still in the vein of
Three Ways to Identify a Vulnerable (covert) Narcissist Vampire
still in the vein of
serendipity due dah day unfolds in a beneficial way
Does this phrase catchold due to an ancient echo from the zip-a-dee-doo-dah song? As a result of the simple rhyme? Maybe it's thanks to also being a seventeen-syllable haiku, or because—with nine words—it plants a cheesily remembered definition of serendipitous events.
For those following along in your lesson-book at home, please reexamine the above paragraph and answer these two questions from last week's homework: How many portmanteaux did you notice? Any malapropisms (and, if so, what were the words you expected)? [My answer is in the comment section.]
Serendipity is best understood by providing negative examples. Like explaining that the lyrics of the song Ironic, by Alanis Morissette, contains absolutely no ironic phrases . . . is exactly where its irony exists (the song's chock-a-block with misfortunes, examples of poor planning, and whatever idiotic needle-in-a-haystack label fits for: looking for a knife in a spoon factory).
Luck does not have anything to do with serendipity. And, serendipity is definitely not eventual success after an exacerbating period of failure. Serendipity never occurs as a result of intuitive reasoning or struggle or guile or cunning.
Sere is a Latin prefix found in words like serene, serenity, and serenade - calm, quiet, evening.
End and Pity are the core words (which need no explanation).
The primary element to a real serendipitous event is that it must never have been part of the plan, can not have been expected, and can not have been factored into the expectations of any of those who eventually benefited by its occurrence.
When frail, Grampa Jang-n-the-beanstalk (with his cow) meandered along at the most opportune moment and saved my day (career) in a very miraculous way, that was serendipity (full story here).
But, when we moved to Vermont last year "garage" was on my "desires list" so we looked at several apartments/houses with attached and unattached garages. Eventually "affordable" bumped "garage" off the list (along with "fireplace" and "guest room") and then two months ago . . . after my neighbor lost her job and their garage became our garage (because we could afford the additional rent) her bad luck became our good luck. Not serendipity.
I just remembered a good example of irony from my past (just when you thought I was finished kicking that unread horse).
In the early 1990s, while stationed at Ft Benning, GA, as an agent with Army CID, I got a call to respond to a drive-by shooting with one injured victim. This was a rare occurrence on military installations (and a first for me). The crime scene was an outdoor picnic/fishing recreation area, where a large group of soldiers and their family members had been celebrating their return from deployment. I talked to some witnesses, looked for empty bullet casings, and then went to the hospital to talk with the victim.
He was in good spirits, had no idea who shot at the crowd (or why it was his bad luck to 'catch a round') and told me that the bullet must have been a dud because it only pierced his stomach muscle less than an inch deep. He said, "I walked into the ER and the nurse asked how she could help me, so I said 'I just got shot in the stomach' and she looked down, laughed, and said, 'Very funny, what can I really do for you?' which was when I realized I was wearing this shirt."
Then he opened his jacket and I saw he was wearing a t-shirt with: 'I Survived Operation Desert Storm' above a line of bleeding bullet holes. And there was one small actual hole, near his belly button, with much more real blood below and around it.
Irony. Returning unscathed from the first Gulf War and getting shot in the stomach at the welcome home party while wearing this shirt (and not remembering the shirt until the admissions nurse laughed).
more similar stories:
The first-annual "For-No-Real-Reason but the End-of-Yeason" Aperçu
(which might not be repeated, so this title is slightly misleading)
And now for something
slightly different.
Rather than passing over the obscure words (for autodidacts) or hyper-linking them (for the few link-trusters) or burying the definitions at the bottom in tiny print (for the increasingly rare scrollers who read to the end)—I'm leading with them:
Yeason is a
portmanteau of the words year and season (I made it up).
Aperçu is a brief insight or sketch
(French, pronounced Ah-per-sue).
Autodidact means
self-taught (Ben Franklin is a common example).
Portmanteaux are
distinctly new words (shart, blog, zonkey, email).
This series of
excerpts are some of my favorite wordcraftings. A few are from the
last twelve months, but many are from up-to three decades ago (posted in
the last decade-and-a-half). The reason I haven't done this before
is because sharing fibers of belly button lint I found while navel-gazing
makes me feel like a right-foolish-cunt. Nevertheless, I compiled
this autobiographical best-of listicle to commiserate* the last decade,
year, autumn, and this holiday season.
*Malapropisms are expected words
(commemorate) intentionally replaced with a similar but humorous, albeit insightful, word. [The
word 'albeit' may be the oldest three-word portmanteau
(from the 1300's)!]
To read full-articles, click
associated thumbnail-pics
(for completionists)—but that's not the actual point. The
essays/stories are somewhat long or maybe a bit boring or even kinda
shite, while these shiny wordsmith gems are definitely worth the price
of admission.
Thereby, causing me to spend a few seconds imagining foolish candlelit goings-on betwixt some weed-eaters, tarps, and a backhoe.
Miscommunication causes more problems than malice, hatred, zeal and
greed combined. Don't lump miscommunication in with
errors and oversights. Miscommunications are not
mistakes just because the ... word ... began as:
mistaken communication.
That little ghost almost scared the piss out of me—I'll bet my going for his throat gave him a bit of a pause, though.
There was a pun, bandied about ... who's dumb as a rock, been a pig for eons, and behaves like a gore? ... the pun landed better with those who knew her prior-name had been Gore Behavre ... and were aware she, visually, could be of rock pigeon ancestry. And—it certainly helps understand the pun better—to know that a gore is a chunk of land, which is on the outside of every local jurisdiction, created by a surveying error.
Coffin windows are referred to, as such, because ... built as
fire-escapes ... people climbing out of them would probably be coughin.
(I just made this one up. If you use this to play
six truths and a lie, this is the lie and all the others are real
Vermont lore.)
Pausing its pecking, it hopped close and stared with such intensity and
vigor
I forgot our conversation, and became lost in its feather-sheen and
respiration.
“My nation calls our own name . . . when we meet I say, hello Köal-Lor.”
“Hello Veach” I reply with a smile, “no need to remember names
anymore;
With how many of my nation have you shared your lore?”
STUPID-CALLOUS FASCISTIC PSYCHO FECKLESS LYING POTUS
Mary Poppins' Super-Calla-Fragi... song,
POTUS = President Of The United States
“Why hero always eat at Asian restaurant?” ... I replied with, “I don’t
know...why?” ... “I dunno either. But Bladerunner, he eat Asian. Fifth
element guy...Bruce Willis: Asian. ... I smiled. “Well, the guy from
Dark City: he ate at an automat.” “Ahh” He waived the idea away,
walking toward his kitchen, “Noir don’t count. Noir always gotta eat at a
diner.”
This is an attempt to sculpt my Reminiscence Bump into bumps. Plural. My end-goal is to have a Series of Reminiscence Moguls so eerily similar to the graph of the US 2020-2022 Covid19 infection rate, they become indistinguishable in my memory of this time. One replacing the other.
This homage to Ryan North's DINOSAUR COMICS was created by placing my words into Ryan's internet-famous, constrained, six panel comic. I did make slight alterations to his artwork (which are visible if you follow T-Rex's recommendation). I regularly read Ryan and highly recommend his daily webcomic or—if he is unfamiliar to you—you can mega-binge during one of your upcoming lock-down/quarantines and catch-up on the nearly two decades you've missed.
After informing Ryan, he replied:
Hey, this is great!! Thank you!
RyanNorth.ca / Dinosaur Comics / @ryanqnorth
-- Ryan
pertinent stuff:
more my-words/their-art comix:
More Recommended Products
(unsponsored)
'Expensive' is relative and subject to your anchoring bias. Comparing a box of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes to a box of Magic Spoon Frosted flavor would be like comparing a Big Mac to a Ribeye steak. Nobody expects a nice cut of beef to cost the same as a sandwich from McDonald's. The reason to spend significantly more for Magic Spoon is because it has nothing high fructose in it, an insignificant amount of cane sugar, and absolutely no grains.
'Keto' has become a marketing word. The ingredients of anything marketed as "keto-friendly" should be scrutinized for bullshittery. In this case, a single serving of Magic Spoon contains: Milk and Whey Proteins, one or more oils from: Coconut/Sunflower/Avacado/Almond/Peanut, Tapioca Flour or Starch, Allulose, Monk Fruit, Stevia, Chicory Root, Salt, and various Natural Flavors (cinnamon in the Cinnamon; cocoa in the Cocoa; fruit/vegtable juice in the Fruity; turmeric and a trivial amount of sugar in the Salted Caramel; Inulin and a trivial amount of sugar in the Frosted; peanut extract/flour in the Peanut-butter; Honey in the Honey Nut) . . . and, no bullshittery. (I love their use of the term trivial.)
'Adult' is a marketing ploy for parents who feed cheap sugary carbs to their kids but are interested in eating good tasting, healthy, high-quality, food themselves. This should be the only snack-food in your house! To feed Cheerios to your children—because it is 1/4 the price—but buy Magic Spoon for yourself, because it tastes better and contains a negligible amount of carbs is child abuse. I think you should stop encouraging your kids to become diabetic. Insulin (the hormone, with an 's') is very expensive, whereas inulin (without the 's', a dietary fiber from Chicory Root) is not expensive.
'Cereal'—in describing this snack-food—is a form of antimony (bullshittery). Someone in the marketing department convinced the creators that since it looks like a whole-grain breakfast food and tastes better than all of them, then it must be labelled one, and the people in charge at Magic Spoon compromised and agreed to put the convoluted phrase 'grain-free cereal' on their boxes. Yea. And the dehydrated water in my lungs is what currently keeps me alive. I wish they were forward-thinking enough to use the term 'tooth-sized crunchy protein doughnuts'.
Someone in Magic Spoon's marketing department deserves commendation, however. They let you order any 4-pack from their current inventory of flavors (which varies and changes, obviously) and today that was a choice from Fruity, Blueberry, Peanut Butter, Frosted, and Cinnamon. Then. After you've finished submitting your order, shipment, and payment, they close with: 'Would you like to include a box of Honey Nut and a box of Salted Caramel to your order?' I had to smile at the audacity of hiding those flavors until I was almost out the door! I call it the (effective) in for a penny - in for a Ulysses S. Grant, marketing scheme.
Final point, there are some free shipping or 10% off codes available out there. I recommend a quick scan of the webs (I got mine from Wisecrack on YouTube) and treat your family to a trial taste with a 100% money-back guarantee (and, who does that? . . a company, confident in their products, that's who.)
other recommendations:
Haiku 靄 月 5-7-5 俳句 Moon Mist
Delightful moon mist
Dogs horizon; Defogs my
Hibernation mood
more:
image excerpts by Pam Glines
Dinosaurs of Vermont Daytrip
If possible, I
recommend driving the slower 80 mile route between Quechee and Huntington,
Vermont, on secondary roads and over mountains. The additional 45
minutes of winding roads and elevated terrain always makes the journey as
memorable as the destinations. Comfortable boots are a must. Covid
masks are mandatory. Binoculars may be helpful. Entry fees are
reasonable. Check for hours. Some paths/trails are closed/not plowed in winter.
Plan on at least: 2 to 3 hours in Quechee at VINS
(Vermont Institute of Natural Science) to see all the different raptors, travel the sky-walk and attend a presentation [add hours if you plan on visiting the Gorge and/or the Antique Mall(s)]; 2 hours to hike some of the Audubon
trails in Huntington and about an hour to explore the Birds of Vermont Museum, also in Huntington.
more Vermont day-trips:
|
|
Montgomery hoon tracks |
Renfield Reminder
This is a courtesy
reminder. You may not have known (or possessed sufficient prescience) to
request this reminder, but it's more-than-definitely needed.
Keep a safe distance between yourself and
all vampires.
They verymuchstill want to feed on
you.
You accomplished the first step:
identifying that they possess the traits of a vampire—lack of reflection (lack of empathy); aversion to religious icons (lying);
aversion to garlic (use of manipulation and gas-lighting); avoid direct
sunlight (lack of remorse).
Subsequently, you
have stopped
inviting them into your home and you avoid them in public. Good for
you. Now keep it up. For the remainder of your time alive.
Because, vampires know
time fades even the most negative memories. The vampire in your life is
counting on 'bygones' and hopes you soon forget about the last time they
relished and thrived on your chaos. Remember the emotional anguish they
caused! Know that your vampire will never apologize for their past
horrid behavior, will never express humility or modesty, will never be someone
you can trust, and will never care about you except inasmuch as you can
be their
Renfield.
other narcissism essays:
Looking at Tomorrow (from the perspective of many yesterdays)
Dear tomorrow,
Most of the humans you'd
consider to be included in the term 'everyone'—who are living complex-n-simple in every location—in all of time (which includes the distant future) have
felt, and will feel, similar to the way you're feeling today.
No matter what happens tomorrow (or next
month) or even next year. No matter who does what to whom on this election day, no matter
who's happy and who's sad: you've already made it through worse things
before. We are surviving 2020, the most calamitous year in
the last century, things have to improve (since there's no where to go but up).
If they
burn the oilfields
as they retreat, we'll extinguish them. If they
kill the hostages
before we board the plane, we will morn them. If they seize the Bureau
of Land Management's
Wildlife Refuge, we will mail them sugarless gummy bears. And, if they win the
election, we'll win next time.
Thanks for keeping this in mind,
Yesterday
other theo-philosophical essays:
Haiku キバチ 鳩 5-7-5 俳句 Pigeon Horntail
That's just a harmless
Pigeon Horntail Wasp ... it's not
a Murder Hornet.
more:
image excerpt by Bill McMillian
Burb Bear Got My Birb Food
Black bear came into my backyard last night.
Birb feeder pole snapped-off level to ground.
Birdseed eaten, feeder beaten, suet...
bracket bent, while I and my neighbors slept.
Busy village livelong day - in starlight...
barely a sound (two nightly trains, except).
Bolder, hungrier, less reason to fear...
Beware there, bear, hunting season is here.
more Vermont stuff:
Aunt Teabody’s Ataraxia Expedition on the Pennsylvanian Escarpment (Episode 2 in the Age of Loneliness Series)
 |
| aka: Mama Timedance and the Lightness of Being |
⬅ Age of Loneliness Series, Episode 1
Ataraxia - Freedom from mental perturbation through the rational act of eschewing all dogmatic beliefs relating to thoughts and perceptions; related to the ancient Greek philosophy of Pyrrho (circa 300 BCE).
Pennsylvanian - Geological subperiod dominated by large invertebrates (circa -300 Ma).
continue perusing similart:
floating heads and already deads
B.R.O.Y.G.
Blue daylight clear cloudless sky
Red dying leaves asking why
Orange liar: say bye-bye
Yellow underlying sly
Green amplifier, stay high
True delight 'rear clothe-less thigh'
Shed prying eaves basking nigh
Our change dire: Tuesday shy
Bellow! *gratifying sigh*
Between the pyres walking by
Cyanobacteria and Poision Ivy and Covid (oh my)
Closed, of course, we went to Burlington's shore.
Dozed, did we, forget it's twenty-twenty?
Nosed, instead, park path to tree-house, no cure.
Rosed, three leaves, surrounded by so many!
Church, shops full, sidewalk restaurant tables.
Search, crowd masks; rarely a bare face in sight.
Merch, local: Bern, Ben, Jerry, things maple.
Lurch, ski slope. Is Champy a hoax? (not quite).
other Vermont to-see's:
Haiku 裏庭のアート 5-7-5 俳句 Backyard Art
Spring's leaves will struggle
春の葉は苦労します
to recall the pain of fall
because of new storms
more:
image excerpts by Michael Soriano
| Modern Times | And How |
 |
| Modern Times |
I designed this poem to s l o w your reading pace to a crawl.
Use of colloquialisms, syl·la·ble-breaks, [internal dialogue],emphasis,*added emphasis* and various tools of poetry
have been combined to paint a picture in your mindabout something which I, personally, fear the most.
Book·ing-thru their big pho·to al·bum book (at)
un·fam·ili·ar pla·ces and fa·ces — when (theez)
[ . . . got to get bet·ter - not too up·set, we’re . . .
]
pe·ople in this room claim: that’s young me wear(ing)
look·ing-a·skew with squints and guard·ed looks (that)
[ . . . wrought true; fret ne·ver - blot new debt let·ter . . . ]
seem un·hap·py “their life’s crap·py” — *my* ... what(eav’z)
spy·ing fro·zen strange day-dreams in time stare(ing)
[ . . . aught you bet whe·ther - hot dew sweat
sweat·ter . . . ]
nook·ing-brew this knocks stuff from brain nook, (fat)
chance of that - I don’t say to crowd of who? (Friendz)
[ . . . thought grew: met bet·ter - fraught shrew
threat fet·ter! . . . ]
we’ve al·rea·dy said, known whole life·time *glare(ing)*
gob·ble·dey·gook·ing-slew hop·ing I gob(smack’t)
[ . . . rot through abet·ter - slaught sprue sun-sett·er! . . . ]
them; flare my scare·y eyes. Do you know where (pleadz)
all these pic·tures’ mem·or·ies, now, are hide(ing)?
similar:
Haiku どこにでも 兆候兆候 5-7-5 俳句 Signs signs, everywhere there
image excerpts by:
David McNew, Scott Olsen, and
Brooke Shaden
Where moose tracks are rare, but hoon tracks ubiquitous
About a dozen miles south of the US-Canadian border, Montgomery, Vermont (almost-kinda translates into mountain man-of-power green mountain, which conjures *ho ho ho green giant*) contains three covered bridges, numerous signs warning motorists to be alert for moose, and a plethora of hoon tracks (see image, above). Not much else.
A few miles south of Montgomery—near the center of Montgomery Center—is a quaint hotel-restaurant called The INN (accent theirs, which conjures *the in in inn*). The INN calls attention to itself with unique signage; currently, their sign says: I CAN SPOT A JUDGEMENTAL PERSON JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM. The rest of the village: ditto the hoon tracks and watch for moose signs, no covered bridges, however.
As one continues south thru Hutchins, VT, the hoon tracks continue in prevalence, the "don't crash into a moose" signs become less-so, and there is but one covered bridge.
Another ten miles south thru Belvidere, VT, the hoon tracks begin fading, as do moose warning signs, but there are a handful of covered bridges; including the Montgomery Covered Bridge in Waterville, Vermont. [The exact number of bridges available to find/see may vary. I found one, labelled Kissing Bridge, that doesn't appear on every map because, I suspect, it's not very old. (Vermont has several named Kissing Bridge, including one in the center of Waterville).]
Also, I learned, that not all covered bridges are referred to as such, some are labelled Romantic Shelters. And it's possible that if it is a newer structure (not part of the Historical Society) or built on private land, it can only be found by lucky sightseers and observant travelers.
other Vermont to-see's:
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