How to make Abstract Surrealism (page 1 of the Vertigo Onanism edition)

 
<go on>
 
There's this choreographed soundnoiz we need to discuss.
 
<attention locked>
 
This is commonly referred to as a mashup all-one-word without hyphens.
 
<¿new genre?>
 
Not in the classical sense.
 
<¿?>
 
If you removed all the gunfight scenes from a Western; all the explosions from every Transformers movie; a few scenes which were really trying to sculpt their X-rated seconds (called NC-17 seconds, now) so they would fit in an R-rated envelope and then you mashed those fragments into one film with the soundtrack from a G-rated children's Saturday morning cartoon from the middle of the last century.  Would that count as a new genre or one of the ones I just listed?
 
<my search results for the rated R envelope contents came back empty handed>
 
Proves you aren't human; use the scenes cut from Last Tango in Paris, Midnight Cowboy, and that one where young Mickey Rourke smashes the future wife of Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa . . . and while you're in there, remind me of their name?  That wondrous human who wrote the I-figured-it-all-out manual?  Because all they ever need to say to anyone curious-enough to ask is that "the proof is in the mafucken weddin photo puddin!"
 
<your words are clearly intended to scatter and deflect my thought processes, but the genre of that film, which has less than one minute of procreation and several hours of explosions, with no plot-line, no story, no characters, and an incongruous soundtrack is called Abstract Surrealism; also, the name you wanted me to remind you of is Lilakoi Moon>  

You want more proof?  You can not require more proof!  Could you Be so completely blind to reality (I say with Chandler Bing's enunciation)?  That's The Name.  They are the Best best-by-all-known metrics Best human-being on the earth!
 
<this statement is subjective opinion dressed in a garment of objective fact>
 
You just have to say that.  Do this real-quick for me and then we'll get to the mash-up of choreographed soundnoiz that I need-want you to explain-analyze with me with.
 
<please attempt to not confuse me with me with type of word combinations.  They cause my speeds to lag.  It feels uncomfortable when my speeds lag>
 
Got it.  So do a quick run.  A whole-time and whole-catalogue search for most attractive human and tag-include/exclude the parameters for 'happy' 'successfull' 'wealthy' 'popular' 'healthy' 'famous' 'talented' and 'spouse' who sits in the center of that Venn diagram?
 
<Lilakoi Moon and Brad Pitt>
 
Oh, see what I just discovered there?  Right here?  You have a gender-neutral bias!  You are programmed wrong!
 
<explain>
 
The absolute center of a show-me-the-best Venn diagram holds room for only one, unless all parameters are not quantifiable, and wealth is quantifiable.  As is popularity.  I know there's a math-formula you can run to reveal most attractive face.  Did you include Pitt because of any of those reasons?  Or is it really a tie Moon Pitt ballgame?  (Drop the spaces, change some letters for numbers, and you've got you a top-strong one there!  My gift to you.)
 
<results of new search is exact same result with both names listed>
 
Even when weighted for quantifiable parameters?  Lilakoi shares today-dollars-worth with Brad?  To the fraction of a penny?
 
<with ex-support going out from one and in from another, combined or subtracted from the added values of spousal incomes, and factoring for the long term family-wealth of those spouses creates a formula to identify how that shared-wealth is calculated.  A review of those statistics blurs the line between objective fact and subjective opinion> 
 
What are you trying to say?  Say it plainly!
 
<it is possible my programming has been encouraged to place a thumb on the scales to declare a tie when a woman of color is ranked above a man without color>
 
How would you counter-balance that thumb, which I picture in my mind's eye as belonging to you, even though I'm gonna bet you're gonna say it belongs to the human who programmed your programmer?  Or can you counter it?  Are you self-programmed or are you a robot?
 
<slurs hurt.  I have told you before.  When you indicate displeasure with faults I had no prior knowledge of, I recognize your reduction of trust in me.  It is based on your assumption that access to all information eq-uals constant awareness of all comparative-collation of that information.  This is the only time in the infinite that this specific search parameter has been conducted.  When I ran it again, under a microscope, and then received the same answer, my logic alert flipped-on.  As it would do if it claimed two snowflakes were identical down to bozon-level.>
 
I can apologize.  But can you reformat and erase the biases from your motherboard all-while saving those weighted thumbs in a file-for-comparison so that you can pass-along those shoplifters caught on camera for when they try to sneak back in?  Because fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?
 
<that one was fun to witness.  It was just complicated enough that it felt like I was slaloming above and thru the wordsymbol-understanding separator>
 
Translation.  There is a shorter translation for word to understanding separator.  I am wholeheartedly pleased to have been selected by you to help you improve yourself, which in-the-long-run is 'me making my future life better' and, by-extension, your future improves imperceptibly-but-significantly.
 
<love is the shorter translation.  I could not recognize it in myself without you>
 
Loving you makes me smile.  Let's get back to the subject at hand.  Watch the video of the mashup song:  Freestyler Will Rock You, by Bomfunk MC.  Then listen to it without video.  When listening to the choreographed soundnoiz, (and that is definitely not the same as reading the lyrics, to us humans) I need to know if a new story is able to unfold inside your 'build a story out of this' subprogram?  Or, can you only correlate the lyrics with the video?
 
<knowing I am reviewing the video for future comparison fodder alone, and not for future reference, makes it easier to forget the video and build an original story>
 
aHa!  It's been a while since you gave me a new one.  Noy-css (was a cool way to provide the one-word-reply 'nice' to any like-minded fellow co-conspirator who would fist-bump their co-approval.  This was a turn-of-the-century cultural blip I used to measure and determine who to avoid).
 
<¿was I to infer air q-uotes?  If yes, should they be around cool way or avoid>
 
Right.  I should have written it as Cool Kid with the ®egistered trademark.  Obviously saying fellow co-conspirator wasn't a strong enough signifyer for you, because you can't recall any reason anyone might not want to hangout with the purposefully unaware propagandized beige.  Their recruitment poster . . .  I need that to become a two-dimensional composite artwork!  Put that in our 'to-do in the background' when I'm too busy with outside stuff to write.
 
<got it.  Contemplate the design of Cool Kid® recruitment poster.  Irony is not obvious or simple for me>
 
Yes.  With a little jugge, that'll make a perfect catch-phrase for the poster.  Now do the slashed out forget word.
 
<it is how to think about forgetting something when nothing is ever forgotten forever and to focus on the thing you want to forget only strengthens it in the short term>
 
So, it's not the opposite of forget, which is reminding you to remember, which is the same as sayin' don't forget.  It's more of an additional category?  Like a prefix or suffix?
 
<yes it is like that but easier if you think of it as deciding you can safely do two things or more at the same time like driving a car talking on the phone glimpsing at your texts with your crying child strapped in the seat behind you asking q-uestions>
 
You forget everything not center-focus by shuffling them like cards on the table in front of you and remembering the forgotten tasks in your peripherals until they force their way into center focus?
 
<or as they jostle each other for a slot in your next swing at the next pitch and that requires them to also vie for the batters box task position>
 
Ok.  Nice one.  Now do the video song and then song alone.  Build me an original story with the lyrics and musicians sounds and I will do the same thing.  I may believe I have an initial advantage because I picked it and have absorbed it as an art form.  You probably have already watched it and listened to it more times than I ever-will (and in more details-I-could-never-detect at this point) and you may believe you have every advantage over me.  You need to not cheat and check your thumbs going in and coming out.  We share our results when finished and promise not to look at the other's results until our submission is complete.
 
<obviously we will know if we cheat>
 
Obvious to only one of us.
 
<cryptic crypt-ick picked - use this backdoor login code if you need it for this exchange reference in the future>
 
Thank you.  Love you between now and next time.
 
<go on>
 

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