s n a p p e r h e a d

          Another tragedy...this (reference to latest one) is even more horrific than the one from (reference to previous one) with a death toll larger than the (reference one which happened prior to previous one).

          Calm down. Because of population growth, these events just appear larger than their predecessors. When you factor in world-wide technological advances and media over-saturation the world is no more evil than it was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was. Same. As. It. Ever. WAS.

While you hum the rest of the Mr Byrne's tune, let me deviate.

If I measure from the year of my birth and non-objectively assume there was only one person occupying my fair share of this wondrous planet at that time, today—my portion has been halved. From my grandmother's perspective there are now four bodies occupying her plot. To be fair, only half the world's population are born from morons, are raised to be idiots, and die imbeciles...which brings me to the theorists mentioned in my title.

Last week: two bombs + two criminals + Boston marathon = a handful dead/many injured. The result has been conspiracy theorists outdoing themselves; ridiculously farfetched claims abound.

Yet—strangely—almost the same day (an "anniversary week" which is significant for loons and those who follow conspiracies): one fire + massive explosion + near Waco, Texas = death and destruction many times worse than that of Boston. But...no conspiracies (or very little).

I always doubt "coincidences". I suspect the explosion in West, Texas was arson. Intentional.

          Today, another large fire/explosion near Mobile, Alabama. All the normal conspiracy nuts are still silent (I've checked). I find it curiouser and curiouser that no one has posited any connections.

But... why are conspiracies on my mind lately?

True story: A short while ago a friend of my fiancee's came over to visit us. A conversation starter was asked of her, "What have you been up to lately?"

She replied, "I was sitting out in my yard this morning watching a whole bunch of chem-trails being sprayed overhead."

Pause. Longer pause. Still no talking.

I glance sideways at her. No body language hint that she's joking around. I glance at my fiancee to gauge her reaction (she never told me of any mental impairment, so maybe this is new for her too).

My fiancee asks, with a smile in her voice, "Is that something you do a lot?" (I thought that was a very smooth way to determine if she was a full-on whackjob or if she just goofed around every other weekend with being mentally unstable).

And whackjob said without a hitch, "Oh yeah. They're up there spraying us all the time. A couple weeks ago my neighbors and I watched...must have been...over two dozen chem-trails being sprayed inside of less than a half hour.

I got that cringe in the nerves running between the back of my brain and my diaphragm, which cause me to twitch my shoulders inward a little bit. I tightened my lips slightly. And...

Here is what I'd have said if she wasn't a friend of my fiancee's: "Don't you live in Longview, Washington? Under a major flight corridor, with all of the north-south traffic to and from Sea-Tac? And since there's no mystery behind what happens when hot exhaust meets the cold atmosphere, you must be bananna-shit crazy if you believe millions of conspirators are spraying the air with poisons."

I didn't say any of that. I smirked, shook my head, and (politely) bit my tongue.

So... my fiancee is still acquainted with a crazy woman from Longview.

other conspiracy related stuff:

Criminal Investigator's #1 Rule of Thumb

Deconstruction of Zeitgeist using the Bloody Socks Rule

Chicken Little Wridiots

          If you occasionally follow my film recommendations, you already know I adhere to the "look to the director" school; the director chooses the script, the director oversees the casting, the dir...you get my drift. Good film = credit the director; bad film = blame the director.

          Although I don't think everything William Friedkin has directed is worthy of a standing ovation (or even your applause in some cases) Killer Joe combines the Grit he captured in The French Connection with nearly the same quality of Visceral he achieved in The Exorcist.

          The script, written by Tracy Letts, is tight and near-perfect. The actors (all five of them) could not have been better. In fact, until I saw this performance, I thought Matthew McConaughey was a bland movie actor playing the same dude in different clothes.

          This film wasn't seen in many theaters because of its NC17 rating (which still scares the distributors away) but is now available on red envelope slash box slash download. Find it.

          Post script for blood-relatives: If you accidentally read this and decide to follow my advice and find this film - stop. If you're someone I talk to and I haven't personally told you about this film? That's because I know you won't like it. You'll be revolted by the violence, sickened by the sex and nudity, and disgusted by the raw and ugly story. My second paragraph was supposed to point that out. "But" you might say, "I liked The Exorcist and French Connection"; and then I might reply, "those films were edgy forty years ago; this film is edgy today".