses or prescription glasses found. Umbrellas usually got thrown away immediately because locals of the Northwest don't use umbrellas, only tourists do. The pile of cigarette lighter-to-USB chargers was so large (because most employees had stolen their fill) it had to be thrown away on a monthly basis or it would fill the found-this-but-have-no-use-for-it shelf (where I put a laptop printer six weeks before I resigned. It probably still resides there.)
5. Lies, dishonesty, and 'fudging numbers' is encouraged, condoned, and incentivized. Every supervisor lies to every subordinate (usually to encourage unsafe acts or to speed production at the expense of quality). Every employee lies to his supervisor (usually to cover damage/mistakes, poor performance, or anything which could reduce the employee's bonus). Every sales "rental" agent is dishonest to every customer (because their bonus is tied to selling upgrades or insurance). Every manager fudges his numbers to his superiors (because his bonus is linked to renting every available vehicle and only keeping reserved vehicles on the lot).
I was lied to by my manager when he hired me and every time I spoke with him after that day. I only learned the truth about how my bonus was computed after I resigned and spoke with HR.
I felt compelled to be dishonest to a manager because he required me to multitask in order to comply with the required number of vehicles needed (worst case: one car every 6 minutes during a three-hour period). So I let a gasoline nozzle go unsupervised while I vacuumed only to discover one overflowing when I eventually smelled fumes. I know that I caused over ten gallons to spill on that occasion (based on how much the nozzle could dispense and how many minutes I worked without remembering to check). When I informed my manager of the spill, his first words were, "It wasn't too bad, right? Probably only a couple gallons? And you cleaned it up with the spill response kit?" I gave him the answers he wanted to hear. My third "yes" was mostly true. I tried to clean it all up. Except for the large amount that floated on a nearby stagnant puddle, which drained into a nearby green space and storm drain. Absorbing several gallons of gas floating on 300 gallons of ditch-puddle water is impossible to accomplish with three carbon pillows and a few dozen carbon pads.
I assisted several times in fudging management's numbers by moving cars where I was told to move them. They were ready to rent, serviced and "clean" (no EAN cars are ever really clean after they have more than 3,000 miles or so—that's not possible in less than 6 minutes). I moved them into storage/maintenance lots so they could tell their supervisors that their lots were empty.
I witnessed rental agents lie to customers every day. The local favorite is, "You really should get the additional insurance because if you're in an accident, say, and weren't nearby, so had to get it towed to a shop in a small town; without the additional coverage, the entire time the car is being repaired you'd be liable for the daily rental, which could be weeks! You don't want to be liable for weeks of rental while it's being repaired do you?" A lie that many, many, people fall for.
Not every car rented by Enterprise, Alamo, or National is unsafe and dirty—any more than every EAN employee is a liar, a thief, and/or discriminates against people with disabilities and behaves immorally or unethically.
Why should you apply to work for a company like this?
Why would you do any business with a company like this?
I personally know of at least two rental car companies who don't permit any of these behaviors and which will terminate an employee who steals, lies, allows or performs unsafe acts, discriminates, or behaves in an unethical manner. Take your business or job application to a company with good business practices. If you think I must be just a disgruntled employee and choose to not follow my advice...don't say I didn't try to warn you.
spring haz sprung
I know many of my fellow countrymen are still slogging thru the wintry mix and need to still use scoop-like implements to move blankets of snow from their path.
Please know that I empathized with you today, while I and my cat wandered the forest trails on our first cat hike of the year. It was in the low 60's (16° C), clear and sunny.
We met this little green fella and saw five deer.
Tula's Trousseau
I created this advertisement (for my fiancรฉe), which will be published in the next issue of a local quarterly belly dance magazine called From the Hip.
Oregon Will Recognize Same-Sex Marriages From Other States (Effective Immediately)
(full article here)
I find it strange that my home state of Oregon, a state which seems at first (and second) glance to be quite socially and economically open-minded, is still constrained by yesteryear's bias; a prejudice which quite a few other states have already scraped off their shoes. But then I drive out of the Portland metropolitan area into the rest of the state.
There are verylittle-to-no social, political, intellectual, religious, or economic differences between the average resident who lives smack dab in the middle of Bumfuk, Oregon and his mouth breating cousin who lives in any meth-crazed portion of Arizona or Arkansas. Much of the time there seems to be just barely a majority of progressive-minded voters in Portland's Multnomah and Washington Counties to out-vote the remaining intolerant millions—who can't stand anyone who doesn't think, act, or look exactly the way they do.
Eventually we will make it legal. Maybe next year.
Because they are dieing. Of old age. And (many of) their grandchildren are less close-minded, less blindly religious, and less bothered by funny looking weird folks.
Because they are dieing. Of old age. And (many of) their grandchildren are less close-minded, less blindly religious, and less bothered by funny looking weird folks.
Wasn't Pam already on the small screen?
Yes. She was also an extra on Portlandia (Season 3, Episode 11). She is on-screen, tending the campfire, between minutes 9:57 and 10:59 (when Fred and Carrie convince the Mayor to return to Portland). It is available at this time on DVD or download-viewable on Netflix.
My paramour is on the big screen
 |
| click image for trailer |
My fiancee is a bona fide movie star.
So You Want to Deliver Newspapers
Although I can only address specifics of Portland's The Oregonian (where I've worked for many months) these practices and routines are clearly indicative of all the nation's print-news companies:
"Contractors". Like thousands of other companies trying to cut corners, all delivery personnel are considered self-employed contractors. Accordingly...no taxes, social security, or medicare/medicaid are deducted; there are also no unemployment, workers compensation, or health-care benefits; and no expenses are reimbursed (which especially includes no vehicle, gasoline, or mileage expenses). The 'contract employee' label is a legal loophole which has become newspaper industry standard regardless of the IRS definition.
No Days Off. 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no overtime, no holidays (in fact, holidays = extra work). If, for any reason, a delivery person fails to come to work and does not arrange for, or hire, an alternate delivery person, that person is terminated.
Pre-delivery Routine. Between 88-92% of the time (on average: 90 out of 100 days) there are one, two, or even three extra advertisements or additional sections (called inserts) which must be placed inside the newspaper at the station. Most papers then need to be folded/rolled and placed into a plastic bag (exceptions are papers going into tubes). Obviously, the amount of time it takes to accomplish these pre-delivery tasks varies greatly, and depends on the following variables:
- Number of route changes (called "stops and starts"—more on this later)
- Number of hands stuffing, folding, bagging, and loading the car (one assistant = 1/2 the time).
- Number of papers being delivered.
- Number of inserts to be inserted.
- Thickness/weight of the final paper with its inserts in respect to the size of the bag.
- Interior size of the car papers are going to being loaded into and delivered from.
- Wild card: Occasionally a free product sample must also be included.
Zombie Jigsaw Puzzle Routes. Every route is laid out (more or less) with specific instructions for every customer. For example:
Turn left on SE Custers Last Circle
5 tube 19430
9 porch 19904
17 20566
26 dbl bag! 21218
U-turn at SE 451st Avenue
1 tube&bag 23619
13 21217
20411
Pass Grocery Store
7 porch ONLY! 19601
Because every current delivery route has been fitted together from the shrinking corpses of yesteryear's large plump routes, the address instructions are patchy and filled with errors. The first weeks are spent fixing these errors and memorizing the route. And re-memorizing.
Stops and Starts. Every day the route changes. First, a daily list is provided which reflects the routes "stops" (customers who are going on vacation / moving out / died of old age / learned to use the internet) and "starts" (customers who are returning from vacation / moved in / are feeling much better / forgot how to use the internet). These changes must be made in pencil every night during the pre-delivery hours because they will be changing again very soon (some customers stop and re-start their paper every week or so). The second way the routes change is based on the different possible subscriptions and the different products which the paper publishes in order to market itself (...meeellttttiiiinng...).
Daily/Sunday = every day.
Weekenders = Friday, Saturday & Sunday only.
Sunday+Tuesday = the two days when the paper is mostly coupons.
Weekday = for businesses closed on weekends.
Bulk = vending boxes.
Community News = placed on selected porches on Saturday evenings or Sunday mornings in an attempt to lure these people to subscribe.
Food Day = a free product with coupons thrown every Monday night / Tuesday morning at every non-subscribing household on the route (unless they call and complain).
MIX Magazine = a monthly subscription-type magazine filled with articles about local locations and events (at least as many free ones are provided as are sold...the witch is always marketing itself).
TV Guides = additional subscription-only inserted on Saturdays.
Other Newspapers = Also want the bi-weekly newspaper from a nearby city? For a fee, it can be delivered to your door with The Oregonian. (...meeelting...)
What all this means. Although there isn't one, a "typical" route might look like:
Mon, Wed, Thr Tue Fri and Sat Sun and holidays MIX days
Number of papers: 200 225 250 275 +50 mags
Number of Cmty News: 75
Number of Food Days: 300
Number of hours a day: 3 7½ 3½ 10 3
Number of "starts": 2 3 1 2
Number of "stops": 3 2 2 1
Number of complaints: 2 0 1 3
Number of tips: 1 1 0 2
Number of miles driven: 20/day 40 20/day 25/day 20
Number of hours driving: 2/day 5 2½ 3/day
Payment is NOT per paper. Instead, it is determined by averaging the number of papers delivered (Daily and Sunday are separate) and multiplying by one's contracted amount of pay. In the above example—with a daily payment rate of $2.20, a Sunday payment rate of $0.45, and a standard rate for the other products:
Monthly hours: about 120 hours
Monthly pay: about $850.00
Monthly tips: about $40 (during the holidays this could/will be larger)
Monthly fees/fines: about $40 (works out nicely...that the company gets almost all your tips)
Monthly mileage: about 700 miles (a car that gets 30 miles/gal will see this reduced because of slow driving and idle-engine use = 30 gal of gas @ $4.00/gal = $120.00 month.
Hidden Fees: Oh yes. Of course there are hidden fees. Everyone is required to pay for their portion of the rental space, where the station is located and where they are required to work during the pre-delivery hours. Also, it is a requirement for everyone to purchase those flimsy bags which the news papers and other products are delivered in. And, even though you may have fantastic insurance of your own, there is a mandatory supplemental insurance.
Fines. Every time you deliver a paper to the wrong address, or someone steals it after you put it at the end of their driveway, or the wind blows it into the next yard . . . you are fined. If a customer complains about getting their paper late more than once? You are fined. If a person complains about getting a free paper they previously asked not to receive? Fined. If a customer fails to get his TV Guide on Saturday or her free Food Day on Tuesday? Yup, fined again. All of these costs are deducted from your paycheck.
Why? Would anyone deal with this incredibly bad and obviously unfair working environment?
Who would agree to continue to work for a place where—when the company provides the papers over an hour later than necessary and it's too foggy and the paper is larger than a phone book (so huge they won't all fit in your car and you have to take two trips) which causes some customers to get their papers late and a few of them call and complain—YOU are held accountable...and fined?
This is a complaint-based job. When someone makes a late complaint, deliver their paper first...from that day forward; if someone complains of a wet paper, tie the ends of a double bag on their paper...from that day forward. No extra compensation for the extra work—just extra fines if they complain again in the future.
Who would work here? This is a break-down of the people who work for the wicked witch:
- 25% - Dorothy's: People supplementing their income (like those on social security or with unexpected court-ordered child support payments). Every Dorothy—including myself—claims they are working here only until things get better. One "short termer" has been doing this for a decade. (...no place like home...no place like...)
- 20% - Toto's: Illegal immigrants (no one checks documents or social security numbers—even if they speak/understand no English). (...and your mangy little dog too...)
- 20% - Tin Men: People with a blot on their work history (not just parolees...but anyone who's been fired from a previous job or two; no one asks for a rรฉsumรฉ or references—even if they're covered in prison tattoos). (...the tinsmith forgot to give me a heart...all hollow...)
- 15% - Munchkins: Younger adults attending college and/or needing an income which will never intrude on their 9-5 (many of these housewife's and househusband's days are devoted to childcare). (...follow the yellow brick road...)
- 10% - Flying Monkeys: These old timers have been delivering papers their entire life. They are wicked-fast, eerily complaint proof and receive amazing tips. They are the frogs who never jump out of the cook-pot because the temperature has been ever-so-slowly increased. (Every one of these monkeys who didn't start a 401k decades ago or payed into social security...can, obviously, never quit.) (...take care of those ruby slippers, I want those most of all...fly!..fly!..)
- 10—20% - Cowardly Lions: People with mild to severe OCD. Where else can one get paid to count and NEATLY fold, stack, and bag and count? Can't stop counting? It may be debilitating in any other job, it's an asset here! (...come to think of it, forty winks wouldn't be bad...)
- 10—20% - Scarecrows: Kids with no experience and very little ethics or values who come to work high and stay high (many of these 'kids' are biologically middle-aged...less tweekers, more stoners...which might only be because this is Portland). (...I could think of things I've never thought before...then I'd sit, and think some more...)
- 5% - Wizards: Those who stuck, carved out a niche, and eventually became salaried supervisors or station foremen. (...pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
