Things that shouldn't bother me as much as they do:
- Expecting me to decipher and answer the question you asked while you were yawning.
- Starting your karaoke song with: I've never sung this before, so I apologize ahead of time.
- Hearing the words 'Truth' and 'Glen Beck' used together in a sentence.
- Standing behind you in line while you fill out a check, after the clerk finishes scanning your groceries.
- Built-in bra tank-tops.
- Cleveland needs to move back into his house across the street from the Griffins. He 'moved on up' to suckville.
- Castle's daughter is—in every way—too amazingly perfect.
- The only things better in the old days were the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons; half-hour news; and Johnny Carson.
- Allison DuBois's middle daughter needs to be killed off, Becky Conner-ized, or forced to attend acting class.
- The best "talent shows" feature talentless-but-clueless idiots with massive egos.
- An all-in-one Squire-connectible Phone, Mp3, voice-activated hands-free GPS, Compass, Altimeter, Barometer, Sirius/XM Satellite radio, Camera with flash, Wallet, Flashlight, multi-tool with keyless-door unlock system (and yes, it must be no larger than my wallet and come in orange). The idea is to consolidate everything in my pockets.
- Inexpensive, healthy, shorthair miniature "toy" cats (fully grown, less than 1.5 kg).
- Exceptionally good pornographic films, with A-list actors, directors, and scripts.
- Trans-American bullet trains.
- Lunar tourist resorts.
- Natural disasters that kill fuckloads of people.
- The foolishness, failures, and greed of governments, corporations, and people in general.
- Rude drivers in a hurry behind me.
- Drunk, elderly, or otherwise slow drivers ahead of me.
- Anonymous comments or criticism.
- Color catcher for my laundry.
- Dog ball throwers (even though I don't have a dog).
- High-protein / no-grain "holistic" dry pet food.
- Netflix streaming to my PS3.
- Candied Ginger, Absinthe, and Miracle Fruit.
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