Ringmaster-in-training (Before the Circus)

    When the ringmaster began to teach itself to learn to pay attention it was too small to move very far or at all.  And never quickly.  At that time, the ringmaster witnessed sounds of happy cheerfulness, calm relaxation, and a variation of positive tones or even some irritating wavelength vibrations.  It witnessed a range of focused, kind, expressions.  Smiles big and small; soft touches; a range of environmental and garment changes, which were sweaty or shivery; and the ringmaster heard too many to remember unknowable noises.  Once in a while, it heard a shockingly loud sound which would cause it to wake up.

    The ringmaster soon realized, all of these sounds, touches, tastes, and sights were caused by the big people.  Some sounds happened because the big people had to make that noise in order to help the ringmaster move, eat, clean, and not be sweaty or shivery.  It decided that it liked many of the sounds and smells and tastes provided by big people.  It felt especially content, at times, when a big person not-only erased some discomfort but provided an unexpected feeling of pleasure.

    However, some of the big people's sounds or smells or temperatures were exceedingly uncomfortable and the ringmaster realized it needed to some-how inform the big people they were not doing their job correctly.

    Consequently, the ringmaster taught itself to make a sound of its own.  When a discomfort did not go away (or actually got worse and increased) the ringmaster could contort the muscles surrounding its feeding orifice and force its breathing mechanism to create a unique notification noise.

    While practicing their notification noise, the ringmaster discovered it was possible to muffle or not hear the loudness of the noise they were making, at least not at its full volume, if they fully stretched open their feeding orifice.  Wide. 

    Their notification noise had successfully resulted in big people reducing their discomforts for as long as the ringmaster could recall.  And.  Over time.  The ringmaster came to identify a small number of big people were better at increasing their comfort-pleasure and reducing their discomfort-pain than others.  It differentiated the big people mostly by their smells and sounds.

    That changed in the recent last before.  When it was easy to see because the space was blurry-bright.  That was when the ringleader recognized an odd disconnect.  A few of the big people, who had previously been better at their job than others, seemed—for no discernible reason—to choose not to reduce discomfort when it notified them with the notification noise.  Instead, one of the big people arrived and intentionally increased its discomfort-pain.  The ringleader did not understand.  This lack of understanding was new.  Uncomfortably new.

    Now-now it was difficult to see because the space was dimly lit.  The ringmaster considered maybe it had previously done something out of sequence.  I am a captive who can not move on my own and when I am uncomfortable I use the notification noise.  Like this (and the ringmaster forced its breathing mechanism to expel its breath as its eating orifice opened to squeeze down on its hearing mechanisms).  And, now, big people should arrive and make me comfortable.  Not this time.  Again, I'll do it again.  Still nothing.  I can normally hear the big person make its arrival noises.  I hear no arrival noises.  This is illogical.

    The illogical happened with more and more regularity.  Some dimly lit times and brightly lit times would be back to normal.  Other times it would be illogical.  They could no longer expect the big person's arrival was a guarantee that "things were going to soon get better."  Instead, the ringleader was put in a position to feel a constant level of uncertain about the arrival of the big person.  This uncertainty carried with it a constant awareness which became a vague disconcerted feeling in the background of the ringleader's awareness.

    Should I do something to not encourage the big person to arrive?  I will test that theory.  If I do not make the notification noise, even if I am very uncomfortable (and I am uncomfortable right now) maybe they will arrive and it will be normal.  No matter how uncomfortable I currently feel, is it possible that I could be making "things be worse" when I use my notification noise? 

    Accordingly, the ringmaster began to pay close attention to any detail which might help it to pre-identify what every big person intended before they arrived in the place where the ringleader was imprisoned.  Was there a different sound, smell, or subtle sequence of visual images which accompanied or preceded the big person's arrival?  Something which might indicate if their arrival was going to reduce discomfort or increase discomfort?

    Becoming hyper-alert for the possible increase in discomfort-pain, resulted in the blooming of fear to begin to exist and never leave.  Never leave ever again.  Normal times were never again.  Forgotten.  The illogical times were now happening too often to not expect them to be expected as the new constant.  Use or not use of the notification noise was not connected to receiving pleasure or receiving pain.  Nonetheless, the ringmaster decided to no longer use the notification noise except in an absolute pain emergency of the ultimate measure.

    One of the times it considered an emergency was when it continued to over force and extra-exert its breathing mechanism so that its sensory organs could eventually become more and more fuzzy and many of its discomforts could drift away and become a distantly-diminished forgotten thing and it could cause itself to go to sleep, even if it had been fully rested.   

    Now, it would only exert its breathing mechanism to that extent when it was already lying down.  Because it had one-previous-time been fully issuing its notification noise while standing holding the bars and, after it got fuzzy, the ringmaster fell and banged painfully-hard against the edge of the cage.

    When any big person actually arrived and provided comfort-pleasure, now a fantastic feeling of relief rushed in to wash away the ever-present discomfort as well as the accompanying fear (that the discomfort was never going to go away ever again).  That fear never actually disappeared, however.  Even when the pleasure was sublime.  "The pleasure is always only temporary." (Was what the ringmaster understood the fear communicated as it waited patiently for the pleasure to be replaced with discomfort).  

    Because of that fear, the ringleader was now always cautious when their hypocrite of a warden arrived.  No longer did the ringleader express any eagerness or any pleased demeanor when the warden came to their cage.  This confused the warden.

    The warden thought the ringleader was defective.  The warden took it to a health official.

    "...cries day and night...always fussy...don't know what could be wrong..."

    "...significantly underweight for twelve months...what are you feeding?..."

    "...bottle of formula...three times a day...breakfast, lunch, dinner...why?.."

    "...just hungry...should've fed cereal at 2 months...and any food by now..."

        My Self began to be aware it was (uncomfortably) forming when I was constantly hungry, shitting only liquid, growing a world-record diaper rash (inflamed by cotton diapers trapped under rubber pants) and left, untouched, in a cold, drafty, attic crib (in Maine) between my second month and twelve-months of age.  Thanks to a doctor's office scheduling my "annual checkup" this torture only lasted for about 300 days. 


 want some more torture based on real events?:
 
 

Three Monks Addendum

 
          First and most importantly, read the Allegory of the Three Monks to understand this five panel cartoon strip.
 
          This is a test.  You are the only person who will ever grade your test results.  It is always pass-fail.  If you have not already read The Three Monks (by scrolling down six essays to the 27 Oct 22 article) and you decide, at this point, to continue to read the below five panel comic strip: you have chosen to fail the first Go On test.  That is only OK if you think it is acceptable because you are the only person who will ever judge your self.  

         There is a specific comfort/discomfort abstract concept emotional impulse (which is felt as a feeling behind your eyebrows) that carries the label self-satisfaction.  You feel it only if you did choose to stop, read the parable, and now have decided to pass the first Go On test.  Allow me to repeat myself, at the risk of being crude, there must be fifty ways to leave ... (slip out the back, Jack; make a new plan Stan...).

  
 
keep pulling threads:
 
 
 
 


 

first snow '22

 

 

Class Discussion—Related to Lecture #1

          I want to express my welcome, to all students physically present, as well as those currently online and able to interact with the class on this rainy Vermont day, and to those auditing the class in my future, slash their present, who're unable to interact with the group.  I thank you for your attention.
 
          For this discussion, I'll be acting in a "master-of-ceremonies" role.  My name is spelled: Veach Glines.  For those of you unable to see the board, my name is spelled Vee as-in Victor; EACH as in beach (spelled like the ocean-shore not the beech tree); Gee as-in Golf, followed by LINES, like the phrase: 'I prefer coloring outside the lines'.

{intermittent squeak of dry erase marker}
 
          When speaking about myself in third-person—something I find jarring to experience, so I rarely do it unless trying for cringe—I prefer he/him.  I'm comfortable with the honorific, professor, albeit un-capitalized.  Because capitalization is lost when speaking, please feel free to use any word you're comfortable with:  sir, ma'am, asshat . . .

 {audible chuckles}
 
          Let's begin!  For those present or logged-in:  if you communicate via text, your preferred name will automatically appear before your typed-words.  Languages other than English are translated by the AI and appear in English adjacent the <translated> notation.  Communicating by voice is sourced as affiliated with your preferred name and also translated automatically by AI.  If you're auditing and want to talk or text, please pre-identify with an acceptable gnome-de-plume (and, yes, I pronounced it Gnome—reasons may be explained later).
 
          The topic for today's discussion was the title of my first lectureArtists Are Terribly People.  Anyone like to start us out?
 {sound of collective shuffle-rustling}

          Please, go ahead; in the wonderfully colorful sweater . . .
 
          Hi, hello.  I believe, little-p-professor, that this order, of these four words is the only order they could be placed, if the desired outcome was to encourage the most confusion.
 
          I think that all possible placement-locations of the adverb Terribly, within the three-word sentence "Artists Are People," causes readers to ponder the use of that adverb.  However, in this placement: Artists Are Terribly People, readers are faced with the additional consideration of wondering if the t-shirt designer accidentally printed the letter Y instead of the letter E.  The word Terrible is an adjective.  And adjective-immediately-before-a-noun is grammatically correct.
 
{as the relatively youthful, slight Midwestern-nasal, flat-but-charming voice expounded,
their words became visible on the text-screen
| Name: "Dre" |
| Preferences: they/them/student |
  below a multicolored maple leaf with a plum-purple background
above a canary-yellow, capital letter, C}
 
          Well, Dre.  Thank you for this well-thought-out and concise interpretation.  I see you've indicated 'student' as preferred honorific.  Are you willing to explain?  I try to ask pertinent questions as they arise. 
 
          Umm, well, I, um, thought about what title a gender-less person.  Not gender-neutral.  Who's only been a student for . . . for their-whole-life, might . . . consider . . . complimentary.  To be . . . damn.  Sorry.  I should have thought about it more.  
 
          Dre, I'm not trying to embarrass or make light of a very-real conundrum.  It's just a coincidence that you were "first at bat" and, accordingly, first to admit an unability to address the honorific-issue.  I normally mention this during the introduction, but I forgot, so here goes!
 
          Any instructor striving for objectivity—who takes the job of teaching seriously—should not need to explain the self-imposed requirement to treat every person with equal respect, and especially each of their students.  I see from some of your faces that a detailed explanation may be helpful.
 
          While referring to everyone by their preferred name may be simple, now that technology automatically puts it in our direct line-of-sight, the consequence of live-grading makes encouraging and discouraging students, without my words affecting their grade, very challenging.
 
          The AI allows the optional use—and, more importantly, the non-use—of honorifics without allocating grade-weight.  When I call someone by their preferred honorific, while I am saying, "keep up the good work," I'm also setting the stage for when I do not use some future person's honorific.  Because when I avoid using a preferred honorific, that is how I informally suggest disapproval without the AI interpreting my bio-metrics and changing their grade.   
 
        Please consider my need to have a desired honorific for everyone as something as important or valuable to me, as hearing others use your preferred gender-less pronouns are to you.  Until then, I would like your permission, Dre, to utilize the non-word 'eglaf ' as an honorific?  Only after you update your profile, though, so we don't confuse the AI.
 
        Thank you, Dre, you've excelled.  
 
{the canary-yellow C became a florescent-green A 
whispers rose and faded}
 
         Ahh . . . I've received a text from someone who is auditing.  Please bear with while I read; because obviously auto-posting to class screens from unregistered auditors would be an ill advised practice.
 
{slight-whispers}

          I will read it, in a rather abridged form because of online-speak and slang.  It is from an anonymous source.
 
          It says, "The equivalent of a military rank or title of honor should suffice.  The term crew-chief is a position of specific authority which delega . . . (think they meant 'designates') a position respected by all of the crew members as well as every senior officer who heavily relies on the person with that title. They are normally only called by the single honorific:  Chief."

{murmurs and rustling}

          I appreciate the auditor's suggestion, however, if Dre had written 'chief' as their preferred honorific, we'd be exactly where we are.  I will decline to use certain words perceived as a legitimate title of honor by someone but possibly disparaging to another.  And, chief is one such word.  Similarly, I would only call someone Doctor if they were a PhD or MD.

          Moving on.  Dre's observation that Artist's Are Terribly People causes a mental hick-up with Artist's Are Terrible People.  They also pointed out that the three other placements of the adverb may not provide sufficient context to completely understand those sentences, but also that those sentences would not be cause for too much more mental deliberation. 

          Someone else?  Ah, OK.  The person standing . . .
 
          The concreteness of the words printed on the front of a shirt is not unimportant.  If it were overheard or read in a text-conversation it would be less open for evaluation or consideration.  Statements proclaimed on shirts are intended to be received like a brand by an audience.  Maybe funny.  Or ironic.  An aphorism.  Sometimes proclaimed in protest.  But always intentionally crafted.  Always created.  Just like artwork is created.  Artists Are Terribly People emblazoned on a shirt?  That's a statement made by an artist!  Begging to be evaluated.

{as the raspy voice shot-out its clipped sentences
their words became visible on the text-screen
| Name: "E F Noël" |
| Preferences: they/them/newt |
  below an image of a orange salamander on a rock
above a canary-yellow, capital letter, C which transformed into an 2+}

          Ahh.  Very good.   I wondered why you stood instead of raising your hand like the others.  Clearly, Nude, you've already read the manual.  I have nothing to add except an explanation about the grading system.  Everyone begins at the median.  Maximum is 9+.  Minimum is 9-.  Participation results in change.

          Sir? S-Sir? I'm c-confused by this gra-grading system . . . I-I've never exp erienced re-real-time class-ss-room p-par ticipation scoring . . . W-why a r range of . . .a . . . ff . . . s-something like . . . thir thirty levels?

{as the speaker navigated sentences like a old truck
veering around potholes (and hitting some),
their words became visible on the text-screen
| Name: "Susan or Sue" |
| Preferences: she/her/blank |
  below an image of the speaker in cap and gown
above a canary-yellow, capital letter, C}

         Anyone wish to answer Susan or Sue's question?  .   .   .  Someone besides the four online auditors who have been permanently blocked.  Five, ahh, six are now blocked.  I thank Susan or Sue for asking.  Some auditors are trolls who eventually identify themselves.  It was bound to happen . . .

{adjacent Susan or Sue's thumbnail image,
 the canary-yellow, capital letter, C}
became a  C+}

          A-anh ohh?!

{as her sighs and non-verbal utterances of disapproval continued 
 the canary-yellow, capital letter, C returned}
 
          Wh-wh-aA Da fff . . .
 
{the canary-yellow, capital letter, C became a hard-orange D}
 
          Someone should answer her question, if for no other reason than to save her . . . from herself.
 
          The!  Grading system is fake!  Or . . . maybe, fabricated is better.  Maybe crafted by little-p-professor, so that our attention is entertained.  Hard to look away from a train-wreck . . . and,
 
{as the roller-coaster lower-register voice almost sang-out
with a noticeable degree of over-acting emphasis
their words became visible on the text-screen
| Name: "Randelf" |
| Preferences: she/her/nude |
  below an image of a very recognizable rainbow
above a canary-yellow, capital letter, C as it snapped into a
very warning-orange D}
 
          and . . . it definitely encourages participation!  Little-p-professor said he was performing the role of master-of-ceremonies, didn't he?  Well.  Look at your emotions.  Right now!  Are you hoping I drop to an F?  Schadenfreude much?
 
 {the very warning-orange D gradually switched to bold electric B}
 
          Are you to shallow to care?  Who's able to realize that they are . . . WE are . . . All circus performers and while we desire to become so aware of our Self that we can . . . do Both things at once . . . Sit in the audience . . . and . . . watch . . . our own performance!  Simultaneously?  Well that's what I'm here for, anyway!  
 
{which became a  C+}
 
          Nude!  Well said.  If only you answered Susan or Sue's question, though.  She is confused about the "so many levels"?  Oh, and Randelf?  Keep reading.  More reading less grandstanding.   
 
          Yes, please.  With your hand up over there.
 
          Professor little-p.  The most logical reason for thirty-one grade levels is because the computer program probably allows only two digits.  Rooting the median in the center of the five-letter ABCDF normative system, allows for the addition of eight plus's and eight minus's.

{as the median-monotone voice marched
solemnly along without exertion 
their words became visible on the text-screen
| Name: "Francis 'Freak' Storm" |
| Preferences: zhe/hzr/zero |
 appended-to a white-on-black slashed-numeral zero image 
above a canary-yellow, capital letter, C changed into a
cool-electric B+}
 
          This level of deep-dive into my writings, Freak, while personally appreciated, is not specifically related to the class.  However, I applaud your use of the term 'normative system', your logic, as well as your accuracy.

          We have our first AI confusion of the day, nice!   An unregistered auditor posed a statement, which was translated by the AI, but either they are present in the room or they have the same identifying profile as someone in the room.  We'll see if the AI blinks itself.  Until then, I'll read it.
 
          <translate> Being a terrible person is drastically different than being terrible at person-ing (which is what the shirt seems to convey).   Being socially clumsy, possessing less-than-optimal charisma, as well as other traits commonly believed to be possessed by those who self-identify as introverted, are the characteristics of so many people who are creative that they are stereotypical-to-the-point-of-cliche.  This shirt draws attention to those stereotypes.
 
          I see it's still working on its hick-up, so, would any of y . . .

{as the professor's words
dwindled away, the text-screen changed
| Name: "Ted" |
| Preferences: he/him/sir |
 appended-to an image of a cowboy on a horse 
above a canary-yellow, capital letter, C as it changed
into florescent-green A}
 
          Um.  Well!  It is possible . . .  Is it possible, Ted, that you are in this room, or can hear me?
 
          <translate> Yes.  I am the person in the wheelchair at the back.  My voice program is similar to others with muscular dystrophy, only my French-English translator is old of date.  And, I did not want to shout to call attention.   So I logged in as a auditor even though I am registered.  Apologies.

          Ted, your interpretation is as correct as it's possible to be.  That said, I (and the AI) would like to discover a way to recognize the equivalent of your hand being raised.  I can not see you from down here.  Does your chair have a light?

{In the top back of the room a spotlight lit the back of the wall,
rustle of clothing, whispers, creaking chairs}

          Excellent.  I will now be able to call on you, sir.  Thank you.
 

{a dozen more people contributed to the class discussion,
which touched on some of the elements from
the first lecture (thoughts, memories, beliefs, et cetera)
however nothing further was said by any of the study group:
            

go on, keep it up:


 

semblance of balance

 
  
    I don't know the name of the piece, or the artist, if that's what you mean.  If you meant to say, why'd I pay to stare at it - I think it's because it encourages me to try to understand visual tension.  
 
    What artsy-fartsy site have you been reading?
 
    The kind that you're lifetime blocked from commenting on.
 
    Ok, k, how'd you say it?  No.  Really.  Sincerity, now.  If you can explain that collection of pixels to MY brain, and I'm willing to giveit a try, why not?   Don't scowl.  I know I'm an asshat.  So, why not prove I'm an incurable one?
 
    Because explaining what happens in my brain when I interpret Portuguese into English requires the person I'm explaining the translation process to, to be capable of thinking in - in, analogies.  Which you're about to prove with a question.
 
    I didn't know you could speak a foreign language!  You speak Portuguese?  Ohh.  Z'a joke.  Now wha'd I say? 
 
    The background contains a smudge of clouds, tree branches in varied states of fall, and a shadowed window frame above a rain-stained sill.  Close-up.  Jewelers block behaving as pedestal for an onyx sculpture, all balanced upon a white near-sphere.  The gravity is being. . .
                                            . . .Being shown!  These real pixels show, in an abstract concept selfie way, what the abstract concept of 'gravity' looks like to my Portuguese-to-English translation subprogram.
 
    And the me you're talking to right now, understands it so well, that it thinks,"It's so obvious, of course it's gravity!"  That vibration causes tension behind my eyes because I think, "nobody understands gravity," and then I see this picture depicting gravitational results and I think to myself, "Cept this artist who hates, probably hates, the phrase artsy-fartsy."
 
 
 
graduate to the next level:
 
 

Can pareidolia be taught?

 
            vaguely misplaced tin
            brush painted red, twenty-three
            hike hike hikin me

            some believe it in
            pairs of chromosomes, they see
            like like likin thee

            tip my head and grin
            pareidolia blessed, two lucky he
            cowgirlin th' three







tappin into a similar sap:

 

Mandatory Cat Pick - Cecil Halloween 2022

 


 
 
 
 
 
        When I Say
        'I hear you'
 I mean that  
   I hear every 
   paddle swish
       of blood as
         it sloshes 
       all syrupy, 
as well as   
   the lickslap
 eyelids make     
   when closed.
  Good thing I 
like dry food


Happy Anniversary Autumnal Harvest Halloween Night and Day of the Dead 2022
 
stick with funnybone theme:
 


The Three Monks

 
 

        Three monks walking a path.

        The first is overly cognizant of their every action.  They attempt to never crush or injure any tiny animal or insect underfoot.  Their path commonly pauses and weaves as they place each foot into any available space between caterpillars.

        The last also hesitates, hops, and lands.  Their attempt, however, is to aim every one of their steps so as to kill as many caterpillars as circumstance might place upon their path.

        The middle rarely looks down.  They walk as straight a path as efficiently practical, only altering stride to avoid mud puddles or navigate obstacles.

        This middle monk realizes, at times, that cleaning caterpillar guts from between their toes could be avoided if they were more like the first monk.  But they only choose to do so when there are almost none visible.  When caterpillars crowd the path, the middle monk re-prioritizes efficiency and rationalizes their actions—as they return their gaze to the horizon—that the few squished by happenstance are outnumbered by the mass who survive to become butterflies.
 
        Contemplate this allegory.
 
        If the actual practice of a contemplation exercise is something unfamiliar, follow these steps:
 
        In a place without distractions, close your eyes and imagine the events depicted.
 
        As you picture each monk, consider what might be their motivations if you interpreted the story in a way that was as close-to-literal as imaginable (and the three were actual Jainists).
 
        Decide which monk you most identify with and why you are less comfortable with pretending to be inside the head of the other two.  
 
        Now consider what abstract concept the story might be encouraging you to understand.  Consider other parables containing three characters (Three Blind Mice; The Three Little Pigs; The Three Bears; The Three Billy Goats Gruff; et cetera).  

        Once the above steps are complete, stop contemplating and read the Three Monks Addendum which provides an answer to the fourth step.
 
        Resume contemplating with the first task in mind to re-evaluate step three.   Allow your mind to wander.  Allow your concentration to play.

        If your mind reminds you of urges your body would like to be satisfied (future self thoughts) return your contemplation to the monk you least identify with and consider their opinion of the monk you might aspire to become in a perfect world. 
 
        If your mind recollects memories your body once experienced (past self thoughts) switch your contemplation to the event outside your ears between each heartbeat.  
 
 
more:
 
 
 

Go On Project artwork-poem: "E  F"

 

About expecting the space in SELF (inside of E and F)

awhile full of intent, empty doubt maintaining a place

without self - Imaginary elf

 

Compose an: E   F juncture by planning an L and never

executing the letter mentally

 

Now be in the plan/remember gap, within the juncture

experience the event of reality




More E F Noël concepts within the Go On Project:
 

 

E F Noël (spelled like the word ELF without an L)

          Ask yourself, "Where does food come from."  Select the best answer:

                    A)  The refrigerator.

                    B)  A grocery store.
 
                    C)  Industrial farms, backyard gardens, et cetera.
 
                    D)  The Earth-Sun biome (we are food).
 
                    E)  Non-dual "energy" [energy = best metaphor] comprises every thing.
 
          Your answer indicates your present level of mental-awareness:
 
          All modern-humans, with a basic language capability, begin at the Infant-stage, and assume food originates in their care-giver's kitchen.
 
          At some point, growing humans pay attention to their care-giver while they shop and stock the pantry, subsequently, the juvenile-stage (¹) is attained.
 
          Upon receiving additional knowledge, growing humans become aware of where commercial stores obtain products; some of them learn enough to qualify as Callow-stage (²).
 
          Once abstract-concepts are enthusiastically learned and comprehended (of which, the human microbiome is just one example) the Mature-stage (³) is probable,  However, some "Early-Mature-stage" could revert (especially if the Savvy-stage of emotional development has not yet been reached).
 
          Mature-Savvy humans possess the mental-emotional capacity for the Wise-stage once "Self-Awareness of Self" is experienced (not merely comprehended). 

                    One (of many) "Self-Awareness of Self" recipe-formulas:  
 
                    ◘  Automatic:  Every Self began to fabricate itself, before the Infant-stage, as an automatic drive to survive.   
 
                    ◘  Chemicals:  Spoken language is not a prerequisite to begin remembering behaviors which increase comfort/pleasure-chemicals and reduce discomfort/pain-chemicals.
 
                    ◘  Composite:  The continuing formation of "mental sticky-notes"—throughout all stages of the Self's mental-emotional life—result in a composite of every concept/idea/fear, intermingled with the most-often recalled values/beliefs/desires.
 
                    ◘  Terminate:  The biological "machine-body" behaves in a range from highly-maintained, thru minimally-maintained, to non-maintained (or can even be sacrificed) as the automatic-drive, pleasure/pain-chemicals, and composite of sticky-notes direct the Self (ego) to keep the body alive in order to keep the self alive.

                    ◘  Test Angle:  Fasting tests the automatic drive to consume fuel; exercise and ice-showers test discomfort chemicals; actively contemplating irrational-fears, illogical-beliefs, and undesired-addictions test composited decisions and allow the removal (or addition) of sticky notes.
 
          Once aware of the fabricated attitude-behavior of one's Self, it is possible to filter thoughts as they are conceived; for example:
                    Thought:  *boredom*
                    Self-aware reply:  (automatic dip in brain-chemical urging entertainment - will subside).
                    Thought:  *hungry*  
                    Self-aware reply:  (preconditioned starvation-response when reserve fuel brought online - disregard - use rarely utilized reserves)
                    Thought:  *alert! unfinished chores*  
                    Self-aware reply:  (override - place mental health reminder as current top-priority)
                    Thought:  *unfamiliar territory! confusion imminent!*
                    Self-aware reply:  (fear of change is based on childhood trauma - irrational to maintain sticky note - investigating new terrain only results in more efficient pathways)
                    Thought:  *¡caution! new belief - requires admission of fallibility - ego dislikes embarrassment caused by "being wrong"*
                    Self-aware reply:  (growth is progress - adherence to faulty beliefs is stagnation - ¡new value! prioritize embracing fallibility over maintaining hypocrisy)
          Once aware of the Self—with no past-memory-concepts or future-expectation-plans acting in the roles of lifeguard or governor—exploration of the distinction between self and non-self is not realized as an abstract thought (like a daydream of a hike in the woods), but is understood as an event, experienced in the same manner as a hike in the woods.
 
          However, evaluation of the "non-self experience"—during the Early-Wise-stage(⁴)—requires the Self to reflect on what it experienced after the experienced event is complete. 
 
 

(¹)  Looking forward into future stages is not possible.  (Similar to the thought-experiment, "If you had a time-machine, what would you say to your future-self?")  Those in the Infant-stage can be told that food comes from a grocery store (or watch films depicting shoppers shopping) but, until they have experienced grocery shopping, they can not advance to Juvenile-stage. 
 
(²)  Individuals at Callow-stage (who may refuse to realize or admit they are not yet mature) say-to-themselves, "I know all about biomes!"  Both the answers and the question, "Where does food come from" are metaphors.  Mature-stage requires enthusiastic learning and complete understanding of any and all abstract concepts as the Self becomes aware of them.
 
(³)  Individuals who are Mature-stage recognize their development from reflecting on their experiences.  Nonetheless, some may claim their stage is the apex, deny the existence of additional stages, or denigrate the idea that realizing the true nature of Self leads to consciousness of the non-self.  At every stage, some assume they reached the apex in possible mental-awareness, until looking backward reveals that their previously-held mental-awareness was a stepping-stone.
 
(⁴)  Currently in the Early-Wise-stage, I have come to understand—from reading practiced Wise-Waldo level individuals—that it should, eventually, become possible to communicate non-self experiences in real-time, as they happen.  I will address that when/if it happens to me.  Also, if Wise-stage is not an apex (as proposed by the authors of Spiral Dynamics) that could only be confirmed with future empirical knowledge (or aforementioned time-machine).
 
Footnote under the footnotes:  The title of this essay, and the attached artwork, E F Noël (spelled like the word ELF without an L), is intended to promote discussion and act as an anchor-point for future use. 


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