All About You
Above all, do not lie to yourself. The person who lies to themself (and listens to their own lie) comes to a point that they can not distinguish the truth within them or around them and so loses all respect for themselves and for others. And—having no respect—they cease to love.
- Fydor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
(chorus)
In 2011 this song, by Gotye, Somebody That I Used To Know, quickly became an earworm grating on earbones. Walk Off The Earth's cover was less grating because my eyebones were entertained by the unique performance.
Since that time, I've found myself playing spot-the-narcissist frequently enough that, in 2021, I was awarded the Advanced Narcissist Hunter merit badge (a hand behind a back with two crossed fingers and a lighted gas lamp hanging over the wrist).
If you, dear reader, are struggling to understand (feigning confusion)—then, bless your black heart—you're the narcissist Dostoevsky and Gotye are describing.
more:
Feeling is the secret - Neville Goddard
Lay down. Get comfortable. Play this 40-minute audio book (watching the video is not needed and headphones are not needed).
If I were teaching an intermediate-level pass-fail course called: Conscious Awareness: Meditation versus Mindfulness versus Prayer this would be a foundational class. I would play the audio book in a classroom with everyone laying on a yoga mat (doors locked, lights off, phones put away) and then ask everyone to discuss. Students would be given a week to submit an essay detailing their perspectives. Just like many foundational classes, passing this class would be mandatory to enroll in more advanced classes.
Intermediate-level because there are some prerequisites. One needs to already know about consciousness, brain chemistry, physiology, religious philosophy, and meditation. Also, it is important to understand that the author adds quotes from the christian bible (as do other important philosophers) and why it is extremely valuable information none-the-less. In fact, it is crucially important to discuss the various biblical quotes in a non-religious context (e.g. the reason Goddard uses the term 'prayer' instead of the more appropriate term: 'meditation').
How to Begin, Middle, and End
If you don't have ten minutes to listen to this man's advice, now, today, then--whenever you learn that I died--find ten minutes at that point and listen to it. And take everything he says during this TED talk as if some asshole you once called by my name was claiming this was the one piece of advice I wish I had gotten earlier in my life and the one piece of advice I wish I had passed along more often. To you.
Our holiday weekend (NOAA graphics)
How My Mind Works (Rat Thunderdome)
Sitting in front of the screen the oth'a-daay (which sounds just like a Letterkenny intro) I heard a slight splosh from the adjacent bathroom. Which cat knocked what item, swiiish-nothin-but-water, into the toilet?—was my first cogent thought.
I sat up. The cats were both at my feet. They appeared to just be starting to refocus their attention (from contented catnap dreams) to the open bathroom door. I stood, entered the bathroom, and turned on the overhead.
Nothing. No noise. I looked at the bathtub, the sink, and the toilet. Is the surface of the water in the toilet moving ever-so-slightly? Is that a droplet of water on the seat? I took a step closer and saw a smallish very wet rat attempting to tuck itself in the shadow under the front rim of the bowl (about half the size of the rat in this stock photo).
Envisioning the potential of my apartment becoming a Tom and Jerry episode with the well-rested felines gleefully working in tandem to reenact the Jurassic World "clever girl" Velociraptor scene (because they have never seen Tom and Jerry) I closed the door, tucked a bath-towel in the crack at the bottom and then (in a foolish attempt to trap and not spook) I slowly lowered the toilet lid and grabbed a heavy pair of rubber dish gloves my wife uses when she dyes her hair.
While yank-stretching the wrist of the second yellow glove (heavily stained turquoise) the spooked rat crawled between the bowl and seat, landed on the linoleum with a splat, and (from its perspective) hid behind the trash bin. Since (from my perspective) it was in full view, I reached down to grab it. It screamed at my face.
I was already aware rats can scream. Rodents can at-times be heard scurrying in the walls of our building and, occasionally, I've heard them squeak in sufficient tone and volume (sometimes followed by what would only be described as tussle and chase and silent running through the ceiling) that my mind pictures one of two scenarios: Gimme that! or Get away! So I was not completely taken off guard when immediately following the mouth fully open tongue tight against bottom teeth scream I heard rat feet behind me in the wall begin to scrabble and vibrate down the interior of the wall's rough fiberglass bathtub stall. Instinct caused me to glance over my shoulder before I smiled down on the grey-brown vermin and said, "You calling in reinforcements on me?" It dashed around the back of the toilet, crossed the shower mat, and hid behind the cat's litter box.
On my knees, I slowly moved items (containers of cat sand, plastic bags, cleaning products) to gain access to the bottom of the bathroom closet (while being cautious of a face-jumping rat who had already proven it was comfy with waist-level parkour). Once I had the closet empty, and never found the rat nor heard it scurry past, I began searching for a small hole in the baseboard. No holes. No rat.
Time for reinforcements. I invited in the cats, re-closed the door, and re-tucked a towel tightly under it. They slowly searched with their noses. The cat with seniority, Agatha-called-Aggie-or-Agz, now in possession of 19 years of experience told me, after a few short minutes, that the rat was in the one inch gap between the under-sink cabinet and wall.
After I confirmed her observation with a flashlight, I left them to perform guard duty (towel tucked under door from the exterior) while I planned and began searching for extrication equipment.
My definition of success was:
- All four participants part-ways physically uninjured (with no rabies shots needed).
- No blood or gore or loose rat components stuck in the one inch wide (2.5cm) by three-foot deep (90cm) dust-filled cranny (which would necessitate hours of sink-cabinet and plumbing de-construction/disconnection to clean).
- No rat reinforcements arrive. Was this even a thing? Did I really need to consider another crawling out of the sewer? Wasn't this a one-in-a-million fluke? This is tiny-town-Vermont where the wildlife is prevalent everywhere outside, not attempting to gain entry to the land of domesticated rodent predators through the drainpipes.
- No Tom and Jerry episode unfolds in the house or bathroom.
I removed the guard cats, replaced the towel, added a second towel, and then tightly plugged the toilet with a large scrub pad. Then—with a three-foot long piece of wood moulding [¾ inch (2cm) by ½ inch (1.25cm)] in one gloved hand and a plastic bag in the other—I approached the flashlit space and slowly nudged the rat's butt with the stick.
It turned and began to climb the stick toward my hand as I tipped the far end down to slow it's climb while simultaneously raising my hand toward the upper lip of the cabinet top (which acted as a roof for the cranny). Tightly squeezed twixt (now horizontal) stick and underside of cabinet top, it cautiously smelled my gloves and then carefully squoze (squeezed?) itself into my hand. I dropped it into the plastic bag and took it outside where I dumped it in the snow. It probably has already found it's way back into my garage or my neighbors walls.
In conclusion, I want to explain why I do not use poison or traps (and never have):
- Rodents who eat poison could be consumed by a domestic cat (no matter how careful I am).
- Trapped house mice (no matter if killed or re-located) will soon be replaced by their field mice cousins. It currently is 7℉ (-14℃) and the forecast predicts it to not get above -1℉ (-18℃) next week and could be as low as -10℉ (-23℃) at night.
- I routinely put out nuts, grains, and seeds for birds, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, skunks, opossums and raccoons (as well as for any other local fauna, like the rare bear, deer, bobcat, and fox) who might or has already come into my yard. Only a massive hypocrite would poison the less cute (but smarter) animals who choose to spend time in the walls of this old house to avoid the winter.
Yesterday's Are Tomorrow's Without Apostrophes
The variant of Covid19 currently infecting
the world is Omicron, instead of the Greek letters Nu or Xi, because Nu
sounded too much like the English word new and Xi is a common Chinese
name. Winter solstice 2021. Holiday time. New Yea.
more art like Yesterday's Are Tomorrow's Without Apostrophes :
Research Notes (NOV 2021)
- (So-far-successful) aural learning project based on anecdotal, experimental, results:
- Headphones (recommend open-back, wired, with an in-line amplifier).
- YouTube subscription (to eliminate ads).
- Firefox (or similar browser which allows simultaneous open tabs).
- Loop a viscerally recognizable, non-lyrical, song in a YouTube Music tab (e.g. Air - La Femme d'Argent).
- Open any want-to-implant lecture/story in a separate tab (e.g. Lao Tzu - Be Like Water).
- Adjust volumes so vocals are recognizable but not dominant.
- Time must forward. Entropy is a logical reason why this is/was/will forever be (don't take the word 'information' too-literally).
- Historically, currently, and forever-in-the future, rational thought/critical thinking skills is a rare activity in humans. Consequently, if you are someone who insists on evidence and your "brain recognizes a functional state which you have labeled 'uncomfortable' since you began the practice of thinking in this manner" whenever you witness -- in others -- signs of irrationality and illogical thoughts, Issac Asimov explains why you are an outlier and how to understand the lack of rationality prevalent in the masses.
- Ponder a foundational supposition: Quantum computers (technology utilizing quantum entanglement) might make it possible to send information backwards in time, in much the same manner as posting an article or video on the internet today is the equivalent of sending information into our future's time-line. (Publishing a hard-copy book has always been communicating with our future selves, but digitization of books make future needle-in-haystack searchs more target-successful. The yet-to-be-discovered task is how-to verify the information sent back in time remained accurate.
- There are recognizable-logical reasons that most mammalian bilateral symmetry (say that fast) has evolved into today's vital organs with either two co-functioning halves in one organ (penis, vagina, tongue, brain), two completely separate organs (eyes, ears, kidneys, lungs, testicles, ovaries) or the rare, single-organ exceptions (liver, heart, skin). Does heart count with four chambers? Is pancreas part of the liver? And where does one's individual bacterial biome fit-fall into this system of constantly growing, partially dead and alive cells we call a body?
- The largest single organism on present-day Earth is either a fungal system or a massive collection of trees comprised of one underground 'root system' and millions of cloned above-ground fruiting bodies (organs). Both are allegedly in the western US and began living long before we (the conquering majority) arrived and took governmental control of the continent from the thousands of indigenous human tribes who were populating the land (albeit without a continent-wide means of communication or government).
- If you find yourself awake after several hours of sleep. Get up! Find out if the right-creative side of your brain is waking you for its own "creative" reasons (you can nap or meditate later). The left-governing side of our brain (once awake) will draw its own, separate, conclusion as to why it is now awake (bladder, cat, noise, thirst, sinus, temperature, etc) and, unless you prime-that-pump with a "pay attention to the night-shift supervisor", it may not consider the thoughts of the right-hemisphere and, instead, guide you to return to sleep.
- The brain's association cortex is where creativity begins. Drawing conclusions which "others are not able to make" from an otherwize unrelated series of slices of information.
similar:
Research Notes (OCT 2021)
- It is possible for the human eye-brain "observe-recognize" loop to continue to function better than at what would be accomplished by guessing, in a laboratory setting, with a series of images flashing at a rate of 13 milliseconds, which is about 20 times faster than MIT scientists expected (as previously reported in earlier scientific papers). 100 milliseconds = 0.10 (1/10th) of a second; 13 milliseconds = 0.013 (13/1000).
- Passage of the US Farm bill of 2018 (HR5485) removed industrial hemp from inclusion in Schedule 1 of the Controlled Substances Act. Subsequent research has identified hundreds of different cannabinoids. Currently, the most popular derivative/distillation of CBD is Delta 8 (Delta 10, D9, CBN, and many others are also beginning to flood the market).
- Experiments with women during childbirth revealed that a combination of music and scientific hypnosis therapy (hypnotic analgesia) resulted in a noticeable improvement on both mother and child; reducing labor times, reducing cesareans, eliminating most pain, etc.
- The gut-brain axis is comprised of chemicals and nerves which continually connect the two organs and permit the contents of the intestine (trillions of bacteria) to communicate with the brain using chemicals (like serotonin) to effect/affect mood, pain, etc. To influence one's mood/health/well being a long-term adjustment can be made in the type of food one consumes (increase the consumption of fermented foods and fiber . . . FEED your 'pets' the stuff that keeps them healthy and pay attention to their signals).
- Broca's area of the human brain is where neurons are concentrated on processing our ability to use (and comprehend) language. This area is on the left side of our brain which means that--because of normal mammalian physiology--our right ear is better (comprehension happens quicker) at comprehending spoken (or sung) words.
- Cyanobacteria is the oldest life form on our planet, evidence exists of this blue-green aquatic bacteria 2.1 to 3.5 billion years ago. Our planet coalesced into a ball of lava about 4.5 billion years ago, eventually the planet cooled enough to allow liquid water to exist and an atmosphere of nitrogen formed (oxygen didn't arrive until bacteria excreted it).
Delta Season
Whether yellow shades of orange linger
this year has not yet been herd 'round.
Weather withers or exhilaratingly clings
as fear's rot kisses its irrational ground.
Together apart debating our superstrings
merely a lube to master the spellbound.
Pleasure inculcates a mental growth-ring
nadir/zenith/infinity feel very profound.
Treasure the bacterial "Borg" everything
commandeer life within without sound.
Tether-symbiosis requires no worshiping
pap smears all contain God the Fecund.
more like this:
Zabadak!
A 1967 song you have never heard a single note of by a band you have never heard mentioned in your entire life. Mesmerize. Theorize.
To name your band Dave Dee, Dozy, Beakey, Mick & Tich may not have been 50-years-ago-unusual but a name like that would have left gouge marks in the wallpaper both going in as well as after rigor set in and I had to dispose of the polyester ear-worm somehow. Somehow. *tension in my wrists to begin the Ward of Transmittal* Which is why I know I have never heard of these five blokes. Now, now we have.
However, the feat here was to never have any snippet of any one of their song(s) ever hit my eardrums, ever. They must've (all five of em) traveled the world ahead of me paying radio stations to not mention them and not play their songs while I was in range. Yea. That's my theory and I'm stickin with it.
Highly Recommended CBD Company
(unsponsored)
Hemp cannabinoid (legally available in the US/online since 2018) is something I have sampled from many companies and have recently settled on a local company—Zen Valley CBD—please let me explain why:
Best Extraction Process - After pressing the fibers, companies can either use harsh petrochemicals (like ethanol) to extract the oils or they can use the better/more expensive lipid process, which is what Zen Valley uses; extracting the CBD with MCT oil from coconuts.
Locally Sourced Hemp - The family-owned small business is located in Morrisville, Vermont, and they obtain their plants from nearby organic Vermont farms. If you are buying from them online instead of buying from their farm stand, or their farmer's market booth, it's still important that they source locally.
Amazing Veteran's Discount - All this must be done in this order, but it's definitely worth the brief delay and slight kerfuffle: Scan or photograph your DD214 or both sides of your military ID card (which you should be keeping in a digital file anyway!); fill out the Zen Valley Discount Form and upload your ID; wait for them to review your request (blurry photos might need to be re-taken) and send you a discount code; fill out their on-line order form and receive a 40% veteran's discount, which after state taxes are added, still means you will get 36% off! They also offer a 20% monthly subscription discount (I don't know if it's possible to stack discounts).
I recommend their flavored tinctures. You should experiment with your personal dosage (beginning at less than 15mg or ¼ dropper). Whether you frequently micro-dose less than ten milligrams at-a-time to keep the aches away or need an entire dropper (≅65mg) to sleep thru the night in comfort, knowing you're consuming a compound found in nature which your brain and body have evolved specific receptors for, is reason enough to choose hemp CBD.
other recommends:
Wonderfully Obscure Song by Reunion
Occasionally a 'one-hit wonder' becomes a 'classic'. This one never did. I loved this song so much in 1974 that I tried to write it all down and memorize the lyrics—just from repeat radio listening's. Today, a plethora (today's word boys and girls!) of lists are a click away: "Lost One Hit Wonders;" "Classic Golden Oldies;" or "Deep Album Tracks" and this song is almost certainly not on any of them.
Thirteen years later, R.E.M. released It's the End of the World As We Know It (it's time I had some time alone) and the rambling poetic stream of prose, names, situations, and its long staccato-list of ways the world has changed (e.g: ... team reporters baffled, Trumped, tethered, cropped ...) reminded me of Reunion's Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me) and my Asperger's re-reminded me to ask those people in my vicinity if they ever remembered it. And I've occasionally asked more and more people ever since then.
Not one person has ever replied 'yes'.
I can't be the last person to remember this song with a smile! (Can I?)
INSTANT INFANT 🚼 The Perfect Baby
✓ All the fun, practically none of the poop
✓ Virtually unlimited attention span!
✓ Cute as a frigging button
✓ Matches most decors!
✓ Quickly measure your partner's wavelength
Like the idea of determining your long-term compatibility with that special someone, but don't want to spoil the prom by bringing up topics which might result in too much honesty too soon? Then take them to an antique store (there's a left turn you didn't see coming)!
Although it doesn't have to be an antique store; it can be anything you enjoy, which you can do together, with them, at the same time. I suggest antiquing because I've always liked the feelings I experience while perusing a well-curated antique mall's smells (musk of library-garage-attic), sounds (mid-century album rock) and the 'new' memories that creep back front-and-center. This is step one.
You've invited them to accompany you to do something you enjoy and they've agreed (if they also like doing this with you, maybe this could become a you-guy's thing). This might also let you know if they're on your wavelength; because if they don't like doing this simple thing that requires no additional skills (which is why you didn't invite them to poker night or scrapbook-club or horseback riding) maybe they are not that specific flavor of unusual you are searching for. This is step two.
You find a never-seen-by-you-before, life-sized, cardboard cut-out, of a crawling infant in a diaper, for sale. You begin to read the marketing points and snort-giggle so forcefully that a significant quantity of snot leaves your nostril and lands on your shirt. You wipe it off but it's still kinda noticeable. This is step three.
What are their reactions? Do they share your sense of humor? Are they cringing at the idea that you're willing to pay twenty dollars for this odd-harmless item (which is obviously going to be displayed in your home in the near future)? Are they at all embarrassed by the booger stain?
Step four is simple. Find someone who already thinks the way you think, and already sees the world similarly to the way you do. Not someone who seems willing to adapt or says they'll, "try to see things your way". And definitely not someone who only prefers your company when you're doing things they like to do.
more:
Whelmed — Memories (and why Over- and Under- are remembered)
What is the cement of memory?
Does what we remember form who we are?
Why do we forget 99% of our lives?
As I typed this opening paragraph in 2019, my brain was switching between thoughts about choosing interesting words that would entertain itself as it compiled this sentence and—switch—scrounged thru my memory-attic for events which might fit in a bright mauve container labelled ‘overwhelming’. My as-I-typed brain then decided that the first event to go in was
Witnessing—for almost two full minutes—the 2017 total eclipse of the sun. I had prepared for that event for months. I'd bought expensive wrap-around viewing glasses and a phone-app to track where the shadow was going to be. Weeks earlier, I'd driven a few hundred miles to reconnoiter and read articles describing what to look for when it happened. The day of, I had woke at 4am for a 5am departure in order to set-up three hours ahead of time and as the moon began to creep across the sun, I recalled aloud (for the handful of people with me) memories of a few previous partial eclipses and I used the term underwhelming to describe those curled and faded snapshots.—switch—Those vague recollections of pinholes in paper and flimsy cardboard glasses were now attached—like a deflated balloon static-stuck to the back of a worn-out child’s sweater—to this 2017 overwhelming event. (I typed ‘overshadowing event’ and edited it so as to not end this paragraph on a pun.)—switch—
The moment when the entire moon’s
shadow—the umbra—completely covered the sun: the blue sky turned
black; the yellow corona around the sun became white; stars became visible; the
air temperature dropped; the silence of no-more bird and insect noises grabbed
for my attention; spots of corona-sunlight, inside of darker shadows, took-on
the changing shape (circular to crescent) of the umbra; and ripples of light
wavered across the ground like faint “light snakes.” My senses were
overloaded. My brain could not catch up. There was no time to think or
focus.—switch—It seems that my as-I-type brain considers it to be desirable when it-itself is unable to function as it normally functions (which, it considers to be its norm; its steady-state; its comfortable, uneventful, default mode; its regular state of being, which is neither over- nor under-whelmed) and this asItype brain is not putting anything into its memory. Short-term memory disappears unless something over- or under-whelms enough to get stored long-term.
I know if I were not currently documenting my thoughts—an act which facilitates asItype to be able, in the future, to become asIread (which, in turn, will become the me that has re-remembered based on what that previous-me wrote)—I would, very soon, no longer be able to recall how I occupied myself this 2019 mid-November Friday morning. If I'd instead been studying, reading, hiking, gaming, painting, listening to music, watching videos, talking with friends, playing with my cat, or performing routine chores, I would (probably) not be able to answer the question, “What did you do?” Because of these words, these paragraphs, this essay (about normally neither being over- or under-whelmed) I can say I was writing an essay about memory.
Now, asItype wonders why are our recollections valued? Is being able to recall something because it was sufficiently overwhelming/underwhelming to become immediately-permanently locked in long-term memory a prerequisite to being consciously aware of what is important to who we are and who we want to be? And—switch—let me dig for a stronger, more recent, memory to stick in the intense yellow underwhelming container (next to those partial eclipses).
Earlier in 2019, I drove through Glacier National Park. I would not use the word boring to describe the slow procession up and over—but I would not use the word exciting either. Rivulets of snow melt soaked me a few times (cabriolet top was down) and some of the hairpin turns with sheer drops revealed very interesting views; but a complete lack of wildlife and over 90 minutes of traffic-jams combined to make the 50-mile drive an unsatisfactory experience.—switch—
Why?—my asItype-self asks itself. What made this 2019 drive memorably underwhelming?
One answer is that my preconceived expectations were unmet; during my first visit to Glacier National Park (in 2006) the Going-To-The-Sun Road was closed because of snow (which created—in that 2006-me’s brain—an unfulfilled desire). On that trip, I felt privileged-lucky to see (and was slightly overwhelmed seeing): bald eagle, elk, black bears and grizzly bears, and experienced no vehicle traffic or full parking lots.
more mind & memory essays:
Fear = Survival Mechanism
I am a god-fearing–fearing¹ person. This multi-hyphenated word concisely captures my true feelings about the uncountable mass of tera–terra-idiots. ‘Tera,’ as in: the uncountable quantity of every dead, living, and yet-to-be-conceived bag of H20 and minerals who once crabbed, is crabbing, or will someday crab about on this planet; and ‘terra-idiots’ are those who once claimed/now claim/or will claim to believe in an invisible omniscient-omnipresent-omnipotent entity who created, controls, or will destroy, this ball of H20 and minerals currently crawling through space at 134K mph² (relative to the space of our universe) 486K mph (relative to the Milky Way Galaxy) and 67K mph (relative to Sol).
All belief-systems preach that their followers are clever, altruistic, kind, generous, honest, and noble people. And they all preach to their followers that the other belief-systems are filled with foolish, self-centered, stingy, deceptive and corrupt people. Every religion and church teaches hatred and distrust of others. Even the most open minded and ‘liberal’ religions sell themselves to their parishioners by pointing out the less open minded qualities of other religions.
Being afraid of people who claim to have faith in things that do not exist is merely a good defense mechanism—like being afraid of the insane. The actions of god-fearing and insane people are equally unpredictable, unfettered by common sense, and not grounded in reality.
¹Thanks Davecat.
²I apologize for using mph; but miles are relative to my
reality. The kilometer-majority need to multiply by 1.61.
³The god-fearing who actually read this, and take umbrage, need to treat
themselves to a hot steaming cup of I don't give a fuck what you say.
Leave. Big people are talking.
During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. The Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church—after eight hundred years—gathered up its halters, thumb-screws, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood. Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One does not know whether to laugh or to cry.....There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain. — Mark Twain, "Bible Teaching and Religious Practice," Europe and Elsewhere (1923)
Original article
written 2009 (re-posted during 2021's creative sabbatical)
more:
Gee-Eye-Eff ⦇3 sec × 105 hex⦈ × ⦇∞ ÷ 3¼ min ⦈ ≈ ∞
Pareidolia (say: pair-eye-Dole-ee-ah)
About twelve months after our first symptoms of covid disappeared, we received our first of two Mrna inoculations—which should prevent serious illness from any infections we might get in the next six months or more. Last month we received our second dose; two weeks later we spent a week on vacation and also began a new Eglaf endeavor.
I expect fewer blog posts this summer and fall during our sabbatical. We've already become aware how to mentally improve (emotionally and philosophically). The big question is will there be a future artwork to show for all the expansive grey matter work? We do not know if there will be anything tangible to show for our efforts after all the outlining, scheming, and editing. The act of improving me is the ultimate goal; creating a visible product for others to read, see, hate, or enjoy, is merely a nice trinket from my mental gift shop.
related viewing/reading:
A Comparitive View on the Varied Hue of Southern vs Northern Racism
When an average guy
(someone with a Y chromosome) possessing a vanilla tapioca mayo on wonder
bread lack-of-cultural-heritage, decides to open his mouth and express an
opinion about something he read about, or learned from others, or maybe
witnessed—but which he could never have experienced (and will
never live-thru)—because he was never a woman, or obese, or
transsexual, or suffered from depression, nor was he ever homeless, or
Black, or Native American, or in constant fear of being a victim of state
violence (etcetra) . . . I want to tell that fucker to keep his opinion to
himself. And when that fucker is me, I tend to follow my own
advice. Not always.
Statistics about
racial populations and political tendencies are (in this white guy's mind)
insufficient to explain why I'd never-again live in Alabama or Georgia or
Kentucky or Indiana, nor why I am (relative-to-my-own-past) content living in Vermont.
In the US South, the entire society which
comprises The System (controlled by white people) is waaay beyond
casually racist. If you, dear reader, happen to be Mr or Mrs
Mayo Wonderbread who lives in the South and thinks ‘beyond
casually racist’ is not an accurate description of you? Re-read my statement before you take umbrage.
The system is. Not all people are. (You might-could-just be casually racist and
not waaay beyond).
Racism is so routine-normal in the South
that white strangers assume everyone who looks like they do, thinks like they do,
and they'll freely talk about their KKK opinions. The reason Trump was
(and still is) so popular with white conservatives (from every state) is not because
he accomplished things they wanted the President to accomplish, or that he
fooled them (I met some intelligent people in the six years I lived in the
US South), the reason is: he's as extremely, hatefully, intentionally
racist as they are.
Vermont is more
Caucasian than Oregon, but the few racists in Vermont who I've talked to are careful in their probing conversations. They know they're a small
minority of the population here and they don't like getting scolded or
ridiculed for letting an errant word slip out of their mouth.
The week we
moved here, I met a neighbor from the next building. He'd seen our
license tags and said, “Where in Oregon are you from?” I told him and
he replied, “I heard Portland was a really liberal city, but I guess that's
something that can be beat outta somebody.” “Sounds like a threat,” I
said. He got all apologetic-giggly and denied it with, “just jokin,
not my intention, sorry sorry.”
In Georgia that
guy never would have backed down. He would have known 90 strangers out
of a 100 (including most cops) would back him up in an argument, or a fight,
or maybe even in a late-nite follow-up lynching. In Georgia, that probing conversation
would have quickly switched to fighting-words. And I
would have been the one backing down when he took out a weapon.
Here in
Vermont, the hate-filled Republicans might risk getting recorded on your
security camera sneaking into your yard to take your
Black Lives Matter sign, or your We Stand With: sign,
or your rainbow pride flag but they don't call attention to
themselves. Everyone here knows that 60% of the state is progressive
(Bernie lovers) and 25% are a strange type of Northern Libertarian (love
their weed, hate VT's high taxes, rarely leave New England).
The best way to
describe Vermont is to say that the entire society which comprises
The System doesn't tolerate people who are unwelcoming of people with
differences.
similar opinions:
Philosophical Belief Quiz
more quizzes:
Cactus - new EP available from El Diablitos
Lyrics written/performed by Pamela Flores (my wonderful wife); music written, produced, and guitars performed by Tony Guerrero. All profits from this EP to be donated to the Portland Children's Hospital.
more El Diablitos:
Cops Against Humanity (Portland Protest Edition)
just wondering to myself:
would I be a participant if
I still lived in Portland OR
still worked enforcing laws
if CS was in the wind and I
herd the crowd in the street
yes I would hope to be part
of the ‘change from within’
vicariously wondering that
as I watch (and judge) you
do Cops Against Humanity
because of you I no longer
will say: I’m a retired cop
while sitting in the comfort
just wondering to myself:
eight image excerpts by Portland artist Austin Granger at austingranger.com
more:
⩴ The Reason to Make Goals ⩴ We Become What We Think About ⩴
Earl Nightingale, 1956
"The progressive realization of a worthy ideal"
more good advice:
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