Imagine an ability to measure yourself

 

How would that happen? 

I played the computer game Myst when it first came out.  After many days of puzzle solving I got "stuck" and could not progress until I "escaped" from an underground mine.  I attempted escaping for hours and then I quit the game entirely.  Online discussion boards were available to explain every aspect of the game, however, I considered that would be cheating myself.  

Playing thru the 25th Anniversary edition of the game (with a commensurate number of "games" stored in my memories after a quarter-century) I found myself easily escaping the mine.  And wondering to myself: 'How did I not realize (back when I got stuck in the 1990s) how to pay attention to everything happening to my avatar in that mine?'

The game did not get easier.  I had become more proficient at puzzle solving.  On my own.  Without cheating myself.

CJ the X (in his video titled: 6 shapes of god) is so much better at communicating what his brain has experienced, than .

When you listen to his feature-length lecture the first time, you might not be able to understand everything in context (or in metaphor).  But, on second watch, (eyes closed) you may become aware that not every philosopher worth your attention is a professor employed in academia.  There are highly capable people available to guide you toward how to better measure your progress in this game; how to not want to cheat yourself; and how to escape the mind, or mine.

Course Curriculum: Trifecta/Try-perfect/Tripe feck't (Go On, Part 3)

 

        There are no requirements as-to order.  Review Part 2 of the Go On curriculum; or, start Part 1 of the course; or choose to keep wading deeper from this point.  (Forewarning:  the bottom slopes-away quickly and the current sweeps—be prepared to climb out at some point further-along the bank if you aren't experienced.)

 

        This introduces the order and appropriate usage of the basic three Go-On-ing elements:  Brain chemistry [Λ lambda in Greek]; Audio choreography [໑ one in Khmer]; and Visual connectivity [ᛁ isaz in Runic].

 

         For someone to experience the artwork (for the first or-the-umpteenth time) they must understand that every 'medium of recognition-perception' is a feedback loop—located approximately at the midpoint beneath their dark lenses and betwixt their padded headphones.  While eyes, ears, noses, tongues, and fingertips have all grown accustomed to radar-antenna duty—scanning distant horizons for threats, foods, and mates—brain programming has "manned" the war-room, logistics-center, and marketing department.
 
        Brains require an incentive to turn attention away from war-room/logistics/marketing.  To focus (successfully) inward, brains need assurances that the radar-antenna will only temporarily be placed in stand-by mode.  And.  White&Grey both want an excuse to take it easy and not work so hard; the Matter couple is all-about economical utilization of resources.  Require/Need/Want.
 
        As outlined in Pallet/Pallet/Palette on the Third Test Page, after swallowing 30mg of CBD and 30mg of D8 with caffeine, vitamins, and minerals (Λ)—get comfortable somewhere secure-able and non-disturb-able, for a minimum of four hours.  Close your eyes and listen to the 'aural-preface' of this choreography (໑).  The first hour-or-two is not geared towards visual connectivity (ᛁ).

 

 

 

 

 

         At this point, you should begin to engage all-three basic Go On elements:  brain, eyes (ᛁ), and ears.

        At some point (now is always the best time to choose to . . .) begin to listen to a 21-song-loop you have designed for yourself, based on your level of awareness and personal-preponderances.

        Of course this requires headphones; it could not be Go On-ing without headphones going on.

        If you have not yet attained sufficient ccc-level (composer/choreographer/chemist) it is encouraged to attempt to last-thru the entirety of the two-hour Version 1.4 of Go On artwork experience.

        Let your you relax [it is only four hours] the world, from your POV, is safe [it will resume sooner than you will soon want it to] this experience is a necessary (am I the only one who spells it with an un-necessiary I?) respite from the weight of the decades . . . to come . . . before . . . explore . . .  

        These visuals are merely safe, experimental, place-holders.  Your imagination is yours to do with as you desire.

        Optional-additional equipment:  KASINA-brand of light-therapy and media-storage device; virtual reality headset; notebook / 3x5 cards & pen; et cetera.

        Classroom-students:  Your homework assignment is to describe (in any means you prefer) what connections-new-to-you were strongly stamped into your memory from the third-act [between songs 14 and 21] and how your note-taking was involved or avoided.

        Extra-credit:  Incorporate something from this "brain hack" art-tickle into your 3rd-Act connection description:

 

Now, take a short break from Go On-ing:

ccc in 2-D

laugh instead of just giggle

an old story that smacks (hard)

Course Curriculum (Go On, Part 1)

 

           Core coarse chores course curriculum (the first unnecessary words were left in-place because it's one of the ways to both differentiate, while—at the same time—showing how much our minds are different).  Another way to display the (obvious to me) different control mechanisms of my (Asperger's) brain/mind and yours is to point out that I am aware the phrase which begins after the first comma contains incorrect grammar.  I should have either used two gerunds: 'of differentiating while ... showing'.  Or none: 'both differentiate and ... show'.

 

          A third way would be to share some unimportant things from the pile of shit-I-have-coached/coaxed/coerced-into-my-mind.  This could also be an answer to:  "If someone wanted to begin studying Philosophy [with no desire to afford obtain a diploma, because they felt no need to prove (to others) they spent money and time learning about knowledge} where would that someone start?" 

          Start where you want.  But.  Maybe you might want to start at a point which allows you to gradually come to understand why you want—might GO ON wanting in the near future—to keep knowing which allows you to know more.  To understand why you know what you think you already might have known. 

         

 

          PS: When you get tangled in the flow of investigating one, or many, of these essays; pause and listen to some (or many) of the rhythms compiled in the last video.  Or just give yourself some space to locate the knots and time to grasp the rest.   It really is as simple as meditating listening without falling asleep.

All About You

 

          Above all, do not lie to yourself.  The person who lies to themself (and listens to their own lie) comes to a point that they can not distinguish the truth within them or around them and so loses all respect for themselves and for others.  And—having no respect—they cease to love.

                                        - Fydor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

 

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

(chorus)

 

          In 2011 this song, by Gotye, Somebody That I Used To Know, quickly became an earworm grating on earbones.  Walk Off The Earth's cover was less grating because my eyebones were entertained by the unique performance.

          Since that time, I've found myself playing spot-the-narcissist frequently enough that, in 2021, I was awarded the Advanced Narcissist Hunter merit badge (a hand behind a back with two crossed fingers and a lighted gas lamp hanging over the wrist). 

 

          If you, dear reader, are struggling to understand (feigning confusion)—then, bless your black heart—you're the narcissist Dostoevsky and Gotye are describing.

 

 

 

 

 

more:

 

 Don't Act Like a Nail and Complain About Hammers

 

Three Ways to Identify

Feeling is the secret - Neville Goddard

 

 

          Lay down.  Get comfortable.  Play this 40-minute audio book (watching the video is not needed and headphones are not needed).

          If I were teaching an intermediate-level pass-fail course called:  Conscious Awareness: Meditation versus Mindfulness versus Prayer this would be a foundational class.  I would play the audio book in a classroom with everyone laying on a yoga mat (doors locked, lights off, phones put away) and then ask everyone to discuss.  Students would be given a week to submit an essay detailing their perspectives.  Just like many foundational classes, passing this class would be mandatory to enroll in more advanced classes. 

          Intermediate-level because there are some prerequisites.  One needs to already know about consciousness, brain chemistry, physiology, religious philosophy, and meditation.  Also, it is important to understand that the author adds quotes from the christian bible (as do other important philosophers) and why it is extremely valuable information none-the-less.  In fact, it is crucially important to discuss the various biblical quotes in a non-religious context (e.g. the reason Goddard uses the term 'prayer' instead of the more appropriate term: 'meditation').

How to Begin, Middle, and End

 

 

          If you don't have ten minutes to listen to this man's advice, now, today, then--whenever you learn that I died--find ten minutes at that point and listen to it.  And take everything he says during this TED talk as if some asshole you once called by my name was claiming this was the one piece of advice I wish I had gotten earlier in my life and the one piece of advice I wish I had passed along more often.  To you. 

Up-beat dance-song (Modern Talking - 50 Cent mashup)

 

Khruangbin (now wedged into 2021's neverquitlistening mix)

Drop into meditation. Go on. 

Wonderfully Obscure Song by Reunion

          Occasionally a 'one-hit wonder' becomes a 'classic'.  This one never did.  I loved this song so much in 1974 that I tried to write it all down and memorize the lyrics—just from repeat radio listening's.  Today, a plethora (today's word boys and girls!) of lists are a click away:  "Lost One Hit Wonders;" "Classic Golden Oldies;" or "Deep Album Tracks" and this song is almost certainly not on any of them.

          Thirteen years later, R.E.M. released It's the End of the World As We Know It (it's time I had some time alone) and the rambling poetic stream of prose, names, situations, and its long staccato-list of ways the world has changed (e.g: ... team reporters baffled, Trumped, tethered, cropped ...) reminded me of Reunion's Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me) and my Asperger's re-reminded me to ask those people in my vicinity if they ever remembered it.  And I've occasionally asked more and more people ever since then.

          Not one person has ever replied 'yes'.

          I can't be the last person to remember this song with a smile!  (Can I?)

⩴ The Reason to Make Goals ⩴ We Become What We Think About ⩴

 

 

 Earl Nightingale, 1956

 "The progressive realization of a worthy ideal"

 

 

 

 

more good advice:

 

politicians

 

Beau

A Music Playlist Keeping sAd (senility Alzheimer's dementia) Away

          This 62-song playlist is me memory-flexing and sAd combatting*—which occurred not only during the exercise of digging, stacking and bolting shiny-bits to shadow-bytes (resulting in a spiral staircase climbing thru my years) but, hopefully, re-occurs during my future listen-thru's.

          If you don't already know: my biggest fear is losing the me of my memories.  Worse, would be to not be cognizant of it happening as it's happening—to lose and never miss things that I consider intrinsic raises my hackles.  The reason this doesn't feel like an unreasonable apprehension is because my elderly female ancestors succumbed to sAd and all my male ancestors died before they were elderly (so even though I'm now officially an elder, I have no way to know if ...metaphor about shitting one's pants and wondering where's that smell coming from?...).

          I'm turning 62 years old.  With emphasis on that last word.  But.  I have an extra skip in my step (♬appy ♪ay to-me) because I'm the first in my male ancestral line to make it to gov't-bonafide old'nuff to collect monthly social security retirement benefits.    

          Since so many of my memories are nostalgically-attached to music, I set a few guidelines to make composing this playlist a challenge:

• One song—released during each year—which had a memorable impact on me.
• First priority has been given to songs listened to repeatedly during the year of their release.
• Alternatively, songs "discovered" after their release are listed in the year of their discovery.
  
• Last resort: placing a song in the year of its release when it was memorable later (e.g. 1959).
• No song for the current year (a 63-song playlist would bruise my design aesthetic). 
• Sixty-two songs / 62 different artists (solo-artists/samples, separate from their bands, allowed).
• Describe at least one memorable personal first from each year.
• Include a snippet of lyric relevant to then-me (which doesn't have to be related to the personal first).

          After the playlist was finished, I created an intermediate memory tool artwork / story-line to memorize it. 

          List to this entire playlist (4 hours 20 minutes) on YouTube by clicking the image.  Or—for those less interested in the full dose of this elderly creative philosopher's flashbacks—cherry-pick from the below titles/artists: 

1959  Theme From a Summer Place, Percy Faith Orchestra - my first year alive (no memories) this was played on family's 45rpm record player (for years) to put me to sleep

. . .

 

1960  Alley Oop, Hollywood Argyles - my first interaction with a newspaper (referred to as the Sunday Funny's in our house) I enjoy the ones that don't require words to understand

he lived a long time ago

 

1961  The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Wimoweh), The Tokens - my first "I understand all the words" non-nursery rhyme song (not easy replacing the itisy bitsy spider)

in the jungle ... near the village ... hush my darling

 

1962  Loco-motion, Little Eva - my first car trips; car seats don't exist so I stand between the seats on 'the hump' (in the backseat) and my new-born infant sister (Nanett) is held in someone's arms

my little baby sister can do it with me

 

1963  Dominique, Soeur Sourire - my first awareness of foreign countries and different languages, which I learn to translate (poorly) in high-school freshman French class (ten years later)

s'en allait tout simplement (over the land, he simply went or went simply)

1964  You Really Got Me, The Kinks - my first sleepwalking nightmare (a giant clown swinging in the leafless trees behind my house like they are the jungle-gym monkey bars on the playground)

you got me so I can't sleep at night

 

1965  King of the Road, Roger Miller - my first trip by passenger train (sleeper-compartment Massachusetts to Iowa and back, with my mother and three-year-old sister)

 third boxcar, midnight train

1966  Nowhere Man, The Beatles - my first moves; new schools, and new friends are disappearing faster than my baby teeth; new step-dad (three different schools and four different houses this year)

knows not where he's going to

1967  Windy, The Association - my first visit to a big city (Chicago, 'the windy city') this song played in heavy rotation on the radio (communal pickle barrel restaurant; dinner with step-dad's friends; their petulant child's name: Wendy)

who's reachin out to capture a moment

1968  Spooky, Classic IV - my first pet hamster, which I named Spooky [given to me, dead, on xmas eve by my parents; it's replacement was Spooky II (Spooky VI died in 1979) my parents were not intending to teach me Memento Mori, at 10]

just like a ghost, you've been a hauntin

 

1969  Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin), Sly & The Family Stone - [my first Mondegreen] my first crush (Janice Brailer, not her twin Janet) and I listened to this song at my first spin-the-bottle party

thank you for the party but I could never stay 

 

1970  No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature, Guess Who - my first awareness that adults were incompetent hypocrites unaware they're terrible at raising children (the call's coming from inside the house)

lonely feeling, deep inside; find a corner, where I can hide

 

1971  Changes, David Bowie - my first after school job ($1.25 hr) and my first overt disregard for adults 

So I turned myself to face me (turn and face the strange) ... don't wanna be a richer man

 

1972  Father and Son, Cat Stevens - my first artworks are created (stones glued and painted to look like people)

you're still young (that's your fault) ... I am old, but I'm happy ... think a lot ... your dreams may not

 

1973  Jenny, Chicago - my first verbal and physical abuse / assault (beat-up by my summer-job manager)

sad but true, z' always someone waiting just ta shit on you

1974  Seagull, Bad Company - my first rejection (of many) from girls I ask to "go out with me"

fly all around 'til somebody shoots you down

1975  Letting Go, Paul McCartney/Wings - my first kiss after a date (in my parent's car, in her driveway)

ahh, she tastes like wine, she's human bein so devine

 

1976  Livin Thing, Electric Light Orchestra - my first sexual encounter (oral, in a rented canoe)

sailin away on the crest of a wave ... slippin an slidin (it's a givin thing) floating downstream

 

1977  Never Going Back Again, Fleetwood Mac - my first serious alcohol poisoning (two-day hangover)

been down one time, been down two time

 

1978  Peg, Steely Dan - my first discovery of what became a life-long passion (double-feature art films)

it will all come back to you; it's your favorite foreign movie

 

1979  Pop Muzik, M - my first cat (white with spots of caramel-orange, named Popcorn, nicknamed him 'Pop') and my first college law class (based on my awareness that I probably won't be able to feed myself with an art degree)

wanna be a gun slinger, don't be a rock singer, eanie meany miny mo

 

1980  Emotional Rescue, Rolling Stones - my first art gallery show (UW-Milwaukee student show)

promises were never made to keep

 

1981  ABACAB, Genesis - my first co-habitation, first marriage (immediately followed by my first pregnancy)

think I'm to blame? (you want it - you got it) or reflection of someone else's name

 

1982  Shock the Monkey, Peter Gabriel - my first child is born (my son, Bram, was such a beautiful purple)

there is one thing you must be sure of, I can't take any more

 

1983  True, Spandau Ballet - my first overseas assignment (18 months in Korea)

always in time, but never in line for dreams

 

1984  Hold Me Now, Thompson Twins - my first breakup (and first failed marriage counseling and first amicable divorce)

look at our life now, we're tattered and torn; we fuss and we fight and delight in the tears

 

1985  Something About You, Level 42 - my first illicit affair (fraternizing with a junior soldier was forbidden)

making mistakes is a part of life's imperfections ... is it so wrong to be human

 

1986  Holding Back the Years, Simply Red - my first adrenaline fueled chase, while driving a military police sedan (eventually caught the stolen TransAm after 35+ miles; driver ran into a Georgia forest swamp and got away)

I'll keep holdin on, I'll keep holdin on

 

1987  Rhythm of Love, Yes - my first assignment as an undercover investigator (black-market and drug suppression team) and my initial advanced-training application was rejected (for Apprentice CID Agent school)

innocence no answer ... in this situation: I have found you in

 

1988  Orange Crush, REM - my first physical signs of mental stress/anxiety (back muscle seizure / heart palpitations / arrhythmia / incapacitating migraine / one mini-stroke)

I've had my fun and now it's time to serve your conscience overseas

 

1989  She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals - my first calculated insubordination (my letter to the MG) and my subsequent first opportunity to witness a miracle (BFR)

waitin round's killin me (runnin out of time) things go wrong, they always do

 

1990  The Power, SNAP! - my first foam-art sculpture (fade to black) and my first art commission

sgettin'sgettin'sgettin'sgettin kinda hectic

 

1991  Crazy, Seal - my first too-odd-for-words investigation (false rape allegation which hinged on a coincidence)

but we're never gonna survive unless we get a little ... crazy

 

1992  Walking on Broken Glass, Annie Lennox - my first assignments travelling* throughout Europe as a protective service agent (bodyguard for NATO commander in 20+ countries)

know that I might bleed ... nothing left to fear ... doing really well my dear

 

1993  Cose Della Vita, Eros Ramazzotti (Italian: the matters of life) - my first recognition of favorite cities and places to visit (Musée d'Orsay in Paris; as well as Florence, Venice, Siena, Naples and smaller cities throughout Italy)

all the memories we’ve had ... I want to remember, I can never forget

 

1994  Your Ghost, Kirsten Hersh/Michael Stipe - my first offensive driving course (Nürburgring, DE)

i-think-last-night-you were driving circles around me

 

1995  Carnival, Natalie Merchant - my first career self-sabotage [Although I hated being a protective service agent (labelled* babysitting grown-ass adults by a co-worker) I loved the travel; I decide to return to criminal investigation supervision]

have I been blind-have I been lost-inside myself and my own mind   

 

1996  Real World, Matchbox 20 - my first assignment as a unit commander (Special Agent in Charge)

well I'd shout out ... boy don't make me wanna change my - tone 

 

1997  A Long December, Counting Crows - my first scuba diving (open water PADI certification, obtained during a winter vacation in Negril, Jamaica)

it's been so long since I've seen the ocean - guess I should  

 

1998  One Week, Barenaked Ladies - my first awareness of the term Asperger's (although I realized how much it fit me, it would be many years before I admitted it to myself and still more before I talked about it openly)

I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve

 

1999  Praise You, Fatboy Slim - my first significant family (genetic?) poor-health confirmations (my father, Leverett, dies at age 60 and my maternal grandmother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 80)  

we've come a long, long way together; through the hard times, and the good

 

2000  Dreaming, BT/Kirsty Hawkshaw - my first success at lucid dreaming accompanied my first long-form-scribble pen/ink drawing (full drawing)

 walk with me, the future's at hand ... one taste is never enough

 

2001  Breathe, Télépopmusik/Angela McCluskey - my first danger-pay deployment "NATO peace keeping" assignment (7 days-a-week for seven months; Ops Officer Kosovo/Macedonia)

another day ... I'm used to it by now, I'm used to it by now

 

2002  No Children, The Mountain Goats - my first contested divorce (and my first military pension check)

I hope I lie: and tell everyone you were a good wife

 

2003  Brimful of Asha, Cornershop (Norman Cook Remix) - my first online dating foray (U-date) eventually results in a successful partnership (eighteen years later and there aren't sufficient words of praise)

she's the one that keeps the dream alive, from the morning past the evening to the end of the light

 

2004  Float On, Modest Mouse - my first serious car accident (SUV flipped end-over-end, at highway speed, during a massive Arizona hail storm) which became my first blog post on s n a p p e r h e a d (my first blog)

bad news comes, don't-you-worry, even when it - lands

 

2005  Feel Good Inc, Gorillaz - my first digitally rendered artwork (sarah in the pity - based on, and derived from, my significant other who consistently seems to be incessantly imbued with unforeseen unplanned serendipitous events)

got a new horizon, it's ephemeral style 

2006  Crazy, Gnarls Barkley - my first visit to Manitoba, Yellowstone, Glacier and Grand Tetons (grizzly bears, elk, owl, red fox, bison, black bears, bald eagle, moose, wolf)

having the time of your life ... no coincidence I've come (I can die when I'm done) 

 

2007  Kashmir, Led Zeppelin - my first "I would have paid $1000 for a ticket" event (London benefit concert with John Bonham's son, Jason, on drums) because Zep is the only band I regret not seeing when I had the chance

 traveler of both time and space to be where I have been ... across the sea of years

 

2008  Handlebars, Flobots - my first recognition of the world-impacting importance of a US presidential election (Obama-Biden vs McCain-Palin—after the Bush wars—who was president, now, had significance)

the strings that control the system ... end the planet in a holocaust

 

2009  I Remember, deadmau5 and Kaskade - my first santacon (the dichotomy of making fresh memories while drenching brain cells in alcohol . . . I will always remember the four rules of santa rampage!)

 feeling the past moving in ... hold to the time that you know ... add to the memory you keep

  

2010  Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia), Us3 - my first time to play disc golf at a professional course (Horning's Hideout)

drip-trip, flip fantasia ... you move your feet (biddy biddy bop)

 

2011  Pop Culture, Madeon - my first favorite mashup song (the dance video with Nathan Barnatt is priceless)

hole in the world ... time goes by, so slowly, time goes, time goes, time goes by 

 

2012  Simple Math, Manchester Orchestra - my first philosophy readings become studies; this song (and video) best capture my brain's struggles and its failure to comprehend what it's choosing to focus on.

what if I was wrong and started trying to fix it? ... been trying to get to where we’ve always been?

2013  Mash Machine, FAROFF - my first 700+ days of continual work finally finished (beginning in 2011 I/we delivered newspapers a few hours every morning; 7 days a week, with no days off, for almost two years)

I ain't happy ... days destroys the night ... kickin your can all over the place

 

2014  Would You...?, Touch and Go - my first wedding/honeymoon done the right way (two bands, belly/hula/burlesque dancers, a DJ; pot-luck/open bar; two weeks: beach cabin then ocean resort then mountain resort, hot tubs & fireplaces)

Ahmm...

 

2015  Lone Digger, Caravan Place - my first custom-ordered-from-the-factory automobile (matte grey/black cabriolet smart with all the baby-booty-bells and mini-crackerjack-box-whistles; with 7 speakers it's a rolling stereo)

baby can you move it round the rhythm cause you know we're living in the fast lane (speed up)

2016  Human, Rag'n'Bone Man - my first donation to a presidential campaign (others failed to Feel the Bern) and my first smart car road-trip (with my cat, Cecil; 5000 miles) and first reconnoiter-vacation (to Vermont)

don't ask my opinion, don't ask me to lie (don't put the blame on me) 

2017  Believer, Imagine Dragons - my first full solar eclipse experience, first extremely low spring tide, and my first volunteer "work" (in the Oregon Humane Society's cattery section)

First things first: Imma say all the words inside my head ... write down my poems for the few

2018  Hey Soul Sister, Train - my first permanent estraingement from my sister (Kim) after she revealed her covert narcissism following the death of my friend Carol (who also had Asperger's; this was Carol's favorite song)

you have a one-track mind, like me ... you see, I can be myself now finally

 

2019  Finally Moving, Pretty Lights (Etta James) - my first "blind move" (no: local place, friends/family or employment; two cars, two cats, Oregon-to-Vermont) and my first meeting with my two sons (Bram and Ian)

oh sometimes, I get a good feeling - yeah 

 

2020  Bad Guy, Billie Eilish - my first intentionally rude verbal altercation with a supervisor (as a US Census Bureau clerk, I asked one why he was being a fuckin asshole, told another she was a terrible supervisor)

 I do, what I want, when I'm wanting to ... so cynical ... (duh)

 

  * I don't want this groove to ever end (by LTJ Xperience) - this 63^rd song is my first intentional lie [mandatory because Rob Gordon (quoted below from the film rather than the show) and it was rch-close to being 420!  So this eerily appropriate 8 minute song-with-a-perfect-title added the correct ending emotional tone and the correct running time.] . . . oh, yea: asterisked words are spelled the correct British way (combatting with a single 't' sounds-to-my-eye like com-bate-ing; labeling—single l—also sexual, too close to labial; and travelling with one 'l'?  It's just bloody jarring in'it?)

 the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art

similar listening/watching:

 

sAd story origin

 

re-collecting 👍👎 parts 1 - 4

 

30-song playlist catagories

 

critique of 100 films

Ballyhoo How to: Nutrient Stew Containing the Awareness Part of You

 

          Mind health.  Consider spending twenty minutes to listen (watching not required) to a snack-sized synopsis on the foundational stoic philosophers: Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aureilus.  If something they wrote is perceived by the awareness part of you to be affirmatively beneficial?  Dive deeper at your own pace.

 

           Brain health.  Listen to ten minutes (watching still not required) of highlights which touch on the key elements required to improve your golova and maintain the nutrient stew of your body's operating system.  If something mentioned has been depleted or overlooked?  Replenish to improve, repair, and possibly extend your warranty.

 

  

 

 

additional brain-stuffings:

from whence the hand-octopus-rat came

 

costumes and taxpayer dollars

 

philosophy club rules

 

death and taxes

 

 

Beau of the Fifth Column

 

          There is a voice out there, coming from Florida, who talks clearly and intelligently about a wide range of things related to current events, progressive politics, survival, and common sense.  His name is Justin King.  His scripted, cogent, and rational videos are 96.5%-of-the-time exactly what I already thought or wanted-to-learn about any given issue (currently at a ratio of 38%-knew to 48.5%-learned).  His calming, food-for-thought uploads can be found on the Beau of the Fifth Column YouTube channel.  I highly recommend listening to him daily.

 

          It was suggested that I try creating videos of my written essays, by someone who dislikes reading my Dense and Difficult to Decipher Ancillary Diatribes (DaD2DAD™).  Although my words might reach a larger audience, I'd need an alternative to my face because of my artists are observers adage.  So, until I get set-up, whyn't ya listen to Beau? (it's just a thought).

"That's not who we are" — is what it is.

 

          I always cringe when a mature, educated, adult allows the phrase 'it is what it is' to fall out of their brain.  Those five succinct words, in that order, jangle-pucker my opinion-of-you muscle like a sharp kick in the gooch.  Some part of me refuses to stop thinking about, mentally investigates, attempts to further identify, and wants to maybe-hopefully come up with a better answer—to everything.  So, when someone idiomatically declares 'it is whut it is'?  I smell a putrefactive-proclamation!  They sound like they're saying: all is futile; any further thought or discussion by anyone (which includes me) is a fuckin waste of time; case closed.

 

          Which causes me to want to dig it up and determine why they want it buried.  This fantastic article details the 2007 ubiquitous use of the phrase as witnessed by a US Army commander in Iraq.

          When I hear i.i.w.i.i. my grey-matter gavels loudly on my sensibility's sounding block and I have difficulty repressing the urge to say: "I hate that phrase" or "I disagree" or (if I'm feeling kind) "I'm always confused by that statement."  The new after Jan 6^th me will no longer repress that urge and I will tell you to your face that I hate that fatalistic sentence.

 

          The equivalent idiom du jour: 'that is not who we are' has been ubiquitously uttered by President Biden, dozens of talking heads (from every political party and media outlet), as well as personal friends and neighbors.

 

          Stop saying: "that's not who we are"!  When you say it, you sound like you're either a coward with your head buried in the sand, an idiot who denies reality, or both.

 

          Use of the "editorial we" or "royal we" is a nosism [say: Nose-is-um].  During the culmination of the Trump presidency's 'final boss battle' on Jan 6^th (the echoes of insurrectionist's chants may still be pinging and punching around inside our befuddled brainpans today) the racism, bigotry, prejudice, and in-your-face hatred of millions of white-Republican men and women was proudly on display.

 

          That Is Who We All Are - As A Nation.  Depending on your daily statements and actions, you may be able to say, "that behavior is not representative of who I, as an individual, am."  (From now on, I will require you to prove it.  I intend to ask everyone their opinions.  Fair warning!  Be prepared to defend your statements.)  Because, clearly, WE as a country are a collection of hypocritical, terrible, racist, fucktards.

 

          It is who we were before the civil war a century and a half ago.

 

          It is who we were during the civil rights movement 60 years ago. 

 

          It is who we were when the Black Lives Matter movement began in 2013 when the murderers of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown and Eric Garner (ad infinitum up to today) were acquitted or not indited. 

 

          It is who we were last month when thousands of hypocrites waved hundreds of flags, like: blue-lives-matter (as they struck and killed Capitol Police officers); Q-Anon (as they chanted 'kill Mike Pence'); as well as the confederate battle flag and flags of the NAZI party (as they chanted U.S.A, USA).  

          Our hatred is not buried.  It's constantly out in the open for all to see.  Watch this video and learn why when you say 'it is not who we are' that you're obviously lying to yourself:

          Are you now thinking: 'that is not my community'?  You're fooling yourself.  The vocal few are always surrounded by the silent majority in that city and in every city.  For every person who rolled down their window to shout, hundreds more drove by keeping their mouth shut while they were thinking the same thoughts (which Ms Gorman's poem artfully refers to as: 'quiet isn't always peace').

 

          The vocal few took planes, buses, trains, and pickup-trucks (chock-a-block full of a cacophony of flags) to DC on Jan 6^th—the silent millions voted for Trump twice, they still think the same racist thoughts, today and they'll vote for him a third time in four years.

 

more american-isms:

unfriended the old fashioned way

republican vs democrat thought patterns

 

how to create millions of jobs