Most personality traits, self-values, and character flaws, exist on a spectrum. Picture a teeter-totter between two extremes—embracing one extreme, automatically-requires rejecting its opposite.
Imagine that at one end of this teeter-totter is an elf who thinks of itself as the only playable character in the game, and it believes-with-every-thought that everything's a game. This elf assumes every other elf thinks of themselves in exactly the same manner ("no matter what those other foolish elves may claim to profess"). This extremely ego-maniacal elf is absolutely un-apologetically self-absorbed (and, as such, is incapable of imagining thinking in any other way).
The elf at this end of the teeter-totter spectrum has an animalistic blind spot (also referred-to as a predatory blind-spot) which prevents them from conceptualizing a non-competitive existence. It's inconceivable, to the egoist, that any elf would give away a benefit unless doing-so provides some benefit to themself. In this elf's mind, giving away something they-themself value would be the equivalent of intentionally losing. The egoist-elf considers everything a competition; anyone not winning is losing.
Opposite the egoist-elf (also referred-to as a taking elf) is a benevolent giving-elf. Fully aware it is but one single individual in an entire generation of other individuals, this elf has no difficulty realizing that there were an uncountable number of generations before it, and that there will be an unknowable quantity of generations to follow it. With that awareness, this elf helps others and is as altruistic and conscientious as possible; always providing kind elf-words of encouragement or praise.
The giving-elf (also referred-to as a self-effacing elf) understands the rationality of this logic:
- Everything (including a shelf elf) has a shelf life.
- Ubiquitous expiry dates means there are no winners.
- No winners equals (is equivalent to) no losers.
- Winners and losers are the result of competition.
Conclusion: Elf existence can not be an actual competition.
The giving elf realizes that anything which hurts more than it helps is obviously detrimental and should be avoided when possible. Which leads them to conclude that all instances of negativity must only be temporary aberrations in an overall positive absolute.
Determining sElf Location:
Vicarious embarrassment (also referred-to as empathic embarrassment) occurs when one sElf feels embarrassed for some other sElf. The sElf "being felt embarrassed-for" doesn't need to be aware of their predicament (or why another sElf might perceive that they are in a predicament) nor feel any embarrassment themselves.
This way of conceptualizing insures not (confusing yoursElf by) utilizing "wishful thinking" (and then questioning your sElf-reasoning) which feels like rationalizing-away the inability to be objective about your sElf. Because—just like it's impossible to feel fake sexual attraction—it's not possible to feel fake vicarious embarrassment.
At the risk of redundancy, I will re-phrase the last paragraph: While it is possible to falsely perform the outward appearances of sexual attraction or embarrassment (vicarious or not) the sElf who chooses to pretend fake emotions still knows what, if any, emotions they feel. One may deny any and all emotions, but—normally—they are always somewhere on a spectrum:
The sexual attraction spectrum: feminine - to both - to neither - to both - to masculine.
The embarrass—proud spectrum: pride - to both - to neither - to both - to embarrassment.
If one were feeling the opposite of embarrassment for an sElf, one would feel pride for them.
Placement on the teeter-totter depends on answering the following:
For which—the giving-elf or the egoist-elf—do you feel any vicarious embarrassment for?
How strongly?
For which—the giving-elf or the egoist-elf—do you feel any vicarious pride for?
If cognizant that you never feel vicarious embarrassment nor vicarious pride you may have a reduced ability to empathize, the pathological dis-function of none, or you may be emotionally immature.
Your answers have placed you somewhere between the giving-elf and the egoist-elf on the emotional spectrum. Movement on the spectrum depends on all your present moments (from-now-on) and (in every subsequent moment) where you desire to move: Toward where you feel pride-for . . . or toward where you feel embarrassed-for.
Use this advice in any way you desire.
My elf is thinking of yours, respectfully, at this moment in time (no matter who or where you are).
more help-elf:
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