Defined by—after one recalls them—the simple word: regrets, Sterger Memories are those thoughts, which fill-in-the-blanks in sentences like this one: "I wish I did not choose - blank - when I considered - blank - and instead opted to - blank - which (because of current circumstances) I now regret not choosing at the time."
Everyone's metaphorical bin o' memory contains some surviving ideas, loose concepts, sketched plans, untaken suggestions, and never-realized fantasies pertaining to their previous "paths-not-taken". We form these Sterger Memories whenever we deliberate long and strongly enough over some decision we considered serious enough, important enough, valuable enough, or irrevocable enough to require a sufficient amount of self-deliberation to "weigh our options," or "formulate a contingency plan," or "diligently exercise caution," before we choose our correct next course of action.
Humans normally only recall Sterger Memories after coming-to-realize (discovering too late) that they're now presently, willfully, meandering down another wrong path!—and they realize the need to make another crucial decision. Realizing the need to correct course causes humans to think back. In their rear-view-mirror, they recognize their previous unchosen options they had once considered (or should have considered). These are not yet regrets; these are still Sterger Memories. The human who re-considers their Sterger Memories with new, more-experienced, eyes and wishes they had not wasted their own time (feels regret) can opt to incorporate those re-recalled memories into their correct next decision. Or not.
If-and-when we find ourselves in a place in our lives, which we feel contentment-with or sublime satisfaction-in (this perfect path we're currently on) what benefit might be gained from recalling the other options we once carefully weighed and then discarded (besides self-congratulatory ones)? When we "have no regrets" our Sterger Memories, surrounding the sufficiently content path we chose, are left un-recalled.
Over the decades, Sam Landlord amassed several profitable apartment buildings. The income they generated kept he and his family wealthy into his retirement years. When Sam turned 65 years old, he decided to keep all of the apartment buildings until after he turned 70. Sam made that decision because he considered maintaining and managing the buildings might become a burden as he aged; Sam did not want the managerial duties and up-keep chores to become too difficult.
Turning 70 when Covid-19 began, Sam could not sell any of his apartment buildings. Today, three years later than planned, Sam wishes he could quickly sell all his properties. The housing market is being bludgeoned by the economy; inflation is racing recession into the guardrails; eviction moratoriums took some toll on Sam; and, now, he recalls the Sterger Memories he made when he turned 65.
Sam recalls deciding not to sell the properties for various different reasons, which made logical sense in 2015. Now, however, Sam constantly trips over the idea that he would be so much better off today, if he had sold the properties back then. "I'd have profited several tens-of-thousands-of-dollars-less, but the lack of today's strife, reduction in constant stress, and the time-savings, would make that loss worth every penny!" Sam chides himself. Sam's almost-forgotten Sterger Memories have become regrets.
If Sam had decided, in 2015, that he was as "comfortably satisfied" as he could-be and chose to sell one property a year (so as to not be burdened by the Federal Capital Gains Tax) between 2015 and 2019, he would have no reason to recall one of his Sterger Memories had been an option to retain all the properties until after he turned 70. In that unrealized universe, those Sterger Memories never got turned into regrets by Sam.
Sterger Memories Become "Buyers Remorse":
It's rarely possible to recall previous options unless lengthy deliberation occurred. Recalling the options we ultimately did not choose, becomes harder and harder as time passes, and we confirm (to ourselves and others) that we're satisfied and have no regrets.
We are not able to tell ourselves to, "forget those unneeded details." Instead, we allow our minds to forget things by the simple act of not recalling them. If we did not deliberate or dwell on any given decision, for any sufficient length of time, the "other options" would not, therefore, have been contemplated long enough to be "saved". No deliberate-contemplation results in no Sterger Memories available from which to form future regrets.
How was lunch with Ms Snapperhead? Fine. What did you eat? Aahh Chicken Tettrazzini with a slice of homemade pie; field-berry Γ la mode! What were some of the menu choices you considered but didn't choose, and why did you decide not to eat them? I'm sorry, I don't recall.
Retention of one's Sterger Memories relating to a recent successful decision is normally done without even consciously realizing it. However, if one eventually realizes their decision was made in error, they can then-immediately recall their Sterger Memories, which are now labelled as 'regrets'.
Congratulations on the new job! How are things going so far? I don't know; things could be better. Oh, how so? Well the section supervisor is a real piece of work. And, I had no idea that this company would be so authoritarian about anyone checking-or-taking-their-phone-out during work hours. And, maybe it's just me, but there's this ass-hat who irritates me all day long with their grating tone of voice.
Efficiency Causes Sterger Memories (everywhere):
This is definitely not a strictly-human process. Every living entity (including single-celled organisms) that utilize limited energy resources in order to enhance their survival, prioritizes their movements towards a more-efficient capacity. A mouse learns the maze. A branch pivots to keep its leaves in sunlight. A salmon returns to the only safe spawning grounds it's capable of recalling.
And—while an average human tries to carry too many items at one time, because they 'decided' making several trips would, presumably, be less efficient (result in an increase in fatigue, cause additional levels of irritation, et cetera)—a single-celled pond-scum bacterium tries to escape being eaten by a nearby bacterium, of the same species, by shift-sliding away from their cannibalistic-relative in the most efficient manner possible, in accordance with the amount of energy it has available.
Conclusion Given: 3 years ago I clearly didn't understand Nietzsche's Love Fateπ€
Whether the "drive-toward-efficient-decisions" can be referred to as "innate"; or if that drive is able to save a single cell's existence for a few more minutes of "life"; or if it only results in "saving" a few more minutes of human energy-time—Sterger Memories are only able to become regrets if we want them to. (Note to Self: Re-read that very complex sentence until it clicks!)
If we do not decide-to-value (from now on and forevermore) the incremental knowledge we gain from experiencing every and all the events which involve testing the current path we are on, in lock-step with: choose-deciding when it's the appropriate time to give a different path a try—versus—continuing on the same path (revealing a constant undercurrent of everything related to the microseconds of conservation of energy going on at a below-cellular level*) all-the-while trusting that we will derive more enjoyment from exploring and learning from this current-new-previous path, for a sufficiently comfortable amount of "additional-experience-time" AND definitely not ever, never, wishing to have avoided the potholes and pitfalls which were never, not ever, going to have been visible, predictable, or imagined from the vantage point of yesterday. This is how you avoid regrets.
You would never desire imagining Self flagellation, if you decide-choose, instead, to enjoy the challenges (love all the everything's, which chaotic fate has allowed you to recognize as opportunities for growth). Chaotic fate possesses no ability to conspire. This one-way attitude is how to understand Nietzsche's Amor Fati (Love Fate).
I chose when I thought it would be appropriate to choose and will choose when I think it will again Be. Wishing to walk one path unerringly is ignorantly wishing for the most pleasurable death-time and death-experience. Loving the cautious 'skip' over potholes and the care-full 'deviation' around pitfalls, just means you enjoy the experience of learning what life has randomly removed from its store-room for you to become a better you.
I suspect these last four paragraphs are both easily understood and at-the-same-time undecipherable by 99.9% of people who read them. Even if I highlight the message and scream it loudly, only those very-few others, who've become self-aware, will interpret them through the lens of not knowing what Love Fate means and recognize it has value as truth.
If this is you, come back in a time when you are back here. If then, these paragraphs hit harder and smell more comfortable. Well. Hello.
* I'm not able to state that atoms have awareness. Nor am I able to state that sub-atomic particles act with intent. But I'm also not able to state any-everything-else, which I've not become aware of by experience as being true. Or false. Or neither.
π€ This Exercise in Testing Awareness of Self might only work for those who also (previous to their own self-awareness) didn't understand the benefit of Amor Fati, or why Nietzsche wrote about it as he did. Although it's entirely possible I (merely) became this-fuckin-much smarter in the last few years, which resulted in my ability to understand Amor Fati, write about it cogently, and put it into practice...I recall that this complex-level of understanding came into awareness during one session of self-contemplation.
Final Word (footnote under the footnotes): If you do not understand Amor Fati—after reading about Sterger Memories—then it will no-doubt come as a shock that I made all this up from 'whole cloth'. The word sterger is regrets spelled backwards. This is original thought on the page! This is how a philosopher do (*in a Zefrank tone of voice*) -bitch.
More Go On and Ego One More:
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