How to Improve the Entire World

          Since all card-carrying members of the narcissistic personality disorder club refuse to carry membership cards almost as vehemently as they deny their own membership, this bumper sticker won't cause your car (or your ass) to get kicked like zombies definitely would if you had a bumper sticker that said: 'first ... kill all the ZOMBIES'.

          Unlike zombies, identifying narcissists is not always easy.  Along with seven myths about narcissism, there are many signs to look for in others.  Of course—only in others, as I already pointed out, it's impossible for a narcissist to recognize their own traits:
  • Believe they are better than others
  • Fantasize about power, success, and attractiveness
  • Exaggerate their achievements or talents
  • Expect constant praise and admiration
  • Believe they are special (and act accordingly)
  • Lack empathy; fail to recognize emotions or feelings of others
  • Expect others to always go along with their ideas and plans
  • Take advantage of others
  • Express disdain for those they think are inferior
  • Express jealousy of others as well as believe others are jealous of them
  • Incapable of maintaining healthy relationships (especially long-term)
  • Set unrealistic goals
  • Thin-skinned; feel easily hurt and rejected
  • Possess a fragile self-esteem
  • Display a tough-minded or unemotional appearance
          Just like you can't convince a zombie to stop trying to eat anyone's and everyone's brains, you can't convince a narcissist to stop ruining the world with their constant manipulative yet disdainful blathering-on-and-on about themselves.  The best way to stop them both is with a headshot.

          One problem...a world without narcissists is a world without celebutantes, celebutards, and most other reality television participants who not only stoke the coals but fan the flames of our schadenfreude.

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