Abstruse Building - Hillsboro, OR

          Transit Center?... that sounds sooo invisible two-thousand four.  We are talking about a building which is to be built in the future; we need to inform those fellow Oregonians who'll eventually drive, ride, or pedal past in the flesh this is not just a parking garage near a bus stop.  It'll have charging stations for electric cars, public restrooms with showers and lockers, places to secure bicycles.  It'll be near a train stop.  For the love of everything international toll free—it'll have a bus stop inside!

          No, no, no...is your interaural transfer function not working properly?...the research, conducted by the Integrated Testing Forum, indicates that for individuals to fully understand what it's to function as, it needs an integrated-title-facade with an appropriate name in an impressively titled font.

          What?  Yes, I've tried fedora's.  Yes, I also have ironically tattooed forearms.  Well...I text fast, and I think, friend, that's waaay better than typing full sentences.  

          What's this have to do with selecting a name for the parking lot with a bus stop?

          Nevermind.  I've tentatively figured it out.

Dear Neighbor,

          I am writing to you today because of the phone call you made to my employer last week.  According to my supervisor, you are adamant about not receiving anymore of the weekly free coupons wrapped inside a page of recipes and poorly-written articles about consuming, which I've been throwing in the general direction of your half-million dollar house, at the foot of your driveway, behind your fleet of massive urban vehicles and sleek-shiny sports cars, around the time your lawn sprinklers come on (even though it's been raining for the last two weeks).

          My boss said you want me to stop delivering the free "shopper" because:

          [  ]  You never read—always recycle—it, and want to reduce the waste of natural resources.
          [  ]  Are tired of having to walk to the end of your driveway to pick up "trash".
          [  ]  Get tongue-tied trying to pronounce, "deseche el comprador periódico" to your maid or gardener.
          [  ]  Hate hearing the grind-graction of tires/engine at wrong-side-of-the-road-speeds (and/or the thwack-sliizz of plastic wrapped paper on pavement at zero-dark-thirty).
          [  ]  Think what I'm doing is the equivalent of intentionally littering on your property.
          [  ]  All of the above and a bag of condescension.

          Please permit me to rebut thusly:

          I am a 20-year retired Army veteran (Yuup....the patriot card comes off the top of the deck).  Two months ago my fiancee lost her job at almost the same moment as her investment income disappeared; in one month my household wages were reduced by half...she's looking, but hasn't found a new job.  So.  I got a job delivering newspapers and "shoppers".  I have too much pride to be:

          And not just because it is impossible for me to be hypocritical (and pre-bless the charitable with the allure of sky cake) or that I refuserefuserefuse to hang a misspelled sign around my neck asking for charity.  Mostly—it's because I'm physically able to work.  They (advertisers) pay me approximately $1,500 a month to deliver about 450 papers a day as long as I work every day.  Which is enough.  For me.  To pay all my fucking bills.

          At this point I need an all-seriousness-aside bit, because this is getting too.  Way too.

          (1)  The combo-'refuserefuserefuse' makes me think about the first time I read the word 'orangered' and I thought, "Oranger-ed...as in a past tense state of more orange?  Why have I never heard that word before?"

          (2)  When I wrote the word physically in the paragraph above, I wanted to spell it fisically...but that's not right.  Right?  But it's not far off.

         Stop—dear neighbor.  Just stop.  Illuminating your façade with concern-colored spotlights draws attention to your garishly gargantuan footprint.  This is the point where the world that's off the hook on the other side of your television screen/computer monitor intrudes on your real day-to-day.

          Because I need that 8¢.

          Please.  Just take pride in the charity and throw away the evil plastic-wrapped (but still sopping wet) bundle of consumeconsumeconsumecoupons I'm paid to throw at the bottom of your driveway every week (or you could, maybe, learn to ask the help to do it).

Thnx,

—newspaperdudeveach (which, when you say fast, kinda sounds like nudebeach).

PS - If your 'stop delivery' rationale is natural resource based, please take a moment to pause and look at your residence from my vantage point.  Is stopping delivery of the "shopper" at the foot of your driveway the first place to start saving the planet?

PSS - I don't mind thoughtless condescension, I'm only asking that you don't stop the grocery/clothing/drug stores from paying me $3.84 a year to litter once a week on your property.

Thievery Corporation Concert

          Two pictures containing me in one week!  The first marking the endpoint in the goody bygone days of yore when I intentionally cropped myself out of everything (including bare legs) to impose a facade of pseudo-zorroloneranger-esque anonymity, while this pic is just some vaingloriously ridiculous Where's WaldVeacho foolishness.

          I'm wearing an orange shirt.

Can't Stop The Serenity

          Last weekend I was a volunteer for CSTS at the Hollywood Theater.  It's run annually by the PDX Browncoats and all profits are donated to charity.

          There were over 400 fantastic theater goers watching Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog and Serenity on the big screen, with an intermission Q&A with artist Patric Reynolds (of Dark Horse Comics fame).  The after-party was relaxing-interesting, except when I verbally stumble-said brownshirts after I'd imbibed the exact-right amount of libation to make that faux pas possible (corrected immediately by every Browncoat within earshot). 

Forest Camping (one more week)

Forest Camping

Disc Golf Stability Chart, overstable/understable

          While perusing SQUIRE for disc-golf information, I failed to find a succinctly written explanation which might assist novice discgolfers in disc selection; so, here are a few simple suggestions:

          You can play disc golf with only one disc.  Start with a very stable multi-purpose one (like a Vibram Ascent).  I recommend bright colors; why take a chance on losing it?

          Three discs are sufficient to attain good scores: a long-range driver that turns slightly at the end of its flight; a mid-range disc that turns slightly in the opposite direction of your driver; and a putter.

          Putters are soft and designed to absorb forward momentum and bend/drop on impact (with the target chains, hopefully).  Drivers and mid-range discs are hard and bounce/ricochet upon impact.

          Disc weights only become important once you refine your throw.  Heavy discs (more than 170 grams) fly longer and are less affected by cross-winds; light discs (less than 150 grams) are better for children.  Begin with medium driving and mid-range discs (150 to 170 grams).  The weight of your putting-disc is unimportant.

          Depending upon which hand you use and whether you throw sidearm or backhand, (some throw both) either a clockwise or counterclockwise spin is imparted on the disc.  Almost all discs 'fade slightly' or 'turn greatly' one way or the other, as they slow down at the end of their flight.  This chart should help you understand disc stability:

 
          Those discs which turn or fade in the same direction as their spin are referred to as under-stable.  The amount they fade is indicated in negative numbers:  -0.5 = slightly under-stable, -4.0 = very under-stable.  Discs which turn or fade in the opposite direction from their spin are referred to as over-stable.  The amount they fade is indicated in positive numbers: +0.5 = slightly over-stable, +4.0 = very over-stable.   (I use this key to remember these terms:  O = Opposite, Over-stable, pOsitive numbers).

          The driver and mid-range discs of beginners should be between .5 and 1.5 (If your first driver is over-stable your first mid-range disc should be under-stable and vice versa.)

          LOCAL PDX DISC GOLF COURSE:  If you're a discgolfer in the Portland area, the best place to play is Horning's Hideout.  They have three 18 hole courses.  All 54 holes have professional tee boxes, signage, and targets.  Their Meadow Ridge Course is ranked in the top ten nationally (and it'll kick your ass and send it home crying to momma if you're a bogey discgolfer...like me).  Their Canyon Course is my favorite and their Highland Course is fun and challenging.  The $3.00 day-fee and the 30-45 minute drive cuts down on lark-in-the-park-nutjobs.  Interested in a game?—veachglines@gmail.com—and I'll meet you there (as long as it isn't raining).

Sour Beer

A first.

I enjoy each and every "first" (as one should at my age).

Today it was sour beer.

It has sip-ability.  It's not a drink one can consume in quantity or at speed.  Think: SweeTarts or Sour Patch candy in a dark beer.    

World Bellydance Day Flashmob

     
          Portland's Pioneer Courthouse Square, 14 May 2001.  World Belly Dance Day.  Belly dance flashmob (choreographed, directed and produced by my fiancée).

The Dream of the 90s is Alive in Portland

Oh yes it is so alive. Here. That's where. (sleep 'til eleven.) New IFC series airs in a month. I intend to giggle at people like myself (and my homeboyzngirlz).

I know you are, but what am I?

          While eating at the very best German Restaurant in Portland, we asked the waitress about a large bag of water hanging eye-level over a window box of flowers just outside the front entrance. 

          Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.  —  Benjamin Franklin

solstice

Winter Solstice Haiku

dank and dreary might

rule this short day and long night

but wednesday is festivus

winter has begun
today earth has exactly
twenty-four months left

It's like rain...snow eave-en — Snagglepuss

Portland OR — Reasons (#1)

Proximity to MOM and POP

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: number one

Mountains, Ocean, Meadows, & Parks, Orchards, Playgrounds—the outdoors is really the main reason to love it here.

• Mount Hood, OR and Mount St. Helens, WA: Both are visible on clear days, both are 90 minutes away, and although both offer hiking and outdoor exploration, Mt Hood offers wonderful winter recreation areas (the Timberline Ski area on Mt. Hood has the only year-round ski resort in the continental US).

• The Pacific Ocean is two hours away. The Oregon coast is 363 miles long and the entire coast, by law, is public land. Because there are no private beaches, it’s possible to drive your car onto every beach with an access point. The longest driveable beach in Oregon is 17 miles long (110 miles away, in Washington, there is a longer one).

• With many hundreds of city, county, and state parks you are never more than a half-mile from a public green-space. The largest urban forest reserve in the US (51,000+ acres), is Forest Park—it is 8 miles long and contains 70 miles of trails. Once you begin hiking in this densely forested area, it’s impossible to remember you’re inside a large metropolitan city.

• Within a fifty-mile radius of Portland, there are hundreds of orchards and fruit/vegetable farms (U-pick seems to be available for everything) as well as dozens of city fountains that are not only for watching (in warm weather everyone climbs in, dips their feet, or splashes through).

• The Oregon outdoors is a playground for everyone. Add to this list two major rivers (Columbia and Willamette), waterfalls, gorges, an uncountable number of streams, creeks, lakes, ponds, marshes, dune areas, a dormant volcano in the center of the city, as well as quite a few nature preserves scattered everywhere and there are thousands of answers to the question, "where do you want to go-do this weekend?"

[NOTE: There is a unkept secret that 'it rains all the time' here. When people ask about the amount of precipitation (and how we deal with it) I've heard others foolishly try to quantify the 'all the time' portion. What I've learned, however, is qualification of: 'it rains' is more informative. If you've experienced the monsoons of the American southwest, the thunderstorms in the midwest, or the torrential downpours in the eastern or southern states, you know rain. Real rain—for those who have no understanding of the term (native Portlanders)—is a large quantity of water falling hard enough to soak your clothing all-the-way-to-the-underwear if you're stupid enough to dash to your mailbox without an umbrella. That is rain. Here? It drizzels some. It sprinkles other times. Some days it can be misty-foggy for hours and hours. Mostly, it never rains. When the weather forecast says 'rain,' I no longer bring a raincoat or umbrella. If I walk two miles 'in the rain'—the roots of my hair will be dry. It can be dismally grey here for many daze. It can be chilly and windy and damp-moist for weeks. There may be precipitation slowly drifting downward and accumulating on the ground a lot of the time. But. It. Rarely. Really. Rains.]

The secret of realizing the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment of existence is: to live dangerously! Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius! Send your ships out into uncharted seas! Live in conflict with your equals and with yourselves! Be robbers and ravagers as long as you cannot be rulers and owners, you men of knowledge! The time will soon be past when you could be content to live concealed in the woods like timid deer! — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

Portland OR — Reasons (#2)

Ingrained Optimistic Long-Term Outlook

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: number two

Every city may be a melange of windswept scents, familiar neighborhood sounds, preferred flavors, and an ever-present feel under one’s sole—combined with spaces wrought by people and time; but the “thing about” Portland (easy to know but difficult to glimpse) is that a conglomeration of intelligent decisions (past and present) were made by people, concerned about individuals and their 'rights' (never easy), which has formed this city’s je ne sais quoi element. Maybe some of those decisions can be appreciated in these snippets?:

• In the 1970's a two-mile section of highway adjacent to the Willamette River was demolished; in its place, a 22-block long/29 acre public park was built.
• The Oregon Lottery has grown since 1984 to encompass: video lottery machines, keno, scratch-its, megabucks, and powerball.
• Begun in 1917, the International Rose Test Garden covers 4.5 acres and contains over 7,000 rose plants of approximately 550 varieties.
• Although domestic partnerships and civil unions are legal, Oregon still has not legalized same-sex marriages (like the more forward-thinking states of Massachusetts and Connecticut).
• Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden, a 9½ acre garden adjoining Reed College, features more than 2,500 rhododendron, azalea, and companion plants.
• Oregon's Death with Dignity Act allows physicians to assist certain terminally ill patients (who request it) to end their lives with a lethal prescription.
• Oaks Amusement Park and Skating Rink has been open since 1905. The Oregon Zoo has promoted conservation since 1887. Founded in 1944, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry is one of the nation's leading science museums.
• Capital Punishment (currently by lethal injection) is legal in Oregon. The death penalty is a jury-option for the crime of Aggravated Murder only.
• Hoyt Arboretum, a 187-acre refuge with 21 trails covering 12 miles and containing over 1,000 true species, began in 1930. All specimens have been grown from seeds collected in the wild.
• Recently Oregon joined the smarter-half of the US by banning all smoking in every public location, including bars and restaurants.
• The Portland Classical Chinese Garden opened in 2000. Almost an acre in size and located in historic old town Chinatown, the teahouse brings together the beauty and symbolism of the garden with Chinese traditional tea culture.
• In 1973, Oregon became the first state to decriminalize cannabis. Possession of less than an ounce is a misdemeanor (like a traffic violation). Medical marijuana is legal.
• The 5.5 acre Japanese Gardens have delighted visitors since 1967. All five: Strolling Pond Garden, Natural Garden, Sand and Stone Garden, Flat Garden, and Tea Garden, are peaceful and tranquil.
• Carrying a knife of any length (switchblade to sword) is legal—as long as it’s not concealed. Oregon is a shall-issue concealed pistol license state, and has very few restrictions on where a concealed firearm may be carried.
• The Keep Portland Weird slogan has its roots in:
  
  1. Voodoo Doughnuts, open 24 hours for unique pastry treats and wedding ceremonies.
  2. For indoor, glow in the dark, pirate-themed, mini-golf, try Glowing Greens.
  3. We have an annual Adult Soapbox Derby, and yes there will be injuries.
  4. Exploring the Portland Underground or Shanghai Tunnels is weird-worthy.
  5. Of course, this list would not be complete without including the smallest park in the world.

Art is not merely an imitation of the reality of nature, but in truth a metaphysical supplement to the reality of nature, placed alongside thereof for its conquest. — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

Portland OR — Reasons (#3)

Craftsmanship Pride

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number three.

I—like everyone—have heard the 'where's the pride in craftsmanship anymore?' complaint for so many years I thought it was a rhetorical question. It's not. Pride in one's craft only comes when your product is appreciated, purchased, admired, and desired. Since the trend toward more inexpensive IKEA products and nicer furniture from China is not reversible, the craftsmen and women of today are making wonderful products in my neck of the woods (and my neighbors and I appreciate them by the mug, plate, glass, bottle, and ticket on a frequent basis):

• With 47 different brewing facilities within a 30-mile radius of the city (450 beer labels) this is the micro brew center of the world.
• Over 30 wineries in the northern Oregon area make this a wine-lovers wonderland.
• A handful of distilleries are catching hold, and besides unique local vodkas and other liquors, absinthe is now locally produced and available for legal consumption.
• There are two local brothers: Mike and Brian McMenamin, who should be canonized by the Revitalized Congregation of Our Dearly Inebriated. They have brought new life into dozens of wonderful old buildings—including a 1920's-era Art Deco Vaudeville theater, a fully restored 1910's-era Ballroom with its "floating dance floor", and a Masonic retirement home—by turning/returning them into movie houses, brewpubs, hotels, and music venues. McMenamins: true pride in local craftsmanship.

There's a moment for everyone when you fall into your own shadow and the fact is that it's your shadow and you're forced to live in it. And this is nothing to celebrate or not celebrate. It simply is. — Robert Rauschenberg (1925-2008)

Portland OR — Reasons (#4)

Non-walmartization

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number four.

There are three Wal-Marts for 2.1 million residents of this city and its two dozen suburbs (the suburbs in Washington don't count because of reason number ten). There are some big-box stores (positioned near the Washington border, again see #10) and of course there are chain stores and chain restaurants and chain fast-food joints...my point is more about the gestalt of the consumer mindset (of which 'only 3 Wal-Marts' is merely the grabber).

The abundance and diversity of: green-grocers, vinyl record shops, cafe's, small businesses, independent stores, boutiques, art galleries, antique malls, vintage/retro-clothing stores, diners, used CD stores, non-franchise restaurants, et cetera — contrasted against the relative paucity of empty store fronts — indicates this consumer mindset is extremely vibrant. The nine-months-out-of-the-year, weekend-craft/art/food/music market is the flagship of this rare but fantastic mindset.

Every time I've moved, my work has changed radically. — Robert Rauschenberg (1925-2008)

Portland OR — Reasons (#5)

Get-around-ability

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number five.

Many cities have some of these effective, "green", and positive transportation qualities, and some have many of them, but only Portland has all:

• Fully integrated metropolitan-suburban bus system.
• Major light-rail system connecting many eastern, western, and northern suburbs (growing to the south).
• Trolley-cars covering the downtown area.
• Extensive bicycle paths, lanes, and secure parking areas (some covered). A very "bicycle/alternative transportation (alt-trans) friendly" environment.
  
• Bicycle racks on the front of most buses and inside all train cars.
• Laws permitting/promoting alt-trans on most public streets and sidewalks (skateboards, roller-blades, Segways, scooters, etc.).
• A convenient international airport connected to every transportation system.
• A huge fair-less downtown zone where all public transportation is free.
• No sedan chairs and footmen, which is a shame, but there are always bicycle carts downtown (at all hours).
  

Ideas of...relaxed symmetry have been something—for years—that I've been concerned with because I think that symmetry is a neutral shape as opposed to a form of design. — Robert Rauschenberg (1925-2008)

Portland OR — Reasons (#6)

Bookstores

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number six.

A conducive climate exists here, literally and figuratively, for a proliferation of bookstores. The desire to escape the dreary autumn-thru-winter weather—inside a book—has given rise to a plethora of new and used bookstores. The best and favorite are the Powell's stores, of which there are at least five (the largest of which covers a city block x 4 stories tall). Also, there are dozens of specialty stores (used paperbacks, comics, etc.), a few national chains (Borders, B. Dalton), and a wonderful library system.

Are we foolish to be so elated by books in an age of movies and television? Not in the least, for our ability to read, when combined with libraries...makes us the freest of women and men - and children. — Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday (1999)

Portland OR — Reasons (#7)

Voting Simplicity

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number seven

Step one: register to vote (like in every state).
Step two: receive ballot in the mail along with booklets detailing all propositions (including pro/con arguments)...about two weeks before election day.
Step three: fill ballot out.
Step four: seal ballot in your preprinted security envelope, sign outside of envelope, and place it inside another envelope.
Step three: mail ballot; or drive to polling station and drop it off at a drive-thru (and save the cost of a stamp); or if you have questions or need assistance you can take it inside and vote in a booth. I mailed mine. This is the easiest, most comfortable way to vote. I can't understand why every state doesn't have this capability.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. — Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

Portland OR — Reasons (#8)

Art Theaters

A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number eight.

Cinema 21, Bagdad Theater & pub, Hollywood Theater, Living room Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, Clinton Street Theater, Mission Theater & Pub, St. John's Theater & Pub—that's eight art theaters. There are also several dozen cinemaplexes throughout the greater PDX-metro area (some devote an occasional screen to foreign/art-house films, one seems to dedicate half of it's screens on a constant basis to art & inde films).

...I want to stay as close on the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center ... big, undreamed-of things—the people on the edge see them first. — Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano (1952)