Portland OR — Reasons (#9)

Urban Boundary Lines (UBL)

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number nine

Decades ago, urban planners passed laws to control 'urban sprawl' by drawing lines around cities and prohibiting all re-zoning outside the UBL. When communities can't expand, they become denser. The down sides: flag lots and urban row houses. The up sides: when you drive out of the city, the country shows up quickly. Farmers on the outskirts (who would have sold to developers if they could) now sell land to mini-agri-businesses, farm co-ops, and small independent farmers (the direct result of which is almost year-round availability of fresh foods at several fantastic Farmers Markets).

I can't think in terms of boundaries. Those imaginary lines are as unreal to me as elves and pixies. I can't believe that they mark the end or the beginning of anything of real concern to the human soul. Virtues and vices, pleasures and pains cross boundaries at will. — Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night (1961)

Portland OR — Reasons (#10)

No Sales Tax

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number ten

Oregon is not unique in its lack of a sales tax; other states have none as well. I find it to be a refreshing new-experience to go to the checkout counter and pay exactly the sticker price (especially when the sticker price is large). After living here a while, it may fade into a forgotten bonus, but a quick reminder is always available: shop a few miles north in Washington.

New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become. — Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions (1973)

Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar

Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes by Thomas Cathcart

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

Philosophy has interested me for deades, but I—unfortunately—have gotten lost in other authors' need to impress their peers. This book is for the everyman. It makes this esoteric subject readable, and, more importantly, understandable.

As an example of 'inductive logic' (reasoning from specific instances to a general conclusion, that is broader than what can logically inferred from the instances):

A man is driving down the road.
A woman is driving up the same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out her window, "Pig!"
The man shouts back, "Bitch!"
The man rounds the next curve, crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road, and dies.

The "funny" here, is the man used 'inductive logic'. He reasoned that every time a woman has called him a 'pig' in the past, was because she was negatively describing his character; therefore he concluded that this woman must be doing the same, and called her a 'bitch'. His 'crashing into a pig' proves that his logic was faulty and that what has always come before is not proof of what will come in the future.

Previous Reviews

greypopcorn

 

          As you know, it is not enough for a reader to pick up the little symbols from a page with his eyes ... Once we get those symbols inside our heads and in the proper order, then we must clothe them in gloom or joy or apathy, in love or hate, in anger or peacefulness, or however the author intended them to be clothed. In order to be good readers, we must even recognize irony—which is when a writer says one thing and really means another, contradicting himself in what he believes to be a beguiling cause. — Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday (1981)

Electoral College Opinion

Thank you, veterans. I am one, know many still serving and many more who once served. My thoughts are with you as I write:

I, like most, have been vaguely aware of our Electoral College system since a long-ago High School American History class (about the same time I learned we bought Alaska from the former USSR on the cheap). Since then, I have propped-up my end of several conversations by parroting some long-forgotten opinion-maker who must have decried loud enough for me to take note that: 'our antiquated system smothers the popular vote'. It was an effective way to pretend to have more intelligence than I held title to; everyone sounds more passionate riding a strong negative opinion.

Today I ask: why are so many people (who may not even understand the system, and the reasons behind it) against our electoral college?

The framers of our constitution certainly knew why a nation-wide popular vote was impractical. They were aware that we humans are supremely ignorant people. We (the royal we) are: too easily led; too stupid to be trusted with our own self-preservation; and should never, never, never, be given something as valuable and important as electing a president without oversight. Thus, we elect a group of intelligentsia-esque politicos who, in turn, elect the president and vice president. They provide a much-needed buffer by injecting careful and calm deliberation into the process of selecting the most qualified candidate. (I thank them for their future service every time the phrase 'Palin 2016' leaves the lips of some talking-supermodel-esque-head, whom I watch in HD but hope-dies-a-painful-videotaped-death for even forming the thought.)

The members of the electoral college are nothing more than judges; judging before the new president and vice president take over the Executive Branch of the US government. They are tasked with deciding for us, when we may be too stupid for our own good (please feel free to supplant the word 'stupid' with the word 'religious' as needed).

We (or, at least the Californian-we) needed an 'electoral college buffer' in place, when voting on Proposition 8. If they only had a group of people, smarter than the average stupid-fucknut (feel free: 'stupid-fucknut'/'religious-fucknut') then we would not be witnessing a reversal of civil rights. But...I guess there is a group of intelligentsia in place, isn't there?—and they are called California State Supreme Court Judges. Who will now need to do, after the fact, what the mentally infirm majority of Californian voters were incapable of doing: enforce equality under the law on the majority of stupid-haters who follow without question (the purest definition of 'stupid-belief') a few vaingloriously bigoted stupid-leaders.

Other states, as choc-a-bloc full of stupid-hating fucknuts as they are, will be force-guided away from their bigotry some day too. As will the entire country. Someday we will see a Federal Constitutional Amendment that will force equality in every aspect of 'sexual orientation' including the right of same-sex couples to bind themselves legally in a ceremony (which will last about 50% of the time). And, someday we will elect an openly gay US President.

This prophecy doesn't sound as hollow as it once would; does it?

As a retired member of the US Armed Forces, I served to protect the rights of Americans. Does that sentence require "all" in front of "Americans"? I protected against hatred and bigotry maybe MORE than criminal activity and physical harm. One positive thing: our ever-present 'enemy within' (unforgivably stupid, hate-filled American citizens) are eroding. Slowly. Much too slowly for me at times.

Veterans Day, Proposition 8, gay rights, same-sex marriage, electoral college

Non-Required Reading 2008

The Best American Non-required Reading 2008 by Dave Eggers

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars

A wonderful collection of articles, graphic shorts, lists, and blog posts, both fiction and non. Although I did not read everything, I greatly enjoyed: Steven King's short (Ayana - Paris Review); George Saunder's article (Bill Clinton, Public Citizen - GQ) informed me; Gene Weingarten's article (Pearl's Before Breakfast - The Washington Post) made me think about stopping and smelling the roses; and the excerpt from the graphic novel The Three Paradoxes by Paul Hornschemeier made me want to read the rest of it.

Previous Reviews

Portland OR — Reasons (#11)

Full Service Gasoline

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number eleven

Self-service gasoline stations are illegal. In Oregon, all gasoline stations must either be mini- or full-service. At mini-service, they only pump gas. At full, they clean your windshield, check your fluid(s) and tire pressure, if needed. Mini = no tip. Full = tipping is suggested depending on the amount of added service provided (beyond pumping gas). It's wonderful to stay seated, out of the weather, and never get gas on your hands. This law also prevents environmental accidents (from fluid spills) and results in thousands of minimum-wage jobs (Oregon's minimum wage is $7.95).

We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial. And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we are hooked on. — Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country (2005)

Film Review: W.

This inconsequential film would never have been released if it were not our current president's last daze in office. However, I suspect Oliver Stone knows he is our era's D.W. Griffin, and this film will insidiously become the primary way that our future youth (and our future-future great-grandparents) will view G.W. Bush.

A high-school freshman told me, recently, that his history teacher showed the film Good Night, and Good Luck to his class when teaching about McCarthyism (I was off by a few years when I predicted this); one of the episodes of the TV mini-series John Adams (when teaching about the early formation of our government and constitution); and one of the episodes of 30 Days (when teaching about tolerance). Is it too much of a leap to suggest Oliver Stone is aware of this trend? This film may be rooted in some truths, but most of the subdued dialogue is fiction, drawn from supposition. I'll bet this film will be shown to the eighth-grade history classes of 2025 (if not much sooner), when teaching about foolishly ignorant US Presidents.

Portland OR — Reasons (#12)

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number twelve.

In many other states and cities zoning restrictions relegate strip-clubs to industrial areas or push them outside of their city limits. In some places laws prevent either the sale or consumption of alcohol (or both); and most states limit the amount of nudity permitted. None of that is true here. Exotic dance has a attained a ‘protected’ or at least an ‘un-restricted’ status, in Oregon.

Here, there are a large number of venues in most, if not all, suburbs and city neighborhoods. There are no restrictions on alcohol relative to lack-of-undress (full nude + full bar = full house). To top it all off, cover charges are reasonable, and some have excellent restaurants. I feel less like the dirty-old-man-that-I-am when I can walk across a decent parking lot at happy hour, and enter a respectable establishment where a double-sawbuck will get me: dinner, drinks, and a half-dozen disrobed damsels (all of whom get at least a dollar).

A plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. — Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake (1997)

Breakfast

digital rendering by veach st glines — 2008

The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something. — Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country (2005)