s n a p p e r h e a d: January 2020

S P O T H E R E H T O P S

s n a p p e r h e a d – obvious acronym – eight categories found above

palindrome – title of this art work – contain hidden glories, which I love

objet d’art – an intriguing puzzle – tell abstract stories: certain enough

top spot here – damnable extra aych – letter inventories aren’t a glove

haiku poem – syllables three six nine – word labratories trim and shove

earth yarnball – kaleidoscope hash-tag – helpfull interrogatories void of

rotator – also a palindrome – htops dummy-letter aych squanders pace

entertain – myself as I create – an’ some chummy readers of this place

hold focus – concentrate on feelings – the gummy lexicon eyes to trace

there her tops – visage uncongeal – bluetummynipplethighs&greenface

ornate sphere – irony intended – blank crummy metaphor: human race

pointedly – message dichotomy – slummy-yummy in squire-cyberspace

staid playful – create civility – use your thrumming mind in face-to-face

additional art-poem combo meals:

CHASMS (In 2020 Vision)

Re-collecting Memories ❹ the fourth dozen

← the first dozen

← the second dozen

← the third dozen

1996 37 Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - first home purchase - two acres, two outbuildings, two-car garage, no landlord, no neighbor noise - discover pleasures and pitfalls of home ownership. Self-sufficient. Knowledgeable. Finally all grown up. Now I'm fully qualified for my "adulting credentials".
Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - sister sues our deceased step-father's estate - half sister is executrix - despicable greed dominates my entire immediate family - rift(s) in family relationships are irrevocably widened - attempt to distance myself. Adrift. Confused. Disdainful. Unaware (eventually, I become aware).

1997 38 Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - observe the northern lights - green or red-tinged green aurora borealis a half-dozen times (distant glow as well as slowly undulating close-up ribbons). Amazed. Serene. Entranced. Lucky.
Stuttgart, Germany - CW2 - temp SAC - conduct preliminary investigation on a recent allegation of a 50-year-old US war-crime (from WWII) - informed US soldiers shot and murdered German POWs (interview two eyewitnesses and a survivor). Disillusioned. Ashamed of previous service members. Embarrassed by my own naïveté.

1998 39 Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - witness a massive meteor storm - cold and mostly cloudy night (about 1am EST) - meteor showers, normally measured in meteors per minute or hour — I witnessed hundreds per second for about 20 minutes (until clouds blocked the sky) - the event was so unknown/unusual I didn't know what I was seeing - call everyone to ask what they see - no mention in local or national news the next day - still no mention of a massive meteor storm in 1998 on the internet - Awestruck. Overwhelmed. Dumbfounded. Wonder if this was an unexpected, once-in-a-hundred-lifetimes-event, hidden from most people who could have seen it by 99% cloud cover.
Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - struggle shiver-slog thru devastating state-wide ice storm - most of northern NY state without electricity for a week (my house for eleven days) - millions of trees broken, thousands of power-lines down, hundreds of blocked roads, damaged windows, burst pipes (wood stove = lifesaver). Stressed. Challenged. Extremely uncomfortable. (Albeit, there was a certain beauty in everything covered in thick ice).

1999 40 Wiesbaden, Germany - CW2 - obtain PADI certification during two-week Jamaica vacation - scuba dive with sting rays - moray eel - catch crabs in make-shift net. Skill-thrilled. Excited. Proud to become a member of an exclusive explorer club.
Wiesbaden, Germany - CW2 - learn I possess 50% of Asperger's Syndrome traits - knowledge of the label is initially very discomfiting - I tell no one. Different. Odd. No longer "just" an uber-introvert. (In 2015 Asperger's is re-labeled part of ASD, but I've gotten comfortable wearing the label for over a decade, so informing others to explain lack of eye contact, hyper-attention to detail, and my disdain for small-talk, just makes things easier.)

2000 41 Wiesbaden, Germany - CW3 - scuba dive vacation - Red Sea, Egypt - sharks, turtle, eel, giant purple-blueish clam, thousands of jelly fish, night-dive, wreck-dive, drift-dive, deep-dive - also visit Caro, Valley of the Kings. Pleased. Excited. Lucky.
Wiesbaden, Germany - CW3 - excruciatingly painful ear infection - no doctors provide sufficient medicine to help (neither local emergency room nor military clinic) - four days of hell - can't get out of bed - infection returns in a month - then one medic (exception proving the rule) gives me a Z-pack - cures it in a day - reconfirm my distrust of doctors. Fear return infection. Angry.

2001 42 Kosovo - CW3 - 30 day vacation in Australia - tree house in rain-forest - outback hike - deep-sea fishing - snorkeling lizard island - scuba live-aboard Coral Sea and GBR - Sydney - Cairns - bat cave - wildfires - cane frogs - fruit bat - deadly plants - feed tree possums! Mind-expanding. Wonderfully entertained. Perfect retirement present to myself. Over-inundated by unique beauty, new information, and first-time experiences.
Kaiserslautern, Germany - CW3 - every aspect of my life for the last six months of my career = worst of entire career: housing (3rd floor stairwell apt) neighbors (rude-noisy) job (paper-pusher) commute (90-minute autobahn one-way) supervisor (dull clock-watcher) office (tightly shared with 3 coworkers) home (tightly shared with unemployed/unhappy wife, divorced step-daughter, and her child) stress (all of the above and 9/11, Afghanistan, Iraq, retirement postponement "stop-loss" possible / retirement planning / vacation planning) creativity (nonexistent). Light at the end of the tunnel kept me sane. Teetering on brink of mental exhaustion. Surrounded by careless-people and people who don't care (there is a difference). Lonely. On edge. Frayed.

2002 43 Prescott, AZ - Retired - nomadic for 6 months - remote camping - camp sites - motels - friends / family - purchase a 5th wheel trailer - explore the sunny SW states of TX, CO, NM, UT, AZ, NV - hike with my cat, Gus. Relaxed. Unfettered. Perfectly retired. Mentally rested. Creativity returning slowly.
Prescott, AZ - Retired - waking-blackout for two hours - consume too much of the wrong-stuff at the worst concert of my life. Sheepish. Foolish. Garrulously stupid.

2003 44 Prescott, AZ - separate and file for divorce - discover (like a color-blind person being handed a pair of enchroma glasses) that I'd become mostly unaware of the extent and depth of my own unhappyness - no longer emphatically absorbing the ever-fluctuating moods of an never-contented spouse. Ecstatic. Never a moment of regret or disappointment.
Phoenix, AZ - new relationship - great company - good communication - move to where she works - willing to keep myself occupied until she's ready to move away from the hot-terrible city. Happy. Cautious (new-relationship training-wheels). Pleased with our joint-luck of finding each other. Wonderfully compatible.

2004 45 Phoenix, AZ - start s n a p p e r h e a d - creative outlet without demands (except those set by myself) - learn HTML - begin digital composite found-art (garage is 120 degrees = too hot to paint). Comfortable. Satisfied. Fully engaged with my imagination. Creative engine revving back to high-speed. Fantastic state of mind.
Phoenix, AZ - flip a car at 60mph during the worse hail storm ever experienced - only actual car accident in my life - one minute everything is fine and the next, I'm upside down in a ditch - unconscious for a couple seconds. Physically injured. Mentally in shock. Emotionally thankful we were not more injured. Traumatized.

2005 46 Phoenix, AZ - week in San Francisco - two weeks in Mexico - constantly creating, learning, exploring, reading and spending whatever time possible with a fantastic bestfriend-girlfriend. Where has this feeling been all my life - shared love between two simpatico close-confidants is unequalled. Amazed.
Phoenix, AZ - Pam undergoes major surgery - multiple teenager problems with law enforcement causes her stress - significant discord with her mother - upheaval at her job. My emotions are (by empathic connection) buzzing. Want to help; helpless when I can't. Confused.

2006 47 Payson, AZ - month of traveling - perfect night (cabin, hot tub, light-bulb chicken, home-made-salad, visiting house cat, canoe on a moonlit lake, stone fireplace) - Saranac Lake, NY. Sated. Calm. Giddy with the perfection of it all.
Payson, AZ - 5th wheel trailer living - cats stressed by too much proximity - her kids uprooted and unhappy with their fathers - her job search's unfruitful - future financial insecurity = stress. Slightly un-creative. Un-moored. Disgruntled. Unable to focus. Supportive.

2007       48         Payson, AZ - sirius radio "chill station" becomes new favorite - in car - in home - outside drawing with antenna headphones - Pam's new travel-work permits me to accompany occasionally. Chilled out. Pleased. Contented.
                            Payson, AZ - mega-drunk at a party - suspect something more than alcohol was in my glass - emotions racing - unreasonable anger for no reason - terrible things said - unconscionably long and bleary drive afterward - Stupid lucky. Aware every mile I drove that I was never more-eligible for a DUI (or a hearse) in my life. Angry at myself for being aware that I was behaving so reckless as I was driving as well as after. My rare "that's not who I am" event; a self-embarrassing event I don't like to recall. This is my answer when asked, in a party-game, for a "worst regret" — I'd return in a time-machine and tell myself not to drink at this party (especially not from the open jagermeister in the freezer).
      the fifth dozen (coming soon?)

waod poem

rarely are there anymore breathtaking dénouements in this place outside of

yet as I crafted an important series of sentences for my son I stumbled on

bliss by a billion tiny kisses (the antithesis of death’s trillion tiny cuts)

barely realized unless our split-brained attention is riven; focus forced into

novel-for-you non-momentous events; happening right now, or isn’t this a first for

encouragement and compliance of contemplation of this composition? Today it’s

s n a p p e r h e a d ’s totem pole capstone, which was begun in forty-three’s day

tomorrow waod poem’s intricate reflection collage silhouettes will be unburied

while conducting future memory mining exercises during AOC’s presidency

which requires every one of us to live thru overwhelming/underwhelming

events during The Buffoon’s impeachment and then place their recall

codes in squire where they may get dusty but never so unused as to

draw attention to bending the ground rules while recognizing they exist

for the sole purpose of being broken – morality may be completely inside of

creative words generated by millions of imaginations but would this artwork if

less delicately prurient or without its attention catch-hold – I suggest it would not

be valued any less by me, its creator, who considers every view, by you, a tiny kiss

Details on the creation of this artwork and poem can be read about at: Art Transliteration.

other art-poem combo deals:

CHASMS (In 2020 Vision)

hey there below | moiaq aiayf hau

Sleepus Interruptus

imagine a suggestively-confusing title here

Interested in how this was created (this, my personal worst artwork to date)? An explanation can be read at Art Transliteration.

more suggestive art:

tang.abstract.houghts

straits of ujod

vestige of course
sarah in the pity

Can You Canoe?*

     Two people in a canoe (stop me I you’ve heard this one) paddling upstream…

     Even if you grew up on a lake, you may be unfamiliar with some of the finer points of canoeing, so I’m going to explain some things you may already know, but—this is my analogy, so move your eyes along—these specific points are important to the getting-to-my-point part of the gisty-overall-nut.

     The person in the back of the canoe (I’ll defer from going too far, but realize I do know my aft from a port in the ground) steers as well as paddles. The person in the front paddles and navigates. (Because the front has the best view of submerged dangers.)

   Also, the person in the back—the driver—can easily see on which side the person in the front is paddling; important for steering, because when both paddle on the same side the canoe turns in that direction, and when each paddle with the same strength on opposite sides: it travels relatively straight.

     A J-stroke (turning the blade of the paddle away from the canoe at the end of the stroke) can correct the slight turn of the canoe caused by the initial power of the stroke.

     Feathering the paddle (at the end of each stroke, turning the wrist so the blade is parallel with the water surface) insures less air resistance as the paddle is brought forward and, more importantly, if the paddle accidentally strikes the water, it smoothly slices through and doesn’t alter the canoe's course of travel.

     The front person—the navigator—can’t see how the driver is paddling or feathering. The navigator also can’t see if the driver is using a proper J-stroke, or even if the driver is no longer paddling but is using the paddle as a rudder. The driver, on the other hand, can always tell when the navigator is not feathering, using a J-stroke, or paying attention for submerged objects.

     An easy canoe trip is spent drifting downstream. This permits both people to do very little hard work. The driver can steer without much effort. The navigator doesn't have to constantly paddle and can just look out for underwater obstacles. A marriage or committed-relationship (eventually I get to it) of downstream drifting consists of:

A downstream-navigator, watching the scenery float by, enjoying the knowledge that the driver will steer the canoe without much besides an occasional word of direction.
A downstream-driver, steering haphazardly, paddling only when absolutely necessary, and rarely asking his navigator for guidance.

     The upstream marriage is very different. Each person knows they have a hard river ahead and must decide who is best capable of steering and who is going to provide direction. Trust is needed, even before getting in the canoe. A knowledgeable navigator is aware a lazy driver may go unnoticed until the navigator feels the canoe losing distance. A wary driver knows an inattentive navigator may cause damage to the canoe.

     Upstream or downstream, it’s always easy at first. No one’s tired. It’s a new experience! New-navigators don’t get distracted by the passing scenery (too much) and routinely call back, amid strong strokes, “we need to go left here” and “I think we need to stay waaay right of that rock”. At the same time, new-drivers—with strength and proficiency—constantly feather, and, when their new-navigators paddle on the right, they switch to the left; when their new-navigators get tired and switch back, the attentive new-driver is ready to switch too.

     After a while, depending on the canoe, the couple, their individual stretch of river, and whether they are struggling upstream or coasting downstream, each person can get physically tired or mentally bored. It’s a long upstream or downstream haul. It never stops flowing.

     When the navigator gets tired and stops paddling: A wise driver knows how to paddle and steer alone, asking if the navigator is OK; an incompetent driver criticizes and complains about doing all the work and at times may even go so far as to gripe, “watching for hidden logs is the simple and easy job”.

     When the driver gets tired and stops paddling or just steers: A conscientious navigator knows it’s time to kick in some extra effort and J-stroke for two; a selfish navigator looks back and complains about doing all the work.

     When the canoe hits an underwater log: An experienced driver knows the sun on the water can blind even the most attentive navigator and begins back paddling; a foolish driver places blame and hollers directions. This incident can be further aggravated—with an un-trusting couple—if the log was hit when the navigator was looking back at the driver to criticize about a lack of effort. It then becomes a, “see-what-you-did, not-my-fault-you-weren’t-paddling,” back and forth.

     When paddling a marriage upstream: Both the driver and the navigator must work together. Both must communicate: “I need a break, can you paddle alone for a while?” By that, I mean:

If you are presently the navigator and know your driver will see when you stop paddling, so think it's redundant to mention it, you're wrong: tell your driver anyway.
If you are currently the driver and suspect your navigator won't know if you just take a quick rest, you're wrong: tell your navigator first.

Although there are rarely any guarantees on the river of life, there are some certainties: the logs and rocks just under the surface are always going to be there. Canoe partners can't see each other's face, so talking is mandatory...don’t add to the submerged dangers by failing to communicate.

To help ensure your canoe-partner doesn’t notice your canoe trip is no longer what they envisioned at the beginning (when fresh, dry, and still on the bank of the river) a few canoe-rules:

Never take your canoe-partner for granted or treat them disrespectfully. Many canoers have the (vastly mistaken) impression that they'll be sharing their canoe with their partner—and will always remain in the same seat position—for their entire life! (All that, ’til death do us part, shite.) It shouldn’t be, but it is, an absolute shock to many canoers when they discover their partner wants to stop their canoe trip.
Never act like you have attained a tenured position. The length of time spent in the canoe seems to have a bearing on the ease (or lack thereof) of getting out of it. The more time both canoers invest in paddling the less willing they become, to get out. This can be the impetus for a ridiculous belief (in one or both) that the invested time itself, somehow guarantees the canoe trip's longevity. As one mistaken idea becomes a boatload—a careless canoer then treats their partner with disdain and acts selfishly, without regard for their responsibilities as driver or navigator.

This eventually comes to an end when someone bravely plunges into the cold water to swim to the riverbank or to another canoe.

I’ve successfully paddled canoes with a handful of significant others (usually as the driver, but I've navigated as well). I steered or navigated those canoes to shore when the trips were over (at times reluctantly, usually enthusiastically). Occasionally I got my feet a little damp. If I had to jump in to get the canoe on the bank, I got my legs soaking wet. I say this because, I’ve done it enough to know the water is not so cold that one can’t take it for a short period.

I’m no longer looking for someone to help me paddle a canoe. I currently share a rowboat with the perfect person to share it with.

Be careful! Not everyone can manage a rowboat. It takes agility, trust, and strong communication. One rows facing the stern, while the other navigates facing the rower and the bow. When switching rowers—after one gets tired—be extremely careful to prevent capsizing. And, when the tough spots arrive (as they always do) both people have to row side-by-side: each with an oar gripped in their hands, only able to gauge where they are headed by watching where they've been.

* posted 2005; update/re-post 2020