- St Johns Elementary - brooms, buffers, mops, toilet brushes, and incinerator duty.
- Peru Country Club - cart/club rental and cleaning, pro shop sales, spying on the lifeguard in the red one-piece, listening to the radio, stealing orange soda all day and playing in the evening for free.
- Peru Animal Hospital - assist with surgeries, clean runs and cages, clean everything, learn not to use abrasive cleaner on metal, gain insight into: I may not want to become a veterinarian.
- Essex Wire (weekend midnight shift) - injection mold presses (hot and boring), cardboard box construction; learn to despise: solely-for-a-paycheck jobs and the zombies who've done them for so-long they hate any spark of intelligence (brains!).
- Mississinewa Lake State Park - lawn mowers, tractors (learn to drive a stick), garbage truck detail, public-park latrine duty, paint brushes, chain saw, back hoe, weed-eaters, poison ivy; "Lefty" Graf's obsession with road-side cleanup.
- The Chocolate Factory - sandwich preparation, ice cream cones, robbed by a con artist; learn to despise: retail food service jobs, juvenile employees (all of them) and customers (all of them).
- Milwaukee Metal Products - brake-press operator (bending metal); erase any doubt about how to become a zombie.
- McKinley Marina - fee collection boat ramp, gas-jockey on a pier, security guard.
- infantryman - clean (everything is always dirty), type, drive, run (a lot), exercise, set up/tear down equipment, practice to use large killing machines (some of the machines themselves are large; some are small but the killing is large), practice to use equipment to protect from getting killed (large and small); learn to unequivocally despise every aspect of being a soldier (bar none).
- militarypoliceman - clean, type, drive (sometimes, really fast), run (less), exercise, give traffic citations, supervise some fucknuts, break-up fights, investigate petty dumbass-soldier crimes, practice using killing machines (one-on-one sized), practice using equipment to protect from getting killed (also small), help a small handful of people who needed it; learn there's too much soldier-stuff in MP-stuff.
- bodyguard - type, drive (rarely, really fast), run (again, little less), help babysit a couple of over-privileged grown adults and reinforce their pampered lifestyle; learn to despise snobs and elitists—even while protecting them from harm.
- criminal investigator - type, drive (mostly slow), run (much less), supervise some good people (and, still, some fucknuts), investigate serious felonies/deaths/thefts, incarcerate hundreds of bad to very-bad people, help thousands of people who needed it; learn "this bed's just right".
- artist - pens, inks, paper, canvas, brushes, computer screen & mouse, paint, giclee prints; learn peace of mind is blissful and the flow of creating gives me peace of mind.
- (updated Jun 2012) newspaper carrier - insert, load, drive (very slow), bag, throw; groundhog day never ends; realize the depths I will go to pay bills/stay with the one I love.
- (updated Oct 2014) rental car driver / cleaner - drive, clean, vacuum, wash, rinse, repeat. Bills caught up = quit.
- (updated Oct 2022) census-bureau clerk - call-center recruiter, data input, remind myself how miserably-bad government work is, and how miserably-terrible at least half the people in the world are; after catching C-19 = quit.
Jobs
Following in the footsteps of Mr Allen—of Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons—who enjoys Vonnegut and (accordingly) has, maybe, the best esoteric name for a personal-blog (with Shouting to hear the echoes, still, the best in the non-esoterica category *wink*), I provide my list of jobs:
Synecdoche, New York = must see
Charlie Kaufman has just become one of my favorite directors.
The writer of such wonderfully bizarre films as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (which he also produced) and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind has now accomplished a filmic-feat with very few peers: Synecdoche, New York — a work of existentialist art which transcends all accurate description.
You could read any two-dozen of these articles on MQRE about it and still be unprepared for the complex, phenomenal, accomplishments of Philip Seymour Hoffman (whom I suspect will win an Oscar), Samantha Morton, and Emily Watson.
If you are not highly entertained by films which challenge your thought processes, this film is not for you. Since Kaufman wrote, directed, and produced (his first in the director's chair) it is more complex, more convoluted and more cram-filled with metaphor and allegory than his previous films. Think Adaptation (one of his) meets American Spendor, with the intimacy of Requiem for a Dream and the humor of Being John Malkovich (also, one of his).
Synecdoche, NY, Charlie Kaufman, film, Philip Seymour Hoffman, movies
Portland OR — Reasons (#7)
Voting SimplicityA dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number seven
Step one: register to vote (like in every state).
Step two: receive ballot in the mail along with booklets detailing all propositions (including pro/con arguments)...about two weeks before election day.
Step three: fill ballot out.
Step four: seal ballot in your preprinted security envelope, sign outside of envelope, and place it inside another envelope.
Step three: mail ballot; or drive to polling station and drop it off at a drive-thru (and save the cost of a stamp); or if you have questions or need assistance you can take it inside and vote in a booth. I mailed mine. This is the easiest, most comfortable way to vote. I can't understand why every state doesn't have this capability.
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. — Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)
Why do you live there?
Many people never move. Ever. They were born in the same hospital as their momma, went to school seven blocks over, graduated, got married, and their children were born there too. They still are friends with the same people they pushed down at recess. They drive out of their neighborhood, but only to the nearest market. And they say, "A one-hour drive?..there better be front-row seats."
Why do you live where you do? Do you aspire to move to fulfill a dream or goal? Have you always loved your environs? If not, where do you want to move?
more about moving:
Portland OR — Reasons (#8)
Art TheatersA dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number eight.
Cinema 21, Bagdad Theater & pub, Hollywood Theater, Living room Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, Clinton Street Theater, Mission Theater & Pub, St. John's Theater & Pub—that's eight art theaters. There are also several dozen cinemaplexes throughout the greater PDX-metro area (some devote an occasional screen to foreign/art-house films, one seems to dedicate half of it's screens on a constant basis to art & inde films).
...I want to stay as close on the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center ... big, undreamed-of things—the people on the edge see them first. — Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano (1952)
Portland OR — Reasons (#9)
Urban Boundary Lines (UBL) A dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number nine
Decades ago, urban planners passed laws to control 'urban sprawl' by drawing lines around cities and prohibiting all re-zoning outside the UBL. When communities can't expand, they become denser. The down sides: flag lots and urban row houses. The up sides: when you drive out of the city, the country shows up quickly. Farmers on the outskirts (who would have sold to developers if they could) now sell land to mini-agri-businesses, farm co-ops, and small independent farmers (the direct result of which is almost year-round availability of fresh foods at several fantastic Farmers Markets).
I can't think in terms of boundaries. Those imaginary lines are as unreal to me as elves and pixies. I can't believe that they mark the end or the beginning of anything of real concern to the human soul. Virtues and vices, pleasures and pains cross boundaries at will. — Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night (1961)
Portland OR — Reasons (#10)
No Sales TaxA dozen rational reasons to enjoy living in Portland, Oregon: Number ten
Oregon is not unique in its lack of a sales tax; other states have none as well. I find it to be a refreshing new-experience to go to the checkout counter and pay exactly the sticker price (especially when the sticker price is large). After living here a while, it may fade into a forgotten bonus, but a quick reminder is always available: shop a few miles north in Washington.
New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become. — Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions (1973)
Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar
Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes by Thomas CathcartMy review
rating: 4 of 5 stars
Philosophy has interested me for deades, but I—unfortunately—have gotten lost in other authors' need to impress their peers. This book is for the everyman. It makes this esoteric subject readable, and, more importantly, understandable.
As an example of 'inductive logic' (reasoning from specific instances to a general conclusion, that is broader than what can logically inferred from the instances):
A man is driving down the road.
A woman is driving up the same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out her window, "Pig!"
The man shouts back, "Bitch!"
The man rounds the next curve, crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road, and dies.
The "funny" here, is the man used 'inductive logic'. He reasoned that every time a woman has called him a 'pig' in the past, was because she was negatively describing his character; therefore he concluded that this woman must be doing the same, and called her a 'bitch'. His 'crashing into a pig' proves that his logic was faulty and that what has always come before is not proof of what will come in the future.
Previous Reviews
greypopcorn
As you know, it is not enough for a reader to pick up the little symbols from a page with his eyes ... Once we get those symbols inside our heads and in the proper order, then we must clothe them in gloom or joy or apathy, in love or hate, in anger or peacefulness, or however the author intended them to be clothed. In order to be good readers, we must even recognize irony—which is when a writer says one thing and really means another, contradicting himself in what he believes to be a beguiling cause. — Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday (1981)
Electoral College Opinion
Thank you, veterans. I am one, know many still serving and many more who once served. My thoughts are with you as I write:I, like most, have been vaguely aware of our Electoral College system since a long-ago High School American History class (about the same time I learned we bought Alaska from the former USSR on the cheap). Since then, I have propped-up my end of several conversations by parroting some long-forgotten opinion-maker who must have decried loud enough for me to take note that: 'our antiquated system smothers the popular vote'. It was an effective way to pretend to have more intelligence than I held title to; everyone sounds more passionate riding a strong negative opinion.
Today I ask: why are so many people (who may not even understand the system, and the reasons behind it) against our electoral college?
The framers of our constitution certainly knew why a nation-wide popular vote was impractical. They were aware that we humans are supremely ignorant people. We (the royal we) are: too easily led; too stupid to be trusted with our own self-preservation; and should never, never, never, be given something as valuable and important as electing a president without oversight. Thus, we elect a group of intelligentsia-esque politicos who, in turn, elect the president and vice president. They provide a much-needed buffer by injecting careful and calm deliberation into the process of selecting the most qualified candidate. (I thank them for their future service every time the phrase 'Palin 2016' leaves the lips of some talking-supermodel-esque-head, whom I watch in HD but hope-dies-a-painful-videotaped-death for even forming the thought.)
The members of the electoral college are nothing more than judges; judging before the new president and vice president take over the Executive Branch of the US government. They are tasked with deciding for us, when we may be too stupid for our own good (please feel free to supplant the word 'stupid' with the word 'religious' as needed).
We (or, at least the Californian-we) needed an 'electoral college buffer' in place, when voting on Proposition 8. If they only had a group of people, smarter than the average stupid-fucknut (feel free: 'stupid-fucknut'/'religious-fucknut') then we would not be witnessing a reversal of civil rights. But...I guess there is a group of intelligentsia in place, isn't there?—and they are called California State Supreme Court Judges. Who will now need to do, after the fact, what the mentally infirm majority of Californian voters were incapable of doing: enforce equality under the law on the majority of stupid-haters who follow without question (the purest definition of 'stupid-belief') a few vaingloriously bigoted stupid-leaders.
Other states, as choc-a-bloc full of stupid-hating fucknuts as they are, will be force-guided away from their bigotry some day too. As will the entire country. Someday we will see a Federal Constitutional Amendment that will force equality in every aspect of 'sexual orientation' including the right of same-sex couples to bind themselves legally in a ceremony (which will last about 50% of the time). And, someday we will elect an openly gay US President.
This prophecy doesn't sound as hollow as it once would; does it?
As a retired member of the US Armed Forces, I served to protect the rights of Americans. Does that sentence require "all" in front of "Americans"? I protected against hatred and bigotry maybe MORE than criminal activity and physical harm. One positive thing: our ever-present 'enemy within' (unforgivably stupid, hate-filled American citizens) are eroding. Slowly. Much too slowly for me at times.
Veterans Day, Proposition 8, gay rights, same-sex marriage, electoral college
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