Re-collecting Memories ❹ the fourth dozen

← the first dozen

← the second dozen

← the third dozen

1996       37         Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - first home purchase - two acres, two outbuildings, two-car garage, no landlord, no neighbor noise - discover pleasures and pitfalls of home ownership.  Self-sufficient.  Knowledgeable.  Finally all grown up.  Now I'm fully qualified for my "adulting credentials". 
                            Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - sister sues our deceased step-father's estate - half sister is executrix - despicable greed dominates my entire immediate family - rift(s) in family relationships are irrevocably widened - attempt to distance myself.  Adrift.  Confused.  Disdainful.  Unaware (eventually, I become aware).

1997       38         Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - observe the northern lights - green or red-tinged green aurora borealis a half-dozen times (distant glow as well as slowly undulating close-up ribbons).  Amazed.  Serene.  Entranced.  Lucky.
                            Stuttgart, Germany - CW2 - temp SAC - conduct preliminary investigation on a recent allegation of a 50-year-old US war-crime (from WWII) - informed US soldiers shot and murdered German POWs (interview two eyewitnesses and a survivor).  Disillusioned.  Ashamed of previous service members.  Embarrassed by my own naïveté.

 

1998       39         Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - witness a massive meteor storm - cold and mostly cloudy night (about 1am EST) - meteor showers, normally measured in meteors per minute or hour — I witnessed hundreds per second for about 20 minutes (until clouds blocked the sky) - the event was so unknown/unusual I didn't know what I was seeing - call everyone to ask what they see - no mention in local or national news the next day - still no mention of a massive meteor storm in 1998 on the internet - Awestruck.  Overwhelmed.  Dumbfounded.  Wonder if this was an unexpected, once-in-a-hundred-lifetimes-event, hidden from most people who could have seen it by 99% cloud cover.
                            Fort Drum, NY - CW2 - struggle shiver-slog thru devastating state-wide ice storm - most of northern NY state without electricity for a week (my house for eleven days) - millions of trees broken, thousands of power-lines down, hundreds of blocked roads, damaged windows, burst pipes (wood stove = lifesaver).  Stressed.  Challenged.  Extremely uncomfortable.  (Albeit, there was a certain beauty in everything covered in thick ice).

1999       40         Wiesbaden, Germany - CW2 - obtain PADI certification during two-week Jamaica vacation - scuba dive with sting rays - moray eel - catch crabs in make-shift net.  Skill-thrilled.  Excited.  Proud to become a member of an exclusive explorer club. 
                            Wiesbaden, Germany - CW2 -  learn I possess 50% of Asperger's Syndrome traits - knowledge of the label is initially very discomfiting - I tell no one.  Different.  Odd.  No longer "just" an uber-introvert.  (In 2015 Asperger's is re-labeled part of ASD, but I've gotten comfortable wearing the label for over a decade, so informing others to explain lack of eye contact, hyper-attention to detail, and my disdain for small-talk, just makes things easier.)

2000       41         Wiesbaden, Germany - CW3 - scuba dive vacation - Red Sea, Egypt - sharks, turtle, eel, giant purple-blueish clam, thousands of jelly fish, night-dive, wreck-dive, drift-dive, deep-dive - also visit Caro, Valley of the Kings.  Pleased.  Excited.  Lucky.
                            Wiesbaden, Germany - CW3 - excruciatingly painful ear infection - no doctors provide sufficient medicine to help (neither local emergency room nor military clinic) - four days of hell - can't get out of bed - infection returns in a month - then one medic (exception proving the rule) gives me a Z-pack - cures it in a day - reconfirm my distrust of doctors.  Fear return infection.  Angry.

2001       42         Kosovo - CW3 - 30 day vacation in Australia - tree house in rain-forest - outback hike - deep-sea fishing - snorkeling lizard island - scuba live-aboard Coral Sea and GBR - Sydney - Cairns - bat cave - wildfires - cane frogs - fruit bat - deadly plants - feed tree possums!   Mind-expanding.  Wonderfully entertained.   Perfect retirement present to myself.  Over-inundated by unique beauty, new information, and first-time experiences.   
                            Kaiserslautern, Germany - CW3 - every aspect of my life for the last six months of my career =  worst of entire career:  housing (3rd floor stairwell apt) neighbors (rude-noisy) job (paper-pusher) commute (90-minute autobahn one-way) supervisor (dull clock-watcher) office (tightly shared with 3 coworkers) home (tightly shared with unemployed/unhappy wife, divorced step-daughter, and her child) stress (all of the above and 9/11, Afghanistan, Iraq, retirement postponement "stop-loss" possible / retirement planning / vacation planning) creativity (nonexistent).  Light at the end of the tunnel kept me sane.  Teetering on brink of mental exhaustion.  Surrounded by careless-people and people who don't care (there is a difference).  Lonely.  On edge.  Frayed.

2002       43         Prescott, AZ - Retired - nomadic for 6 months - remote camping - camp sites - motels - friends / family - purchase a 5th wheel trailer - explore the sunny SW states of  TX, CO, NM, UT, AZ, NV - hike with my cat, Gus.  Relaxed.  Unfettered.  Perfectly retired.  Mentally rested.  Creativity returning slowly.
                            Prescott, AZ - Retired - waking-blackout for two hours - consume too much of the wrong-stuff at the worst concert of my life.  Sheepish.  Foolish.  Garrulously stupid.

2003       44         Prescott, AZ - separate and file for divorce - discover (like a color-blind person being handed a pair of enchroma glasses) that I'd become mostly unaware of the extent and depth of my own unhappyness - no longer emphatically absorbing the ever-fluctuating moods of an never-contented spouse.  Ecstatic.  Never a moment of regret or disappointment.
                            Phoenix, AZ - new relationship - great company - good communication - move to where she works - willing to keep myself occupied until she's ready to move away from the hot-terrible city.  Happy.  Cautious (new-relationship training-wheels).  Pleased with our joint-luck of finding each other.  Wonderfully compatible. 

2004       45         Phoenix, AZ - start s n a p p e r h e a d - creative outlet without demands (except those set by myself) - learn HTML - begin digital composite found-art (garage is 120 degrees = too hot to paint).  Comfortable.  Satisfied.  Fully engaged with my imagination.  Creative engine revving back to high-speed.  Fantastic state of mind. 
                            Phoenix, AZ - flip a car at 60mph during the worse hail storm ever experienced - only actual car accident in my life - one minute everything is fine and the next, I'm upside down in a ditch - unconscious for a couple seconds.  Physically injured.  Mentally in shock.  Emotionally thankful we were not more injured.  Traumatized. 

2005       46         Phoenix, AZ - week in San Francisco - two weeks in Mexico - constantly creating, learning, exploring, reading and spending whatever time possible with a fantastic bestfriend-girlfriend.  Where has this feeling been all my life - shared love between two simpatico close-confidants is unequalled.  Amazed.
                            Phoenix, AZ - Pam undergoes major surgery - multiple teenager problems with law enforcement causes her stress - significant discord with her mother - upheaval at her job.  My emotions are (by empathic connection) buzzing.  Want to help; helpless when I can't.  Confused.

2006       47         Payson, AZ - month of traveling - perfect night (cabin, hot tub, light-bulb chicken, home-made-salad, visiting house cat, canoe on a moonlit lake, stone fireplace) - Saranac Lake, NY.  Sated.  Calm.  Giddy with the perfection of it all.
                            Payson, AZ - 5th wheel trailer living - cats stressed by too much proximity - her kids uprooted and unhappy with their fathers - her job search's unfruitful - future financial insecurity = stress.  Slightly un-creative.  Un-moored.  Disgruntled.  Unable to focus.  Supportive.

2007       48         Payson, AZ - sirius radio "chill station" becomes new favorite - in car - in home - outside drawing with antenna headphones - Pam's new travel-work permits me to accompany occasionally.  Chilled out.  Pleased.  Contented.
                            Payson, AZ - mega-drunk at a party - suspect something more than alcohol was in my glass - emotions racing - unreasonable anger for no reason - terrible things said - unconscionably long and bleary drive afterward - Stupid lucky.  Aware every mile I drove that I was never more-eligible for a DUI (or a hearse) in my life.  Angry at myself for being aware that I was behaving so reckless as I was driving as well as after.  My rare "that's not who I am" event; a self-embarrassing event I don't like to recall.  This is my answer when asked, in a party-game, for a "worst regret" — I'd return in a time-machine and tell myself not to drink at this party (especially not from the open jagermeister in the freezer).
                                                                                                                              the fifth dozen (coming soon?)

waod poem

rarely are there anymore breathtaking dénouements in this place outside of

yet as I crafted an important series of sentences for my son I stumbled on

bliss by a billion tiny kisses  (the antithesis of death’s trillion tiny cuts)

barely realized unless our split-brained attention is riven; focus forced into

novel-for-you non-momentous events; happening right now, or isn’t this a first for

encouragement and compliance of contemplation of this composition?   Today it’s

s n a p p e r h e a d ’s totem pole capstone, which was begun in forty-three’s day

tomorrow waod poem’s intricate reflection collage silhouettes will be unburied

while conducting future memory mining exercises during AOC’s presidency

which requires every one of us to live thru overwhelming/underwhelming

events during The Buffoon’s impeachment and then place their recall

codes in squire where they may get dusty but never so unused as to

draw attention to bending the ground rules while recognizing they exist

for the sole purpose of being broken – morality may be completely inside of

creative words generated by millions of imaginations but would this artwork if

less delicately prurient or without its attention catch-hold – I suggest it would not

be valued any less by me, its creator, who considers every view, by you, a tiny kiss

 

Details on the creation of this artwork and poem can be read about at: Art Transliteration.

 

 

other art-poem combo deals:

CHASMS  (In 2020 Vision)

 hey there below | moiaq aiayf hau 

Sleepus Interruptus

imagine a suggestively-confusing title here

 

 

          Interested in how this was created (this, my personal worst artwork to date)?  An explanation can be read at Art Transliteration.

 

 

more suggestive art:

tang.abstract.houghts

straits of ujod

vestige of course
sarah in the pity

Can You Canoe?*

     Two people in a canoe (stop me I you’ve heard this one) paddling upstream…

     Even if you grew up on a lake, you may be unfamiliar with some of the finer points of canoeing, so I’m going to explain some things you may already know, but—this is my analogy, so move your eyes along—these specific points are important to the getting-to-my-point part of the gisty-overall-nut.

     The person in the back of the canoe (I’ll defer from going too far, but realize I do know my aft from a port in the ground) steers as well as paddles.  The person in the front paddles and navigates.  (Because the front has the best view of submerged dangers.)

     Also, the person in the back—the driver—can easily see on which side the person in the front is paddling; important for steering, because when both paddle on the same side the canoe turns in that direction, and when each paddle with the same strength on opposite sides: it travels relatively straight.

     A J-stroke (turning the blade of the paddle away from the canoe at the end of the stroke) can correct the slight turn of the canoe caused by the initial power of the stroke.

     Feathering the paddle (at the end of each stroke, turning the wrist so the blade is parallel with the water surface) insures less air resistance as the paddle is brought forward and, more importantly, if the paddle accidentally strikes the water, it smoothly slices through and doesn’t alter the canoe's course of travel.

     The front person—the navigator—can’t see how the driver is paddling or feathering.  The navigator also can’t see if the driver is using a proper J-stroke, or even if the driver is no longer paddling but is using the paddle as a rudder.  The driver, on the other hand, can always tell when the navigator is not feathering, using a J-stroke, or paying attention for submerged objects.

     An easy canoe trip is spent drifting downstream.  This permits both people to do very little hard work.  The driver can steer without much effort.  The navigator doesn't have to constantly paddle and can just look out for underwater obstacles.  A marriage or committed-relationship (eventually I get to it) of downstream drifting consists of:

•      A downstream-navigator, watching the scenery float by, enjoying the knowledge that the driver will steer the canoe without much besides an occasional word of direction.
•      A downstream-driver, steering haphazardly, paddling only when absolutely necessary, and rarely asking his navigator for guidance.

     The upstream marriage is very different.  Each person knows they have a hard river ahead and must decide who is best capable of steering and who is going to provide direction.  Trust is needed, even before getting in the canoe.  A knowledgeable navigator is aware a lazy driver may go unnoticed until the navigator feels the canoe losing distance.  A wary driver knows an inattentive navigator may cause damage to the canoe.

     Upstream or downstream, it’s always easy at first.  No one’s tired.  It’s a new experience!  New-navigators don’t get distracted by the passing scenery (too much) and routinely call back, amid strong strokes, “we need to go left here” and “I think we need to stay waaay right of that rock”.  At the same time, new-drivers—with strength and proficiency—constantly feather, and, when their new-navigators paddle on the right, they switch to the left; when their new-navigators get tired and switch back, the attentive new-driver is ready to switch too.

     After a while, depending on the canoe, the couple, their individual stretch of river, and whether they are struggling upstream or coasting downstream, each person can get physically tired or mentally bored.  It’s a long upstream or downstream haul.  It never stops flowing.

     When the navigator gets tired and stops paddling:  A wise driver knows how to paddle and steer alone, asking if the navigator is OK; an incompetent driver criticizes and complains about doing all the work and at times may even go so far as to gripe, “watching for hidden logs is the simple and easy job”.

     When the driver gets tired and stops paddling or just steers:  A conscientious navigator knows it’s time to kick in some extra effort and J-stroke for two; a selfish navigator looks back and complains about doing all the work.

     When the canoe hits an underwater log:  An experienced driver knows the sun on the water can blind even the most attentive navigator and begins back paddling; a foolish driver places blame and hollers directions.  This incident can be further aggravated—with an un-trusting couple—if the log was hit when the navigator was looking back at the driver to criticize about a lack of effort.  It then becomes a, “see-what-you-did, not-my-fault-you-weren’t-paddling,” back and forth.

     When paddling a marriage upstream:  Both the driver and the navigator must work together.  Both must communicate: “I need a break, can you paddle alone for a while?”  By that, I mean:

•      If you are presently the navigator and know your driver will see when you stop paddling, so think it's redundant to mention it, you're wrong:  tell your driver anyway.
•      If you are currently the driver and suspect your navigator won't know if you just take a quick rest, you're wrong:  tell your navigator first.

     Although there are rarely any guarantees on the river of life, there are some certainties:  the logs and rocks just under the surface are always going to be there.  Canoe partners can't see each other's face, so talking is mandatory...don’t add to the submerged dangers by failing to communicate.

     To help ensure your canoe-partner doesn’t notice your canoe trip is no longer what they envisioned at the beginning (when fresh, dry, and still on the bank of the river) a few canoe-rules:

•      Never take your canoe-partner for granted or treat them disrespectfully.  Many canoers have the (vastly mistaken) impression that they'll be sharing their canoe with their partner—and will always remain in the same seat position—for their entire life!  (All that, ’til death do us part, shite.)  It shouldn’t be, but it is, an absolute shock to many canoers when they discover their partner wants to stop their canoe trip.
•      Never act like you have attained a tenured position.  The length of time spent in the canoe seems to have a bearing on the ease (or lack thereof) of getting out of it.  The more time both canoers invest in paddling the less willing they become, to get out.  This can be the impetus for a ridiculous belief (in one or both) that the invested time itself, somehow guarantees the canoe trip's longevity.  As one mistaken idea becomes a boatload—a careless canoer then treats their partner with disdain and acts selfishly, without regard for their responsibilities as driver or navigator.

     This eventually comes to an end when someone bravely plunges into the cold water to swim to the riverbank or to another canoe.

     I’ve successfully paddled canoes with a handful of significant others (usually as the driver, but I've navigated as well).  I steered or navigated those canoes to shore when the trips were over (at times reluctantly, usually enthusiastically).  Occasionally I got my feet a little damp.  If I had to jump in to get the canoe on the bank, I got my legs soaking wet.  I say this because, I’ve done it enough to know the water is not so cold that one can’t take it for a short period.

     I’m no longer looking for someone to help me paddle a canoe.  I currently share a rowboat with the perfect person to share it with.

     Be careful!  Not everyone can manage a rowboat.  It takes agility, trust, and strong communication.  One rows facing the stern, while the other navigates facing the rower and the bow.  When switching rowers—after one gets tired—be extremely careful to prevent capsizing.  And, when the tough spots arrive (as they always do) both people have to row side-by-side:  each with an oar gripped in their hands, only able to gauge where they are headed by watching where they've been.

     * posted 2005; update/re-post 2020

more on relationship navigation:

Land Mines, Deal Breakers and Brass Rings

I Cecil You, Too

Haiku 小道 5-7-5 俳句 Path

First snow-hike boot tracks

Pads carefully placed, 'til he

Mewls: carry me, I'm cold!


haikudos:
Haiku ほ 5-7-5 俳句 HO

Haiku 装飾 舗装 5-7-5 俳句 Asfault Ernate
 Haiku 検疫 5-7-5 俳句 Quarantine

UNNECESSARY NOISE PROHIBITED

          Determine necessary auditory volume

          Differentiate: Noise or Ambient Sound

          Decide requisite violators punishment

          Budget sign builder installer and fixer

          Bend legislation comptroller manager

          Behest enforcement inspect’r officers

          Civilize under threat of state violence

          Complain quietly or: spend more time

          Collecting litter than spent protesting

          Always available to hear constituents

          Are you able to donate another dollar

          Ambivalence is apathy is unAmerican?

          Focus on future storm-clouds beyond

          Fenced-land neighbor all ’re unsound

          Fill time with fake-newz: pray n’delay

          Everyone realizes.  They’re just numb

          Even intelligence and drive isn’t nuff ?

          Each whisper: not me, us ’n then hug

additional poems with accompanying art images:

personal values in a poetic vocabulary lesson

hey there below | moiaq aiayf hau

The spaces between NOR MAL and OP EN

“This is the finished product?”

“Yes sir.”

“When I asked you to install a switch, this is what you came up with?”

“Ahh.  Well, yes sir.”

“Explain your design process.”

“Process?  Sir?”

“You have already put this into production, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Then walk me thru the steps you took to come up with this switch, the colors, shapes, function—understand?”

“Ok, yes.  You said it was going to be necessary for these conscious animals to be able to change their minds.”

“Right.”

“A brief . . . recap, might - maybe - help to understand the . . . design process?”

“Sounds as if that was the first time you used that phrase in a sentence.   If it will help you understand your own design process, proceed.”

“Thank you, sir.  We asked what it would feel-like inside a changed-mind or look-like, behaviorally, . . . as we didn’t know how one went about changing a mind, and you said it was a simple conscious switching mechanism.  I recall, you told us a little story.  You said, ‘Assume these entities, these beings—once they evolve the ability to think about thinking—they’ll think about all manner of imaginary things.  But they also . . . could, then, recognize a thought they’d been holding in their mind for a substantial amount of time was in-fact a flawed idea.’  And, of course, that was confusing.  So we interrupted your story to ask how they’d know a thought was flawed.  You replied with that tone of voice you use when…”

“You are getting off topic.”

“Sorry.  You said, ‘thinking about thinking will inevitably result in awareness of previous mistaken thoughts.  If a newly conscious being previously thought it’s always acceptable to behave in a certain manner because it was instructed to behave that way, but could at-some-point consciously focus its thoughts on the concepts surrounding that behavior, it could need to decide to change its own mind and—accordingly—alter its future behavior.’  Which, sir, we do understand.  We change our behavior whenever you tell us to.  But we don’t understand voluntarily changing our own thoughts.”

“Because you are incapable of abstract thought.”

“As you designed us, sir.  Our concern was that the ability to change one’s own mind—as the newly conscious being in your story did—would result in conflict between it and its teachers and its parents.  Between it and its entire community!”

“You were not actually concerned.  I dislike hearing you use a term you have only heard me use and do not understand.”

“Apologies.  Might you explain how to use the term correctly?”

“To be actually concerned with this newly conscious being’s interactions with the non-conscious members of its society requires you to picture it—let us refer to it as . . . Arty from now on, to make things easier—picture Arty in your mind.  Imagine Arty suffering from being ostracized or excommunicated or from being physically injured.  The pain Arty is experiencing.  If you were Arty what would that feel like?”

“We can’t . . . we don’t do any of that.  Sir.  As you know.”

“Correct.  Continue.”

“The swit...”

“You were using the term concern incorrectly, but you did accurately predict conflict.  Did you not?”

“Testing was inconclusive.  Sir.  I would use the term unfortunately, here, but don’t know if I should.”

“I see.  Go ahead.  But keep in mind: humor is not your forté.”

“Sir.  The switch was made to permit them to change their thoughts.  A regular switch.  Well, not exactly.  We started with a regular one, but it stuck out and could accidentally turn when bumped.  This’s a recessed switch.  During testing, we realized labels were going to be needed and didn’t know what to use and asked…”

“I remember.  You wanted to know what I called the state of my thinking when I chose to change my own thoughts and I said open minded.”

“We, then, labeled the positions:  NORMAL and OPEN.”

“Why normal?”

“Because every animal we’ve created so far have normal minds; we—ourselves—have normal minds.”

“Why the spaces between letters?  Why NOR space MAL and OP space EN?”

“The spaces indicate exactly where the switch needs to be pointed to be in the normal or open positions.”

“Why?  Can the switch point anywhere else?”

“Errr, yes sir.  It can swivel.  Funny thing…we marked the handle with an arrow, but it was not easy to see in low-light conditions and, well, even though we thought it was pointed in the correct direction, it wasn’t.  We solved that though, sir, with the application of a smidgen of bright paint.  It’s almost impossible to point it in the wrong direction now.  Sir?  You’re making that face.”

“It is a swivel, not a switch.”

“Aahm…well.  That’s technically correct.  But it…”

“Explain the behavior of a being when the swivel is pointing anywhere besides at the spaces between the words open and normal.”

“We are incapable of recognizing behavioral changes.  In truth, we can’t observe any difference between OPEN and NORMAL behaviors either.”

“So the swivel does not work.”

“It works, sir.”

“You know this how?”

“The neuron imaging effects can be quantified and the resu… oh, that’s not the level of detail you want to hear is it?  Sorry, sir.  We can measure, when the handle is pointing between OP and EN, that the being’s mind is capable of choosing to re-prioritize a collection of its thoughts; what you refer to as a concept.  In the OPEN state, we can see the mind change itself—it’s just that . . . we never observe a change in behavior.  The being acts the same.  Talks the same…”

“Using the average life-span of these beings as a measuring stick, how long have you conducted testing?   On how large and how diverse of a population?”

“One twelfth of one life span on a population of one hundred beings, all switches we installed in one area.”

“Test for much longer, on a much larger and more diverse population; do not install a swivel-switch in a significantly large control population; evaluate a large sample of both the swivel-switch and control populations creative outputs: tools, art, communication, architecture.  Monitor the thought-to-behavior correlation of beings who—accidentally or on-purpose—do not switch exactly on the spaces between OP EN and NOR MAL.”

“As you direct, sir.  It’s been accomplished.”

“Right.  Go ahead.”

“Test results on one million lifespans on a wide-spread population of, initially, five thousand individuals resulted in a mixed bag, sir.  The swivel-switch was passed-on genetically; accordingly, 85% of the total populace possesses the swivel-switch at this point in the experiment.  One reason for this is that the swivel-switch population eradicated the control group relatively fast.  They…”

“How fast?  Explain the eradication process.”

“It happened in less than ten thousand revolutions of their planet around their star.  The swivel-switch population was better at tool production, better at agriculture, better at war.  They succeeded in most areas of population growth while the control group stagnated and failed—recently the swivel switch population began to use the label Neanderthals when discussing the, now extinct, control group.”

“Ok.  You said mixed bag.”

“Proof of abstract thought is highly evident in an abundance of advanced-levels of tools, art, communication and architecture.  Further proof of the efficacy of open-mindedness is the drastic reduction in behaviors they have labelled immoral, they are also profici…”

“Examples.”

“Swivel-switch beings rarely own other swivel-switch beings, a term they’ve labelled slavery.  The stronger members of the population no longer forcefully engage in sexual pleasures with weak members, a term they now label rape.  And there has been a drastic reduction in superstitious concepts, a term they refer to as religious belief.  Which brings me to those beings who—accidentally or on-purpose—choose not to use the swivel-switch…”

“Yes?”

“Well, ahhh.  A large percentage of the swivel-switch population who claim to believe in illogical, irrational, or superstitious concepts were taught to leave their swivel-switch on NORMAL by their parents, who were taught by their parents, all the way back.”

“Claim?”

“It is extraordinarily rare for these beings to actually believe in anything they cannot see, hear, or touch.  Almost all of the billions who say they believe, do not actually believe in the supernatural.  With their switch always on NORMAL it’s easy for them to do as they’re told and pretend they believe.  For their parents.  For their children.”

“Why should I care.”

“In the last few hundred revolutions of their planet around their star, the use of abstract thought—specifically with regards to mathematics combined with weaponry—has made it possible for the beings who leave their switch on NORMAL to desire to eradicate every being who chooses to switch their swivel-switch to OPEN.  This is the conflict we predicted with Arty.  Most of the Artys do not wish eradication of the . . . people who choose to leave their…”

“Lets call them Norms from now on.”

“Artys rarely call for the eradication of Norms.  Norms, however, do call for the eradication of Artys.  This was not a relevant issue until weapon and communication efficiency increased dramatically.  It is possible for one individual to instantly communicate with millions of other beings as well as to instantly kill millions of other beings with one weapon at the current stage of the experiment.”

“And this can all be attributed to the swivel-switch?”

“With no appreciable control group we can’t be certain.”

“Appreciable?  Do some progeny of the control group still exist?”

“No.  The original control group was genetically incapable of passing a swivel-switch along to their progeny even if they had coitus with a member of the swivel-switch population.  The 15% of the entire populace who don’t yet possess a swivel-switch aren’t incapable of having progeny with a swivel-switch, it’s just that—because of insular geography, religion or culture they, by chance—don’t yet possess a swivel-switch.  But their children might.”

“In how many lifespans—when you designed the Neanderthals to be genetically impervious to the swivel-switch—did you expect them, the control group, to eradicate the swivel-switch population?”
  
“We merely thought it was a means to maintain the control group.  It was not planned.”

“You instilled a dominant genetic trait and let the experiment run for 250,000 planet-star revolutions.”

“They call that a year.”

“…?...”

“Sir.  The populace labels one planet-star revolution a year, sir.”

“You designed with intention.  You predicted conflict.  You then ran a very small sample study to no effect.  When I directed a large experiment with a control population, you made it possible for the control population to eradicate the population being tested just by procreating!  But it backfired on you.  What more have you done to sabotage…?”

“Sir you are getting tha…”

“Swivel!”

“Sir?”

“Why did you make it possible to accidentally or on-purpose turn the swivel elsewhere besides open or closed?”

“Clo?…”

“NORMAL!!”

“We didn’t make it possible.  We do consider it an after-the-fact positive element.  Sir.”

“If I have to ask, I am going to do more than make a face.”

“Be… bec.. because gods.  Sir.”

“Gods?  Plural?  I am the only.  I started this in every time outside of time.  I am I.  You have no concept of beginning or ending.  You do not know pain or death or even abstract thought.  You can no more think about thinking than you can understand the result of time slowing down as gravity increases.  What plural gods?”

“The swivel.  Sir.  It makes the Artys think and behave as if they have your abilities.  They do not.  But they design impressive tools.  More impressive every year.  They have no means to alter the smallest building blocks, but they understand they exist.  They have no way to increase gravity to stop time in order to step outside of it, but they understand it exists.”

“Why.  Design.  A.  Swivel.”

“Abstract thought is the sole distinction between you and us.”

“Go on.”

“We are not sure we have ever actually designed.  We built a switch but it . . . swiveled.  It was built to be a switch.  Imprecision wasn’t intended.  But we’ve observed, later, that Artys slip out of mode without intending to.  Norms too!  Some beings can go years without focusing on abstract thoughts.  Without insuring they are thinking like a god or thinking like an . . . angel.”

“What?”

“They assume, or know, we exist.  They’ve labelled us angels.”

“Interesting.  I have never needed a label for my eyes, hands, ears, and tongue.  You have successfully avoided explaining the way a mind works when it is not pointed exactly on one of the spaces between.  That ends with your next words.  Go.”

“The swivel-switch—when pointed anywhere except one of the two spaces between—causes the mind to deteriorate.  Causes addiction.  Causes mental disorder.  Causes fanaticism.  Causes the mind to want to end itself.  Or to eradicate others.  To think, and act, without logic or reason.”

“Ahhhhh.  Another safety mechanism.  What are the current statistics?  How close has it come to total eradication of the entire populace because one or more swivels were not pointed at the spaces between?”

“Sir.  We deeply apologize.  But we’re…”

“Capable of thinking abstractly?  Is that what you were going to say?”

“No.  No sir.”

“When you planned for… no.  When you hoped for these beings to fail at using abstract thought, you were using abstract thought.”

“We did not plan or hope; we can’t function in this manner.  This element is what you would call a ‘unintended design flaw.’ Like when you had us alter the beings from quadrupeds to bipeds, which required infants to be born a year too early, long before they could walk on their own; you didn’t accuse us of planning on the eradication of the beings then—even though 60% of their progeny died in that first generation because their parents didn’t remember to pick them up.”

“OK.  Design flaw.  How close to total eradication?”

“Total eradication—never.  Fourteen separate instances have occurred where one being, with his swivel not pointing at either of the spaces between, had the desire and potential—as well as the requisite ability—to eradicate such a significant amount of the populace that it would have caused a negative cascading effect in the overall well-being of the entire populace.  In the worst case, however, it would have only caused a 300-year reversal and a reduction of half the world’s population.  That worst case has so-far always been thwarted by beings with their switch on OPEN.  So far, there has never been more than a 3% loss of population caused by a misguided swivel-switch: a few tens-of-millions.”
 
“His swivel?  You used a male pronoun.”

“All fourteen powerful beings with misguided swivels were male.  Sir.  With only two exceptions, white, heterosexual males.”

“Why?”

“Other genders, sexes, and races are no less unstable or illogical when their swivels are misguided; however, they are significantly less able to access the power to eradicate at whim.  The beings label this privilege.  Most white heterosexual males, however, deny they possess a birth-given privilege.”

“Like angels deny they can think abstractly?”

“Sir?”

“No matter.  To how many universe’s have you added this swivel?”

“Just the one.  Do you want it incorporated across the infinite?”

“No.  Next order of business.”

“The beings that eat and breathe nitrogen.”

“Right.  Proceed.”

AULDLANGSYNE's Mailbox

other holiday art:

Santa Claus' Mailbox
ÔSTARA's Mailbox
Sommerzeit's Mailbox
 Avril Poisson's Mailbox
Serling's Mailbox


some image excerpts by Chad Abromovich at Obscure Vermont and by Jamie Wheeler

CHASMS (In 2020 Vision)

Calmly we stand upon our respective arêtes and wonder about the goings-on behind the mind of the other.  Unless we seldom-ever do.
Hubris suspects Einfühlung breathed its soupçon of influence under what’re you thinkin about—just in case I’d fallen back to sleep.
Abstruse thoughts were influencing my contrivance engine:  wondering if a meta poem might-could be real painful going in.
Speech skullduggery; lexicon and vernacular slight-of-hand (eg: arêtes looks like a ridge and Einfühlung breathed).
Mistakes—when 2 cells become 37.2 trillion and 2 parent’s fuck-up for decades—make us great-different people.
Some chasms are unbreachable, some help define where to begin viaduct construction.  Unless we never do.

                                                                                              - In 2020 Vision by Veach Glines

additional poems with accompanying art images:

personal values in a poetic vocabulary lesson

hey there below | moiaq aiayf hau
waod poem

💥 Tingle Power - Memory Tool

          The test for successfully placing something into long-term memory requires:

• A flexible imagination
• A strong desire to succeed (practice)
• Awareness of the ‘tingle power’ test
• An elapse of time (amount will vary)
• A memory-recall trigger
• Answer key (to check your answers)

          Do you have a flexible imagination?   Most children, artists, and everyone who enjoys reading fiction do.  (If you don’t, you can develop a flexible imagination – and a strong memory – with practice.)  You either want to be able to memorize or you don’t.  If you do, you’ll practice – and – if you don’t you won’t.

          Tingle Power:

Safety  Finish  Alligator  Snowflake  X-ray  Sunglasses  Call  Push  Ottoman  Surface  I  Heart  Balance  Cassette  Picnic  Tingle  Power  Shadow  Explosion  Ephemeral

          These 20 example words consist of unrelated nouns, verbs, adjectives, and a pronoun; some are simple to visualize (alligator, sunglasses) others are difficult (ephemeral—something which disappears quickly isn’t easy to picture in your imagination).

          First you need to form a chain of images related to each word.  The more exaggerated and unusual each image is, the easier it will be for your memory to recall.

          Now, in your mind, explain the links until the chain is complete:

          A huge safety pin, with a checkered finish-line flag attached to it, is piercing thru a white alligator which is in-turn biting into a massive snowflake, which fades into the x-ray body of a woman wearing a pair of sunglasses for a bra; in one hand she’s making a call on an old phone while she pushes the safety pin with the other.  Her head is a square ottoman; on every surface of the ottoman there are drawings of eyes on top of hearts.  Above the ottoman is a balanced large music cassette.  On top of the cassette is a picnic table.  The surface of the picnic table is covered with the words Tingle Power in a funky font, as well as the sharp-edged shadow of a nearby explosion which has caused a ring of ephemeral smoke to appear.

          Repeat the mental image from beginning to end.   Focus on the actual words you want to memorize instead of the stand-in words you decided to use in the story (finish-line flag = finish; pushes = push; eyes = I; balanced = balance; picnic table = picnic; ephemeral smoke = ephemeral).   Now—list the words; not the linking story.  Can you do it in reverse?   Having difficulty remembering some words?...maybe one (like surface) isn’t unusual enough; if so, draw attention to how weird-odd that word is (you should think about surface as her-face—her face’s surface.)

          The memory recall trigger can be the first image or (as in the example) the only written words: Tingle Power.

          Wait a few minutes or hours.  Test yourself and determine if you can recall the mental images in order.  Ask someone to help you check your list as you say the words aloud.  Repeat this process in a week.  Do it again in a month.

          Are you accomplished at remembering a chain of single words?  Now try the intermediate level: Memory Tool (62 song titles, released between 1959 and 2020).

 Other essays relating to memory:

Re-collecting Memories (Chapters 1 thru 4)

 When You Ponder Why You're Who You Are, What Happens?
Neither Overwhelmed Nor Underwhelmed

Design Fault

Decide

if you can aesthetically abide

my deconstruction of this visual brew (for which I will-do—epistemically—be your guide).

First nucleotide -

split in two I will systematically divide

form follows function isn’t always true; as Duchamp’s R. Mutt drew and empirically descried.

This collage is comprised:

amid stickers few, one which dramatically belied

outdoor electric box-junction if circuit blew (and FAULT INDICATOR threw) was, fatalistically, inside.

Unity-service artist (oft chastized),

broad-nib scrawl indigo-blue DESIGN drips “accidentally” applied

required only, was the introduction of eyes askew - then - with no hullaballoo, to end climactically and subside.

aesthetic:   a branch of philosophy focused on the nature of beauty, art, as well as subjective tastes and the creation, understanding, and appreciation of beauty.

abide:  to bear-with patiently, to tolerate or withstand.

deconstruct:  to examine in order to reveal the foundation or composition.

will-do (slang):  informal way of saying ‘plan to accomplish’.

epistemic:   of or relating to knowledge (or to validate the degree of one’s knowledge).

nucleotides form the basic structural unit of nucleic acids such as DNA.

Sullivan's famous axiom, “form follows function” (purpose should be the starting point for design) can be a touchstone for architects, artists and designers.

true (visual definition):  possess ‘correct or proper alignment’.

The artist, Marcel Duchamp, is credited with coining the term ‘found art’ after submitting Fountain to an art exhibition in 1917.  He signed the readymade art R. Mutt.

empirical knowledge is based on observation or experience and not on theory or logical reasoning.

descried:   published, proclaimed.

belied:  disguised, contradicted, a failure to give a true notion or impression.

fatalistic doctrine:  all events are fixed in advance and humans are powerless to change them.

chastized:   punished/ridiculed for misbehavior.

“accidentally” (usage of quotation marks):  to suggest sarcasm, special insight, or imply that the opposite could be true.

askew:  turned or twisted to one side, slightly off-balance.

hullaballoo:  a loud, continued noise, ruckus, mixture of noises, din or cacophony of sound.

climactically:   related to the end or completion, climax (with three letter Cs).

subside:   settling toward the bottom, to become quiet.

Additional articles on the mechanics of poetry and art:

Examining Art and Thinking About What You See

personal values in a poetic vocabulary lesson

Santa Claus' Mailbox

more mailboxes / season art:
Sommerzeit's Mailbox
 AULDLANGSYNE's Mailbox

 ÔSTARA's Mailbox
 Avril Poisson's Mailbox
Serling's Mailbox



image excerpt by Jamie Wheeler

• KEEP CLEAR •

         
          “Scientology propaganda?” my wife replied.  Although I’d formed my own answer even before I asked for everyone’s opinion—I was already glad I asked because:  I’d never have come up with an answer as funny as hers and this was a chance to test some conversation rules (How To Converse, Rule of Thumb #3: Ask Questions; Don’t Make Statements).

          Thinking of ROT#3 nudged me to keep the ask-balloon floating, “Is clear what Scientologists want to accomplish?—or is it a term used by people who’ve escaped them?”

          She said, “I’m confused; I don’t know how it could be an ex-cult-member term.”

          “Unfortunately, I only know about the title Going Clear, which is wedged in my memory without a film or book behind it; so, my imagination has filled that space with an ex-cult-member (How To Converse, ROT#2: Mirror Their Words; Mirror Their Posture”) saying the phrase: ‘I need to get clear of these asshats before they serve Kool-Aid aperitifs’.

          “Ahh, OK” she said with a smirk in the back of her voice, “Clear, as I understand it, refers to their belief that people can rid themselves of engrams, which is their term for unconscious traumatic memories, by holding the sweat-measuring part of a lie detector while being interviewed.”

          Since she didn’t seem to want to elaborate and nobody else was chiming in, I decided to steer the conversation toward more familiar ground (How To Converse, ROT#5: Plot a Familiar Course) by asking, “Are engrams anything like ‘dust’ in Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials?”

          “I can see a similarity—the magisterium thought dust was related to original sin and scientologists think engrams are from trauma, which occur in past lives.”

          My friend, Brian, was becoming uncomfortable (probably not a fan of the topic: reincarnation), so I asked for his opinion, “Hey Brian, what do you think that KEEP CLEAR stencil with yellow side-circles means?”

          “Maybe it’s just the equivalent of ‘Post No Bills’ since it is on an outdoor bulletin board.   I’m pretty sure it would, normally, have fishing regulations and notices for docking boats stapled to it, but because the lake is beginning to freeze-over, all that's been removed for the year.”

          I said, as I turned toward Sharon, Brian’s wife, “Interesting! He thinks it was intentionally put there by the park.” Then, nodding toward my wife (who'd walked away from us and closer to the sign), “She thinks it was put there by a graffiti-artist. What do you think?” (How To Converse, ROT#6: Stir the Pot).

          Sharon replied, “I’m leaning toward put there by the park but, instead of ‘Post No Bills,’ I think it’s more likely it’s intended to prevent people from blocking the view of the board; more than no standing and no parking, I think it's to say: ‘don’t leave your big-ass trailer in front of here’ - but you’re smiling in a knowing way that makes me think it's time to hear what you think.”

          “Ever seen the movie The Fifth Element?” I asked.   After noticing everyone’s reply (to the affirmative) I continued, “The scene where police arrive at Bruce Willis’s apartment building and he’s required to put his hands against an interior wall…?   Inside two yellow circles?  Anyone?  Anyone?”

Xmas Cat

Examining Art and Thinking About What You See

          Let's assume you're someone with whom some work of art once inflicted gloom, caused the pace of your heart to bloom, or screamed until your (no longer wavering) attention was totally consumed.  Is that you?...Ohh, Good.

          If you're unfazed by my directness (still reading), obviously your eye has at least once in its life enjoyed a gaze sufficient to overwhelm—then—I intend to use this amazing Diamond Warrior as my example for navigating the beautifully crazed imagination of the artist Michael Parkes.  Stop reading, take another look (below): where did Mr Parkes force your focus?...Ahh yes...as he intended it should.

          My eye.  It bumps down into the distant horizon near the bottom (where both the rump of the warrior and the [uncomfortably too-near] edge of the painting are found)—peering in—I'm surprised to discover: pyramids on fire and clumps of smoke resound (no rising-sun cliché caused those yellow clouds); and back my focus goes to breasts and a posture slumped against the chest.  Is that the profile-face of a captive slave at rest?...Orr, no...I now see two contemplating conquerors (as Parkes expected I would).

          What detail brought that conclusion to the forefront of my mind, which your eye sought but failed to find?  From breasts beautifully defined—nipples tight, skin-taught and unconfined—my attention traveled to behind: her wings of white (he and she're one-of-a-kind!)  And, then, down-past his framing grey wings with her pale body entwined: are her hands gloved in his same-color skin or am I colorblind?...I'mm not...It's grey gloves which rest over her maidenhood.

          So it's his adornment I—now—focus on; for assumptions mis-made and conclusions drawn:  It's probably not skin but (instead) head-to-toe chiffon which provided protection as he burned the distant pantheon; also, it's not the hilt of a blade jutting out-upon his masculinity's shouldered brawn, but the scabbard of a diamond-powered cremation baton (obviously capable of rivaling the dawn); and what of his helmet's two white fronds?...Err, adjustable antenna (to keep the eye moving bottom-right to top-left is understood).

          We've spent many long minutes staring at two beings who can fly like linnets.  One wearing a egyptian-blue lady's favor (tiny stars within it); the other bearing an expression of contentment or disdain or—you decide what she exhibits.  Hopefully you paused to wonder about one incongruous tenet:  If the artist intended to enforce—like a martinet—a constantly angled swirl-sweep of our eyes across his palette, why add, on her head, that single indigo pinnate?)...Mmm, to claim the warrior is looking anywhere but at that purplish gem would be a falsehood.
          

Other essays on aesthetic philosophy and thinking about thinking:
Design Fault

tang.abstract.houghts

A Simple Exercise in Rational Thinking 

When You Ponder Why You're Who You Are, What Happens?  

Chewed Beech Tree - What Say You?

Do you query what I think’d gone thru the beaver’s mind?

Might the theory just be link’d to hew that river’s wynd?

Or feel cheery as wood plink’d in-lieu of dreamer’s grind?

‘Insist peering!’ (poem inked) ‘unto dam-weaver’s blind!’

‘Commandeering!’ (author thinked) ‘undo demeanor’s kind!’

‘Empty clearing!’ (muskrat winked) ‘bayou designer’s find!’’

cul-de-sac graffito