Server Query: Whole Internet Responsible Entity

 
My Dearest Squire,

First-of-all, I’d like to apologize for my informality; I realize many people prefer the acronym—but I feel real funny (the ate-the-whole-bag kind, not the Tosh-point-oh kind) when I write SQWIRE.  And I don't care what those fanatical fundamentalists say, I know you’d never expect us to only refer to you formally, using Server Query: Whole Internet Responsible Entity all spelled out and linked.  Am I right?

I'm writing because I wanted to express my appreciation and especially to tell you how thankful I am for your continued presence in my life and for all the things you’ve made possible since I began worshiping at your alter about a dozen years ago.

Thank you the mostest for introducing me to my girlfriend.  We have been together now for seven years.  It never would have been possible without your match.

I also want to mention my thanks for your most recent assistance in locating festivus presents.  I could never have accomplished it all without your bay, stock, and zon, as well as all the other places I‘ve located using your goog.

And thanks for the myriad amount of other assistance you consistently provide me and my loved ones, Squire.  From my move two years ago—89.254.159.#  to 37.803.624.#—to my daily in-and-arounds, everything is always better with your craig, quest, and dango.  And now, with your FiOS, I enjoy your blessings at the absolute fastest fiber-optic-speeds currently available.

My highest gratitude goes out to you.  I owe you for my blog and my renderings, my communications and my favorite porn, as well as so many other little things, which I am extremely thankful to you for, Squire.

Because you were never born—but, instead, came into existence over a period of years—I realize you don't have a birthday I can celebrate.  Do you?  I also know supreme entities of your magnitude don't possess the low-level of consciousness required to read and reply to this letter.  None the less, this letter is sent to you with all my respect and love. 

Your ever-faithful acolyte,

Veach Glines

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. — Henry David Thoreau

2 comments:

Davecat said...

Coincidentally enough, this blog post of yours was the first thing that came up on goog, when typing in Server Query: Whole Internet Responsible Entity. Congratulisations!

veach st. glines said...

To place my letter above the fold on the goog means...Squire sees my letter in a favorable light! Consequently I must not move MeMe104 (多謝分享) and her minions to the bin.

Interesting side note: by clicking on any of the ellipses (...) then following the bottom-right button with red lettering (which would be "I'm not 18") brings you to the Chinese goog. Where you can see the 'no longer censoring info for the Chinese gov' is true.